moving-on – Sarah Guldalian

The Right Kind of Growth

We all say we want to grow, we want to develop, we want to expand our territory – our tent. But, do you know what is hard? Growth.

And, when we say we want to grow, we all know what we mean: Grow in muscle, not in fat. Grow in revenue, not expenses. Grow in impact, not disgrace. And muscle, revenue, and impact all take work; they each cost something. And we don’t determine the kind of work it takes.

If it was up to us, we would grow muscle by eating comfort food. We would grow revenue by doing less work and living comfortable, lavish lifestyles. We would grow impact by doing a few viral posts instead of building an example through hard work and integrity over years. But, we don’t determine the seeds that must be planted for growth to germinate.

At times – in fact, many times – instead of doing that hard work, we buy products that make us build muscle quick. We think of get-rich-quick tactics. We buy outfits and cars that make us look successful. But when we do this, we miss out on the most important and necessary work of building our character through the growing. The hard is what builds tenacity, endurance, patience, and humility within us. We need these things to steward growth well.

If we build revenue, build muscle, and build impact without developing the character to shepherd these things well, the worst thing that can happen is not that we will lose it but that we will instead hurt others and hurt ourselves more than we gain. And instead of growing, we may even diminish and corrode. Because, impact is best managed by the person with integrity, built over time through hard work and the humility learned through – not only success – but through failures.

Without this humility, impact can be manipulative. And finances are best shepherded by those who have taken the time to learn prudence and discernment through time, education and counsel, or it can be squandered in but a moment. And muscle, when created the wrong way, cannot only fade but actually damage your body in the long term.

I do not share this to discourage or tear anyone down but instead to build up and encourage those who are doing the hard work – who have been at it for years – who feel tired and discouraged by subtle gains followed by trials.

Don’t give up. Your hard work will pay off — not only through the goals you are striving to achieve, but mainly through the strength of character, knowledge, patience and humility you are learning through the process.

And once you attain those goals — if that goal is God’s good for your life — you will be a trustworthy steward (a worker approved) who can bring help and blessing to those you impact, sowing good with ripple effect throughout your sphere of influence, not just within yourself for personal gain. This is the law of sowing and reaping. You reap what you sow. What you plant, water, and germinate does produce.

So, do not give up! Keep doing it the right and righteous way. It may not turn exactly as you envisioned it, but as you do the hard work – seeking God through the entire process (that is key) – you will end up with beautiful fruit that blesses others and yourself.

And, what I have come to learn is that is the truest, most honest form of growth — that which honors God and blesses others more than it benefits you. That kind of growth exceeds your life span and blesses the Kingdom of God, inspiring and equipping others to do the hard work of growth that too blesses their sphere of influence.

And yet, I know, as humans it is hard to push ahead, to do the hard work, and to endure, but it is worthy work — the worthy work of a life well-lived. So do what it takes to endure: Spend time alone with God. Gain wise counsel in your life that you access consistently. Ask for help. Surround yourself with friends who have integrity. And be honest — with God, with them, and with yourself.

And remember to have some fun and laugh. Don’t wait for that. And tell the people you love that you love them. These steps make it easier for us to endure, because we need support, community and spiritual covering to do so.

Most importantly, here are some verses to lean on for endurance:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance [endurance] the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1).

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

“And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:2b-5).

“Blessed is the one who perseveres [endurance] under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12).

For the Creatives

Someone told you that you were naive.
Somebody said you are too idealistic.
Someone told you that you’re too subjective.
Somebody said to use your head instead of your heart.
Someone told you that you are too right-brained.
Somebody told you to use logic.
Someone said you are too empathetic.
Somebody told you to quit being so nice.
Someone said you care too much.
Somebody told you that you are too passionate.

And so, you tried to figure it out — how to be “smarter,” less intuitive, more objective, realistic, more logical, to fit into the structure… And you took it too far.

You quit dreaming, quit listening with tenderness, quit connecting, hid your heart, led with facts, numbers and proof. In doing so, you lost your color, denied your gift of intuition, disregarded your creativity. You quit dreaming… and you lost yourself. Now you are just surviving.

I am here to encourage you to stop settling for survival.

Sometimes, in order to adult, we tell ourselves what we “should” think instead of admitting (even to ourselves) how we really feel. In order to survive, we morph our thoughts, our gifts, and our personalities to fit into a paradigm of who we (or others) think we should be. We begin to block our feelings to play the part — to stay in character. But when we quit allowing ourselves to feel, we lock up and hold on, instead of surrendering. We hide instead of healing. And in doing so, we begin to simply survive.

But survival is basic. Surviving is the lowest level of living. There is more than that — even so much more if we surrender, have faith, heal, and dare to dream.

