identity – Sarah Guldalian

For the Creatives

Someone told you that you were naive.
Somebody said you are too idealistic.
Someone told you that you’re too subjective.
Somebody said to use your head instead of your heart.
Someone told you that you are too right-brained.
Somebody told you to use logic.
Someone said you are too empathetic.
Somebody told you to quit being so nice.
Someone said you care too much.
Somebody told you that you are too passionate.

And so, you tried to figure it out — how to be “smarter,” less intuitive, more objective, realistic, more logical, to fit into the structure… And you took it too far.

You quit dreaming, quit listening with tenderness, quit connecting, hid your heart, led with facts, numbers and proof. In doing so, you lost your color, denied your gift of intuition, disregarded your creativity. You quit dreaming… and you lost yourself. Now you are just surviving.

I am here to encourage you to stop settling for survival.

Sometimes, in order to adult, we tell ourselves what we “should” think instead of admitting (even to ourselves) how we really feel. In order to survive, we morph our thoughts, our gifts, and our personalities to fit into a paradigm of who we (or others) think we should be. We begin to block our feelings to play the part — to stay in character. But when we quit allowing ourselves to feel, we lock up and hold on, instead of surrendering. We hide instead of healing. And in doing so, we begin to simply survive.

But survival is basic. Surviving is the lowest level of living. There is more than that — even so much more if we surrender, have faith, heal, and dare to dream.

You have to quit settling for survival. You have to quit allowing your thoughts and actions to be guided by societal paradigms. Until you surrender what you “should” be and truly adopt who God uniquely created you to be, you will barely hang on. But when you surrender what others think and begin to flow in the gifts God has given you, you will experience a new level of personal freedom, healthier relationships in your life, and even greater effectiveness on mission.

Start dreaming again. You aren’t naive. You aren’t stupid. You aren’t idealistic. You are creative, caring, and loving like your heavenly Father whose image you were created in. And the world needs more of Him through you. The world needs less yelling and more singing, less black and white and more color. You deserve that too.

Your talents are a gift – to you first – from God, and they are to be enjoyed. Enjoy them, and share them with the world. Go where you are greeted, and help inspire those who are uninspired but open to learn.

We need what you bring to the world. Bring it, please.

Releasing a Season

Sometimes, the old way of doing things just doesn’t work anymore. When it has been a worthy way — a system that you have loved that has served you well in the past – it is hard to accept this reality.

Before surrendering it, we try to figure out why it doesn’t work. We inspect it to diagnose it. Like a car that is no longer running smoothly, we assess if it can be fixed – and if it should be, or if we must say goodbye and start new.

We consider questions like, “What part of it is broken? What can I fix? What can I do? What part of it isn’t me but someone else?” Ultimately, does the power to fix this lie in you, with someone else, or have the circumstances changed completely?

At the end of the day, after lots of thinking, brainstorming, strategizing, and hopefully praying, you may conclude with an inconvenient but truthful answer — this system, process, relationship, position, or institution no longer works for you — not in this new season, regardless of how convenient it would be for you and for those in your life to have it work.

And in these moments – after exhausting ideas and options, after telling yourself stories – you finally come to the bottom of it. The conclusion has been drawn. At this point, you just have to say, “This is what it is. In this season, it no longer works for me.” And, as hard as that is to accept, there is something freeing in that, because that’s honesty — with yourself and with those around you.

I have been in this situation a number of key times before. And this phase – acceptance – is the hardest. It is hard not to run from it. It is hard to sit still, accept it, and breathe through it. But we must.

In that moment, where all results are in and we have come to this conclusion, we often begin to experience the painful feelings that come with loss. After all, there is grief that comes with the closing of a season; and we need to experience it to move towards closure in order to get to healing. And we can’t help but ask, “Now what?”

Well, you pray. Then you pray some more. Ask the Lord to comfort and direct you, and He will. Because, when you have a relationship with Jesus, not only can you get through this change – this loss, but you can do this well. You can walk away stronger, because of Christ in you, with greater hope for the future than you experienced before.

And when that flicker of light begins to ignite in you, called hope, you then might begin to ask Him, “Where to? What next? Essentially, “God, Help. Show me the way.”

That hope ignited through Christ can begin to burn brighter and brighter, when you invite the Holy Spirit in, and a new passion – a fire – can ignite in you greater than before. And, when it does, your questions may change to, “Why did I hold on for so long?”

