Sometimes, the old way of doing things just doesn’t work anymore. When it has been a worthy way — a system that you have loved that has served you well in the past – it is hard to accept this reality.
Before surrendering it, we try to figure out why it doesn’t work. We inspect it to diagnose it. Like a car that is no longer running smoothly, we assess if it can be fixed – and if it should be, or if we must say goodbye and start new.
We consider questions like, “What part of it is broken? What can I fix? What can I do? What part of it isn’t me but someone else?” Ultimately, does the power to fix this lie in you, with someone else, or have the circumstances changed completely?
At the end of the day, after lots of thinking, brainstorming, strategizing, and hopefully praying, you may conclude with an inconvenient but truthful answer — this system, process, relationship, position, or institution no longer works for you — not in this new season, regardless of how convenient it would be for you and for those in your life to have it work.
And in these moments – after exhausting ideas and options, after telling yourself stories – you finally come to the bottom of it. The conclusion has been drawn. At this point, you just have to say, “This is what it is. In this season, it no longer works for me.” And, as hard as that is to accept, there is something freeing in that, because that’s honesty — with yourself and with those around you.
I have been in this situation a number of key times before. And this phase – acceptance – is the hardest. It is hard not to run from it. It is hard to sit still, accept it, and breathe through it. But we must.
In that moment, where all results are in and we have come to this conclusion, we often begin to experience the painful feelings that come with loss. After all, there is grief that comes with the closing of a season; and we need to experience it to move towards closure in order to get to healing. And we can’t help but ask, “Now what?”
Well, you pray. Then you pray some more. Ask the Lord to comfort and direct you, and He will. Because, when you have a relationship with Jesus, not only can you get through this change – this loss, but you can do this well. You can walk away stronger, because of Christ in you, with greater hope for the future than you experienced before.
And when that flicker of light begins to ignite in you, called hope, you then might begin to ask Him, “Where to? What next? Essentially, “God, Help. Show me the way.”
That hope ignited through Christ can begin to burn brighter and brighter, when you invite the Holy Spirit in, and a new passion – a fire – can ignite in you greater than before. And, when it does, your questions may change to, “Why did I hold on for so long?”
What I have come to learn in my life is that, sometimes, we will hold on to an old way of doing things for far too long past the point of healthy, until we feel broken, drained, and dried, simply because it’s more convenient for others to have us live that way. When we do this, we sell ourselves out. We cut ourselves short, because we even tell ourselves lies to stay there. Yet, when we do these things for other people, in a very large way, that impacts our very souls, especially when the Lord is beckoning us to follow Him into a new season.
In this season of my life, I’m realizing that there are some things I have done out of obligation, and I’ve stuck with it… and stuck with it, and I’ve stuck with it. I’ve tried to fix it, bend it, flex it, looking at it from every angle. Yet, it’s time to release some processes, systems, and situations to see greater fruit ahead. Even more, though, I feel like I am supposed to share this message for someone(s) who needs this encouragement.
Is the Lord calling you to get really honest about something? To hand something over? To walk away? In my life, I have learned that not everything works for perpetuity. And it not only hurts you to continue down this path, but it hurts those in your life who, watching your soul ache, may receive a different version of you than you or they deserve.
At the end of the day, remember this: Your life is yours, gifted by God to steward well. And, many times, the Lord will guide you down a path that others do not understand, but that’s okay. They don’t have to. They really don’t. Maybe one day they will see and understand, and maybe one day they won’t. But you can’t keep wasting borrowed time stuck in a broken process or pattern.
It is pertinent we seek God and chase after His will for our lives in this next season – which may look different from last season – to fulfill His purposes and plans for your life. For it is there that you will experience spiritual, mental and emotional freedom. And we each deserve to be free, because Jesus paid a hefty price for us to be free and experience peace.