You have to quit settling for survival. You have to quit allowing your thoughts and actions to be guided by societal paradigms. Until you surrender what you “should” be and truly adopt who God uniquely created you to be, you will barely hang on. But when you surrender what others think and begin to flow in the gifts God has given you, you will experience a new level of personal freedom, healthier relationships in your life, and even greater effectiveness on mission.

Start dreaming again. You aren’t naive. You aren’t stupid. You aren’t idealistic. You are creative, caring, and loving like your heavenly Father whose image you were created in. And the world needs more of Him through you. The world needs less yelling and more singing, less black and white and more color. You deserve that too.

Your talents are a gift – to you first – from God, and they are to be enjoyed. Enjoy them, and share them with the world. Go where you are greeted, and help inspire those who are uninspired but open to learn.

We need what you bring to the world. Bring it, please.

Releasing a Season

Sometimes, the old way of doing things just doesn’t work anymore. When it has been a worthy way — a system that you have loved that has served you well in the past – it is hard to accept this reality.

Before surrendering it, we try to figure out why it doesn’t work. We inspect it to diagnose it. Like a car that is no longer running smoothly, we assess if it can be fixed – and if it should be, or if we must say goodbye and start new.

We consider questions like, “What part of it is broken? What can I fix? What can I do? What part of it isn’t me but someone else?” Ultimately, does the power to fix this lie in you, with someone else, or have the circumstances changed completely?

At the end of the day, after lots of thinking, brainstorming, strategizing, and hopefully praying, you may conclude with an inconvenient but truthful answer — this system, process, relationship, position, or institution no longer works for you — not in this new season, regardless of how convenient it would be for you and for those in your life to have it work.

And in these moments – after exhausting ideas and options, after telling yourself stories – you finally come to the bottom of it. The conclusion has been drawn. At this point, you just have to say, “This is what it is. In this season, it no longer works for me.” And, as hard as that is to accept, there is something freeing in that, because that’s honesty — with yourself and with those around you.

I have been in this situation a number of key times before. And this phase – acceptance – is the hardest. It is hard not to run from it. It is hard to sit still, accept it, and breathe through it. But we must.

In that moment, where all results are in and we have come to this conclusion, we often begin to experience the painful feelings that come with loss. After all, there is grief that comes with the closing of a season; and we need to experience it to move towards closure in order to get to healing. And we can’t help but ask, “Now what?”

Well, you pray. Then you pray some more. Ask the Lord to comfort and direct you, and He will. Because, when you have a relationship with Jesus, not only can you get through this change – this loss, but you can do this well. You can walk away stronger, because of Christ in you, with greater hope for the future than you experienced before.

And when that flicker of light begins to ignite in you, called hope, you then might begin to ask Him, “Where to? What next? Essentially, “God, Help. Show me the way.”

That hope ignited through Christ can begin to burn brighter and brighter, when you invite the Holy Spirit in, and a new passion – a fire – can ignite in you greater than before. And, when it does, your questions may change to, “Why did I hold on for so long?”

What I have come to learn in my life is that, sometimes, we will hold on to an old way of doing things for far too long past the point of healthy, until we feel broken, drained, and dried, simply because it’s more convenient for others to have us live that way. When we do this, we sell ourselves out. We cut ourselves short, because we even tell ourselves lies to stay there. Yet, when we do these things for other people, in a very large way, that impacts our very souls, especially when the Lord is beckoning us to follow Him into a new season.

In this season of my life, I’m realizing that there are some things I have done out of obligation, and I’ve stuck with it… and stuck with it, and I’ve stuck with it. I’ve tried to fix it, bend it, flex it, looking at it from every angle. Yet, it’s time to release some processes, systems, and situations to see greater fruit ahead. Even more, though, I feel like I am supposed to share this message for someone(s) who needs this encouragement.

Is the Lord calling you to get really honest about something? To hand something over? To walk away? In my life, I have learned that not everything works for perpetuity. And it not only hurts you to continue down this path, but it hurts those in your life who, watching your soul ache, may receive a different version of you than you or they deserve.

At the end of the day, remember this: Your life is yours, gifted by God to steward well. And, many times, the Lord will guide you down a path that others do not understand, but that’s okay. They don’t have to. They really don’t. Maybe one day they will see and understand, and maybe one day they won’t. But you can’t keep wasting borrowed time stuck in a broken process or pattern.

It is pertinent we seek God and chase after His will for our lives in this next season – which may look different from last season – to fulfill His purposes and plans for your life. For it is there that you will experience spiritual, mental and emotional freedom. And we each deserve to be free, because Jesus paid a hefty price for us to be free and experience peace.