What I have come to learn in my life is that, sometimes, we will hold on to an old way of doing things for far too long past the point of healthy, until we feel broken, drained, and dried, simply because it’s more convenient for others to have us live that way. When we do this, we sell ourselves out. We cut ourselves short, because we even tell ourselves lies to stay there. Yet, when we do these things for other people, in a very large way, that impacts our very souls, especially when the Lord is beckoning us to follow Him into a new season.

In this season of my life, I’m realizing that there are some things I have done out of obligation, and I’ve stuck with it… and stuck with it, and I’ve stuck with it. I’ve tried to fix it, bend it, flex it, looking at it from every angle. Yet, it’s time to release some processes, systems, and situations to see greater fruit ahead. Even more, though, I feel like I am supposed to share this message for someone(s) who needs this encouragement.

Is the Lord calling you to get really honest about something? To hand something over? To walk away? In my life, I have learned that not everything works for perpetuity. And it not only hurts you to continue down this path, but it hurts those in your life who, watching your soul ache, may receive a different version of you than you or they deserve.

At the end of the day, remember this: Your life is yours, gifted by God to steward well. And, many times, the Lord will guide you down a path that others do not understand, but that’s okay. They don’t have to. They really don’t. Maybe one day they will see and understand, and maybe one day they won’t. But you can’t keep wasting borrowed time stuck in a broken process or pattern.

It is pertinent we seek God and chase after His will for our lives in this next season – which may look different from last season – to fulfill His purposes and plans for your life. For it is there that you will experience spiritual, mental and emotional freedom. And we each deserve to be free, because Jesus paid a hefty price for us to be free and experience peace.

Does Your Soul Hurt?

Is something occupying your emotions but not clarified in your mind? Our soul hurts – it feels uneasy or weary – when our mind and our spirit is out of alignment.

For example, if we are filled with the Spirit, but our minds are filled with fleshly thoughts, we will be out of step with the Spirit, agitated and unwell. It is like a bruising that takes place as we ricochet back and forth.

The enemy is always warring for us. He wants our thoughts and our spirits to be in opposition in an attempt to damage our souls and occupy the area that is marked for God.

This is why we must surrender every area of our lives to Christ – making each to submit to Him so there is no room – no gray area – for the enemy to occupy. This is what it means to make Jesus the Lord of our lives.

When we submit our thoughts to Christ, our minds are occupied with Christ – with life.

When we submit our eyes to Christ, relinquishing the things that attempt to steal our purity, and we instead submit our gaze to Him, He creates in us a clean heart.

When we submit our will – our desires – to Christ, He stabilizes an otherwise restless spirit in us and renews a steadfast spirit within us.

When we surrender our finances to Christ, we submit authority – that we have stolen for our own – and give it back to Him. (Greed cannot reside where humility lives.)

When we surrender our health to Christ, He shows us the path to abundance.

When we submit our relationships to Christ, He heals the hurt and pain, and He shows us the path to restoration.

When we surrender our past to Christ, He removes our regret, even hurtful memories, and He gives us the ability to focus our attention, our energy, and our very hearts on the future where hope resides because of Him.

If your mind and your spirit feel out of alignment, ask Jesus to show you what part of your life – your thoughts, habits, or actions – are creating a chasm and causing heartache for you.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it. And ask the Lord for the strength to change. Then take personal responsibility to partner with Him in this change. He is our helper to cause change and bring about healing when we invite Him in to do so. Yet, in addition to His power at work within us, we must make a daily choice to partner with Him, disciplining our free will to get into and continue operating in alignment with His greater will and power in order to find rest for our souls.

Healing starts with surrender.

Beyond the Brand: Faithfulness over Fame

So many things are vying for our attention, serving as a distraction from the main thing — the greatest commandment— to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”(Jesus; Matthew 22:37-39).

Last night I had the opportunity to talk about the importance of faithfulness over fame with my friend, Tricia Bartig, on her and Jayne Patton’s show, Unshakeable Hope with Tricia & Jayne.

Of course the time flew by, but as the evening marched on, I couldn’t help but continue to think on this topic. And, as I woke up this morning, this image came to mind:

Like a Barbie isn’t human, fame isn’t natural. It’s plastic. It’s processed — made by man. A Barbie doesn’t have a real heart. It doesn’t have a real soul. It’s not really a human. It’s counterfeit.

Somewhere along the way, we have allowed ourselves to envy dolls with fake mansions and plastic cars, with fake boyfriends and phony friends. We manufacturer our own lives with brands and images, fashioned by humans in exchange for real life formed by a real eternal God.

We humans are not self-made. As much as we would like to be so and say so at moments, we were actually made at conception — not at our personal favorite moment of success. We are in a dangerous position, walking a ledge, when we have created our own reality.

If you trade yourself in for a counterfeit version of yourself, don’t be surprised if you feel like you have lost your very soul in the process. In fact, it’s a very real possibility.

When all the spending, nipping & tucking, and image-projecting is done, we are still human, sitting alone at some juncture, pondering life and eternity, because what we have become as a society is not natural, and our very souls know it. This is not a game. It’s real life. Until we look at the motives of our hearts, we will not be able to change.

Where is this all coming from? What are we doing it all for? What is the motivation? It all starts with the heart. So, what is going on in our hearts? Why do we, as humans, seek this type of attention?

I have a few thoughts on why…

• For validation, to quill insecurities and to feed our egos

• From fomo (fear of missing out) – to receive the invites that make us feel like someone

• For influence, power or leverage — to call the shots in our lives and others, to feel elevated

Yet, too often, instead of looking at the motives of our hearts, we tilt our reasoning — we put a spin on it — to rationalize why our personal fame helps others.

My true question is: What good does one’s fame do for others? How can you, becoming an idol, guard your soul and help the souls of others? I argue that it cannot.

And, here’s why: We are called to make JESUS known, not ourselves known. You becoming an idol is inviting people into idolatry. But the very first commandment in the 10 Commandments says, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2-3).

As followers of CHRIST, WE should not be the object of other affections, of others worship. It is unholy to put ourselves on a pedestal. The higher we climb in our own will and own strength, the further and harder we will fall. I speak as someone who has been disciplined by my loving Heavenly Father because of my own sinful pride. He cares too much about us to let us walk the ledge. That is why it is so important that we slow down and truly listen for His voice.

Our Heavenly Father loves us — truly loves us — and cares so deeply about our souls. He wants us spiritually well for our eternity. He also wants us to live abundantly here on earth, which includes showing us the way to have healthy relationships. And that starts with being the person He created us to be with our identity rooted in Him, our true source of love.

When we become “famous” for a self-made construct, we are never truly known by others. In fact, we become leveraged for what we can do for others — used, pressured by demands, tracked for favors. Success according to the world actually puts a constant spot light on you that is unhealthy. It is like becoming a consumable product. People want and expect things from us that we cannot give and do not owe them with no good reason.

You may know Andre3000 from the band Outkast. He was once dubbed as one of the 100 most famous and influential people in the world. In an interview, when asked about his notoriety, he said, “Being famous sucks, because it feels unnatural, dehumanizing, and detrimental to mental health, altering how one moves and thinks.” From the outside looking in, millions wished they could have his life, but here he shares about feeling trapped by it.

Ultimately, we are not to be idolized. We are not God. We are incapable of meeting the needs of others. GOD IS THE SOURCE OF ALL FULFILLMENT– not me, not you, not them.

And the Lord knows this. He knows this is not His design. He knows the weight of the pressure that comes with this sin that so easily entraps us, and He wants us to be FREE. He wants us to introduce others to HIM as the source of fulfillment.

We are not God! We need to step back. He also wants each of us to be free, living from a place of Godly peace and love that shows us how to freely and joyfully give, not confined by pressures of this world.

This is why it is imperative that we repent for our selfishness, vanity, and pride (if we have found ourselves in this situation), and that we move out of the childish way of thinking of “What do I want?” to “What does GOD want for my life… and for theirs?” Make HIM known, not make ME known.

We as believers are called to SUBMIT and DELIGHT:

“Submit yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you when the time is come” (1 Peter 5:6).

And, “Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart” (Psalms 37:4).

When we submit to Him and delight in Him, He begins to heal our hearts, change our hearts, and purify our desires to be in alignment with His will. And, when He has done that healing work — disciplining those He loves (us) — and we humble ourselves, we can become worthy vessels of Him in this world who can leave a lasting, healthy, God-glorifying impact on this earth.

Finding Your Way Back to You

Life is a gift. Your life is a gift. It’s a gift to you from God, and it’s a gift from God to others. He created you and wired you with unique gifts and a distinct personality. He has put you in certain situations to help you develop characteristics, likes, and culture for you to enjoy and to connect you with other people who need Jesus in those cultures.

He also just plain delights in you. God delights in you. He just enjoys you for who you are — like I simply enjoy my kids when they tell me something funny or unintentionally make a facial expression I find to be so cute. They are just being. They’re just being cute. God just delights in you because you’re His kid.

God delighted in the idea of you when He planned you. You have always been planned. Your first day and your last day on this earth were planned. The moment you were conceived in your mother’s womb was your first day, and He’s been doing amazing feats since then.

You are unique, and you are wonderful the way you are. Yes, the world has impacted you and tried to take away the beauty of who you are, but God has even created a way to get you back to who you were made to be — someone who is spotless and without shame because of what Jesus did — to get you back to who you are and who He created you to be.

And so, be you. Be that person — the way God created you to be.

You walk through days, cultures, situations and pressures that do not honor who you are or how you are and in those moments. Without even our knowing, we sometimes adapt too far to fit into that culture, that situation, that group, and we find ourselves surprised one day that we do not feel like our true selves. We do not feel like ourselves. We feel lost, muddy, and confused. But we don’t have to stay there. We can go back to who we really are.

It takes work. It takes focus. It takes “yes” to the right thing and “no” to the wrong things. It takes courage to be who God created you to be, especially when it goes against the grain of the culture you’re in. But you don’t want to just adapt, to become what everybody else wants you to become.

You don’t want to be a chameleon that fits into every situation. You won’t feel okay, because you aren’t being truthful. You aren’t being truthful in who you really are, and you are not standing up for who you really are. It’s important to do that. There are ways to do that, to be gracious and to say, “I think I’m going to pass on that opportunity,” knowing you want to bypass on that pressure. You can say, “I’m busy today,” or, “That doesn’t really fit into my 5-year plan.”

It is also OK to realize that you’ve gotten into the wrong situation, and it’s time to change. It’s time to find your way back to who you are and how God made you, because after all, we won’t feel peace, we won’t feel fulfilled, until we are living in the fullness of who God wired us and created us to be.

So, do the work. Do the work it takes to be you, to allow yourself to be you. Say the “yes”es and say the “no”s. Make the moves that you need to make to fully live in the calling that God has given you. It’s worth the work.

What is an example? An example might be that you’re trying to fit into a certain role or a certain group. You’re trying to talk the way they talk. You’re trying to look the way they look, behave the way they behave, but you feel like you have sold yourself out. And that’s not okay.

You spend more time with you than anyone else, and it’s important to be who you are, to enjoy who you are, to enjoy who God made you to be, and not to change yourself to be someone that you are not to be accepted by people that you weren’t called to walk with.

So I just wanted to encourage you (and myself) today to fully be who God created you to be. Make the changes it takes to do that. Then, you can be fully known by other people and feel fully loved when they love you.

You’ll laugh more. You’ll feel more fulfilled in the work that you’re doing. You’ll enjoy yourself more in your “yes”es and feel less guilty in your “no”s as you move ahead. And, like I said, life is a gift, and you will enjoy your life so much more, which will show as you experience joy and shine brightly.

Ready to Compete

I have learned something important from my son, an avid athlete, that I want to share:

When it comes to being an athlete, you do your research, put together your strategy, and put in the hard work to prepare. Then you lock in, and you execute.

My son puts in hours of hard work every single day from lifting, cardio, and nutrition to watching film and planning plays. There is a reason for this: Because, on game day, he does not want a ribbon simply for showing up. He wants to win.

If he does not do well in a game, a race, a match, or a play, he does not want concessions. He does not want me to patronize him as his mother. He did not put in all of that work simply for physical gains. Instead, he put in all of the hard work to win as a result of his preparation. So, if he does not win, he learns.

In these moments, he takes the time to look at what part of his strategy or execution did not succeed and where it went wrong. Then he sharpens his body and mind for the next game, race, or match. And, by facing the truth of failure in order to sharpen himself to win, he is getting stronger and better daily.

With his goal of winning set before him, he submits every plan to that goal to rise up into it. He is a warrior – on the field, at the gym, and also in his faith. And each of us, whether athletically gifted or not, are warriors on the spiritual battle field when we are Christ followers. We are spiritual athletes, running a race.

In 1 Corinthians 9:24-25, Paul writes, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.”

Earthly gains are no gain at all. We do not show up to the race to get a participation award – just short-lived recognition for this life. Just as my son does not put in all the hard work for a temporal physique but to win on the field, we as Christians should compete to win the crown that lasts – eternal victory.

In Philippians 3, Paul writes, “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

The eternal win is to gain Christ, to be found in Him, and to put on His righteousness.

He continues on saying, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”

And, lastly, he exhorts us in this, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Just as an athlete cannot dwell on their past victories or failures in the midst of the big game — they must have their head in the game — we too must be alert and ready!

Like physical athletes, we must…

Do our research.
- Study the Word of God, know what is true, and what is a lie.
- Become aware of the enemy’s tactics
Put together our strategy.
- We must be on the offense, putting together our playbook, not just responding to or reacting to what comes our way.
- We learn about our armor – the Armor of God, described in Ephesians 6:10-18 – to learn what weapons are available to us in God’s power and how to use them.
Put in the hard work to prepare.
- We must guard our hearts, minds, and our time. We must put in what is healthy and remove what is toxic. This includes toxic influences from media to unhealthy relationships.
Lock in.
- We must fix our eyes on Jesus – the author and perfecter of our faith.
- We must fix our eyes on the goal – being called heavenward to Him, and walking in His righteousness in the here and now as He calls us to be like Him on this earth.
Execute!
- We must fight the good fight of faith! We must accept even the difficult truth God gives us and the difficult steps He shows us to execute as He calls us to.
- And, one of the most difficult but important lessons I have had to learn is this: Just as you do not help the opposing team win, we must not help the enemy win by simply dancing around, “responding,” or backing down. When the enemy uses people, don’t help them! Stand strong in the face of opposition. And use the Word of God – the truth – as your weapon!

Get ready! This is a big game, and you are more than a conqueror!

Struck Down but NOT Destroyed

God can handle our questions. He can handle our emotions – in a way that others cannot. He can handle our anger. But, let’s be clear, God is not our opponent. The devil is, and he is busy.

GOD is our greatest Advocate, our Protector.

Don’t waste your time fighting God on what He is revealing and directing you towards in your life. Though the realities can be uncomfortable, His clarity – shining truth in darkness – is His protection on our lives for now and for eternity.

God is your ally. Pay attention. Listen in. Lean in. He knows the way forward to victory.

The devil is our opponent here. Fight the enemy and the spiritual warfare he is trying to throw your way.

The enemy tries to crush us. He tries to throw us into utter despair. He is trying to destroy us. He is a thief, doing anything he can to rob us of our peace and confidence, to attempt to bully us out of our calling, out of hope itself.

But, here comes JESUS…

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

Jesus is the LIFE-bringer. The enemy wants to take life out! (The good news is: JESUS WINS!)

The Bible acknowledges the reality of darkness in this world, where the enemy is wreaking havoc. The Bible describes the enemy as a lion, attempting to feast on our minds in a war for our souls. After all, he has already lost eternity because Jesus conquered death and made a way back to the Father for us!! So he is doing all he can to dim our light.

But never forget this:

“When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him” (Isaiah 59:19)!

GOD IS STRONGER! He WINS!

We are given the very Spirit of God to dwell within us when we invite Jesus to be the Lord of our life, and this gives us POWER! Never forget this!

Yet, as we operate in this life, we must have COURAGE to stand up in the face of opposition and SPEAK TRUTH – the truth of the Word of God – even if it starts in the voice of a quiver. Speaking the name of Jesus is the power itself!

In 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, it says,

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

You might be pressed.
You may be perplexed.
You might be persecuted.
You may even be struck down.

But, you are NOT crushed.
You are not in despair.
You are abandoned.
And you certainly are NOT destroyed!

Father God is POWERFUL, and He is with you, in you, and for you! He has created you in HIS powerful image! So you ARE strong!

The situations and circumstances that the enemy has been throwing your way will be redeemed by God. I am believing and speaking that. Speak it too!

“It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.’ Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.

“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart!” (2 Corinthians 4:13-16).

Have COURAGE, speak the WORD, and do not lose heart!

The enemy has worked on overtime lately trying to distract and bully me to shut me up. I have been learning that I need to put a better guard on my heart and what I allow in my head, but I will not muzzle my mouth from sharing the message God has given me to share — the Word of God.

NOPE! Not giving in. This is a spiritual battle, and I am not losing, because I have JESUS and the the TRUTH of God’s Word!

We must remember, in battle, you don’t dance or “respond.” You charge ahead!

We, as Christians, put on the armor of God with a spirit of true righteousness that comes from total submission to the Kingship of Jesus! [Learn about the Armor of God in Ephesians 6:10-18.]

Submit your situation to Jesus! God will redeem your situation and use it for your advancement and growth. I receive that too!

He is the good in our life. He, in fact, is synonymous with Good. He is unable to act outside His character, and His very nature is GOODness. He is synonymous with Love.

So, get mad at the devil. Do not let him win. Do not roll over. Do not shut up. Speak Jesus. And receive His power. Clothe yourself in the courage we have in Him, and KEEP GOING!

Are You Stewarding Your Gifts Well?

God has given each of us different gifts. When you hear that, what do you think?

“For sure! I am good at this but not at that… Please don’t ask me to do that!”
“Wow! It is so cool how God wires us differently and brings us together to be effective!”
“That is just a backdoor way of letting me down, saying I’m not capable in a certain area.”

More times than I can count, I have been thrown into situations, relationships, and positions that are just not me. From one angle, I can see why they may have thought that. Yet, when push comes to shove, I am not that person, I am not comfortable in that situation, and not only will I be unhappy, I will be stressed to the max.

Perhaps they thought I would be a good endorser or representative for their cause or brand, but I did not align. Perhaps they thought I would excel in that particular professional position, but aspects of that position would choke me. Perhaps it was a relationship in which they thought I was capable of fulfilling something I was not.

Has this ever happened to you? I am sure it has, where you have been pushed to be something you are not or pulled on to provide something you cannot. You felt the tension in that gap – stress from that expectation. And, how did you handle it?

When you love people and strive to be open to the thoughts of others, this internal tension can be incredibly confusing: “Why does that image or expectation of me not feel good? Why does it not align with who I feel I am? Why do I feel anxious, even angry?”

When I was younger, I would attempt to step into expectations created for me – socially and professionally – to see if the pressures being applied were something I should rise into. I would wonder, Is that something I should push myself to do, or is this inner turmoil something to heed?

More often than not, I would lean into – instead of away from – that pressure with a “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality to not let them down. Yet, in doing so, I ended up faking it into hot water, in over my head, or fulfilling their need while depleting myself into depression. I have since learned to say, “no.” I have also had to train myself to lay boundaries when the pressure is notched up.

The older I get and the more I have come to know myself – to know the way God has wired me – I have come to appreciate what I am good at and what I am not. And, those things I am good at – gifts God has given me – I have learned to take more seriously. I have recognized that these are gifts God has entrusted me to steward, and I must protect them. Likewise, I have learned that, when I give into external pressures, doing things that are not me, not only do I become unsettled, I become a poor steward of my gifts because I have starved my gifts by feeding distractions.

So, there it is – I feel safety, clarity, and fulfillment knowing the Lord has given me certain gifts and not others, so I can say “no” when asked to do those other things. It makes things clear for me. [And I usually recommend someone else who is good at those things with my “no.”]

But then, because our resources are limited – especially the resource of time – there is more yet to consider like, where do I share these gifts – my talents and time? And where do I not?

Life runs pretty fast. Requests and expectations are thrown at us with applied pressure every, single day. This is where personal mission comes in. We must seek the Lord in prayer and time in the Word to ask why He has given us these gifts and where we can best honor Him by using them.

With limited resources of time, energy, and finances, we want to be sure we know (or remember):

What are my gifts? (And what are perceived gifts that I am not called to steward.)
Where am I called to share these gifts? (And where am I not called to share these gifts?)

Then get really clear on how you will respond when pressure is applied in order to guard and guide your gifts and resources to make sure you are used by God, living out your calling, and stewarding your gifts well.

One thing I have noticed over time is that, when we are running fast for a long time with a lot of requests and external pressures, it is important to get a tune up – a reminder of what our gifts truly are so we can lean into them, sharpen them, and wisely direct them.

Likewise, when we are reminded of who we are, we are reminded of who we are not. And this makes it so much easier for us to stop and say a firm “Yes” or a firm “No,” that we can feel good about.

If you resonate with this, I encourage you to do a couple of things that I have done (and am continuing to do):

1. Take a test like the CliftonStrengths 34, which shows you your top 5 – 10 strengths (and also shows what is at the bottom of your strengths). [I do this every few years.]

2. Take time to review those results in order to recognize (or remember) and then lean into your gifts, and to give yourself permission to quit exerting your energy to trying to shore up your weaknesses.

3. Decide how this changes your daily life – what do you need to begin saying “no” to in order to say “yes” to using the gifts God has given you? And who are you called to apply these gifts towards?

4. Practice saying, “No.” This may mean coming up with one or two lines that honor the requester but lay a firm boundary. [Consider other resources to recommend of people/groups who are experts in the area they are asking you to fill.]

5. Then, focus! Don’t continue saying “no” to the same thing. Once you graciously said it, it’s time for you to move on to your yeses and allow others to manage their own emotions.

At the end of the day, the Lord will call us to account for the gifts He has given us to steward. And, in order to live out the calling God has placed on our lives, we must be responsible to stay awake and alert to reserve our “yes”es for Him and be ready to say, “no,” to distractions.

Guard Your Flame

If you have read my writing for a while, you know I have spent years learning about and sharing on the importance of boundaries. Today, I want to share one of the reasons boundaries are so important, especially as it relates to living out your God-given calling.

Most of us grew up singing (or have heard) the song, “This little light of mine,” written in the 1920s. It originated from Matthew 5:14-16 and has now been taught and sung by children for over a century. The chorus goes like this:

“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine; Oh, this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.” Many recall the second verse, which says, “Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m going to let it shine.” I want to focus on the third verse, which says, “Don’t let Satan blow it out! I’m gonna let it shine.”

Since being tiny kids, we were taught these important lessons:
1. We are called by God to be light.
2. We need to guard that light.

The foe wants to put our light out any way he can. As life goes on, we very really see how the enemy sends gusting winds to try to blow out our light. We see how he sends in oppressive darkness to try and overwhelm it.

Thankfully, we as Christians know that “a light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). Yet, if we begin to care more about what other people think than what God tells us to do, we will unplug from our light source and can easily be snuffed out.

This is where boundaries come into the picture: One of the ways the enemy works to put our light out is by smothering it.

In Ephesians 6:12, the Bible tells us that the war we sense all around us is a spiritual battle. It says that we war not against flesh and blood but against rulers and principalities. Yet, the enemy can use people as a tool in an attempt to smother us to try to take our light.

Here’s why: When we shine the light of Christ, the enemy is threatened. He will do anything to make your light fade — anything to minimize, even eliminate, your effectiveness. One tactic I have seen him use is sending people into our life to smother us. And when we get smothered, we get overwhelmed. It is a physiological response.

And when we get overwhelmed, we get distracted from our calling, applying our full focus there, striving to find clarity in confusion, just to find breath again. This is why it is so important to be on to the enemy’s schemes and to both know and firmly maintain clear boundaries — to protect our peace and protect our calling.

Through years of experience and taking steps to gain strength through the Word of God, guidance from the Holy Spirit, healing in counseling, and knowledge from authors like Dr. Henry Cloud, here is what I have learned:

When people become comfortable blowing past your boundaries, you need to create distance. That is not to say we are not gracious as we set boundaries with people, as there is some understanding that must first be set. Yet, when I see a trend of someone overstepping my boundaries time and again, I become aware of the enemy’s schemes as well as their comfort with it.

If you have been in this situation – this smothering – you are aware of the darkness that attempts to set in and rob you of your time, your peace, and your own free will. That is not the Spirit of God. Jesus Himself gives us a choice to receive Him, because of His true love for us, and He is God!

When people blow past your boundaries, pay attention to that. When they attempt to force themself and their motivations onto you in a way that wastes your time, robs you of your peace, and distracts you from your calling, pay attention to that! If you bring it to their attention, they receive your boundaries and adapt, that is awesome! That happens in relationships. If you bring it to their attention and they do not, there is your answer. Waste no more time or emotion. Ask the Lord to take care of them, and continue forward with your God-given calling.

After all, you are called by God to steward the resources He has gifted you of time and focus. How you choose to use that is between you and God. We are accountable to God. Someone who attempts to slide into the place of God in your life is a counterfeit that does not belong.

It is imperative we are aware of the enemy’s schemes here and that we work to stay away from that darkness — that we protect our light. Because the Bible tells us to have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather to expose it (Ephesians 5:11). And there is no playing around here. There is no dipping your toe in to stay “good” with people, whose actions are attempting to snuff out your light, without you being affected by the dark. We must guard ourselves in order to walk in and remain in the light of Christ. That means moving on from some relationships.

Go into this ready that the enemy will try to then heap guilt on you in the form of sentimentality and loyalty. The foe will attempt to warp your sense of reality around that relationship as you look back to make you feel guilty, get sucked back in, and get distracted, and trapped, to get off of your calling. Don’t. Stand firm, rooted in the Lord.

I say this, because I have also learned about our own weakness in this process: In many cases, it is our own pride that keeps us in toxic relationships. We do not want to be unliked. We do not want to skew their perception of us. We do not want our reputation tarnished by not living up to others expectations of us. Yet, that pride and fear can throw us completely off course from the life God has called us to.

Do what is needed to stay in the light. Say the hard thing. Create your distance. Hold firm to your boundaries. And do not take responsibility for the emotions of others that do not belong to you. Pray for them, and release it. Their problems are not your problems, and they are above your “pay grade.” Bring them to the Lord, leave them there, and then continue on your path.

We must look to God only – Father, Son & Holy Spirit. When we do, He will remove us from unhealthy relationships and place us in healthy, fruit-producing relationships. He will give us the steps to love people well — not overly, not under — love without compulsion.

Learn to listen for and obey the Lord when He tells you to keep on walking. It may not make sense to you at the time, and it may even make you “look bad” to those who don’t understand. But this is where we choose to trust and obey God, who will always keep us on course inside His will when we look to Him.

On my journey towards laying and maintaining my boundaries, I have also learned this: It is hugely important to have the right people around you in order to live out the plans and purposes God has for your life. The kind of people I am describing are those who respect the boundaries you lay, because they genuinely care about and respect you and want to see you succeed.

Guard your heart, even your circle. Find the people who submit to God and respect the boundaries you lay. Do the same for others. And keep on shining!

Receiving Jesus as your Savior

“Thomas said to [Jesus], ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him” (John 14:5-7).

We all want to know where we are going when, one day, our earthly bodies fail us. We know we are finite. And none of us can deny we have failed — sinned. We know our own failings greater than anyone. We all, at some point, feel lost.

The GOOD NEWS is that we are not groping around in the dark for the answer — for the path.

JESUS. He is THE way. Jesus is the answer. There is simply no other way back to the Father, to eternal life — to the life God designed us to have. There is no other way but Jesus.

Thankfully, Jesus loved us so much so that He freely gave His innocent life – in the most gruesome death – to pave the way for us back to the Father, back to Himself (as God) to spend eternity with Him.

Do you know Him? He is not some far off entity. He is near. He is one sentence away. Call out to Him. Say His name, “Jesus.” He desires a relationship with you.

The Bible says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved” (Romans 10:9-10).

It doesn’t matter where you are, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done. You are never too far gone to receive Jesus as your Savior. And, when you do, you can have full assurance of where you are headed at the end of this earthly life.

And, oh, how freeing and peace-giving it is to have the assurance of eternity with Him!

If you have never asked Jesus to come into your life, but you are ready to ask Him to be your Savior, I invite you to pray this prayer today:

Dear Jesus,

I need you. I need your help and your healing in my life. I invite you into my life to be my Lord and Savior.

I repent for my sin — for the things I have done that have separated me from you. I repent for trying to make myself, others, and things gods in my life. I confess that you, Jesus, are the only way, the truth, and the life.

I receive your free gift of salvation today. Please remove my sin from me and make me a new person. Please forgive me. Please heal me and show me the way to walk.

In your name I pray, Jesus, Amen.

If you just prayed this prayer, congratulations! You just made the biggest and best choice of your life — one that will impact you for eternity!

I want to encourage you to download the YouVersion Bible App to your phone to hop into the Word of God, God’s love letter to us, where He speaks directly to us on every area of life! Start in the New Testament, in the book of John, and read through the Gospels. You will be encouraged and nourished through the words of Jesus Himself!

And, if you are a woman who would like to walk alongside other women through Bible Study, I encourage you to invite me at The Rooted Sisters online or in-person, where we meet for Bible Study the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month at 7:30 am central and for Prayer every Friday morning online at 7:30 am.

Sending you the love of Jesus! – Sarah Guldalian