surrender – Sarah Guldalian

Beyond the Brand: Faithfulness over Fame

So many things are vying for our attention, serving as a distraction from the main thing — the greatest commandment— to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”(Jesus; Matthew 22:37-39).

Last night I had the opportunity to talk about the importance of faithfulness over fame with my friend, Tricia Bartig, on her and Jayne Patton’s show, Unshakeable Hope with Tricia & Jayne.

Of course the time flew by, but as the evening marched on, I couldn’t help but continue to think on this topic. And, as I woke up this morning, this image came to mind:

Like a Barbie isn’t human, fame isn’t natural. It’s plastic. It’s processed — made by man. A Barbie doesn’t have a real heart. It doesn’t have a real soul. It’s not really a human. It’s counterfeit.

Somewhere along the way, we have allowed ourselves to envy dolls with fake mansions and plastic cars, with fake boyfriends and phony friends. We manufacturer our own lives with brands and images, fashioned by humans in exchange for real life formed by a real eternal God.

We humans are not self-made. As much as we would like to be so and say so at moments, we were actually made at conception — not at our personal favorite moment of success. We are in a dangerous position, walking a ledge, when we have created our own reality.

If you trade yourself in for a counterfeit version of yourself, don’t be surprised if you feel like you have lost your very soul in the process. In fact, it’s a very real possibility.

When all the spending, nipping & tucking, and image-projecting is done, we are still human, sitting alone at some juncture, pondering life and eternity, because what we have become as a society is not natural, and our very souls know it. This is not a game. It’s real life. Until we look at the motives of our hearts, we will not be able to change.

Where is this all coming from? What are we doing it all for? What is the motivation? It all starts with the heart. So, what is going on in our hearts? Why do we, as humans, seek this type of attention?

I have a few thoughts on why…

• For validation, to quill insecurities and to feed our egos

• From fomo (fear of missing out) – to receive the invites that make us feel like someone

• For influence, power or leverage — to call the shots in our lives and others, to feel elevated

Yet, too often, instead of looking at the motives of our hearts, we tilt our reasoning — we put a spin on it — to rationalize why our personal fame helps others.

My true question is: What good does one’s fame do for others? How can you, becoming an idol, guard your soul and help the souls of others? I argue that it cannot.

And, here’s why: We are called to make JESUS known, not ourselves known. You becoming an idol is inviting people into idolatry. But the very first commandment in the 10 Commandments says, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2-3).

As followers of CHRIST, WE should not be the object of other affections, of others worship. It is unholy to put ourselves on a pedestal. The higher we climb in our own will and own strength, the further and harder we will fall. I speak as someone who has been disciplined by my loving Heavenly Father because of my own sinful pride. He cares too much about us to let us walk the ledge. That is why it is so important that we slow down and truly listen for His voice.

Our Heavenly Father loves us — truly loves us — and cares so deeply about our souls. He wants us spiritually well for our eternity. He also wants us to live abundantly here on earth, which includes showing us the way to have healthy relationships. And that starts with being the person He created us to be with our identity rooted in Him, our true source of love.

When we become “famous” for a self-made construct, we are never truly known by others. In fact, we become leveraged for what we can do for others — used, pressured by demands, tracked for favors. Success according to the world actually puts a constant spot light on you that is unhealthy. It is like becoming a consumable product. People want and expect things from us that we cannot give and do not owe them with no good reason.

You may know Andre3000 from the band Outkast. He was once dubbed as one of the 100 most famous and influential people in the world. In an interview, when asked about his notoriety, he said, “Being famous sucks, because it feels unnatural, dehumanizing, and detrimental to mental health, altering how one moves and thinks.” From the outside looking in, millions wished they could have his life, but here he shares about feeling trapped by it.

Ultimately, we are not to be idolized. We are not God. We are incapable of meeting the needs of others. GOD IS THE SOURCE OF ALL FULFILLMENT– not me, not you, not them.

And the Lord knows this. He knows this is not His design. He knows the weight of the pressure that comes with this sin that so easily entraps us, and He wants us to be FREE. He wants us to introduce others to HIM as the source of fulfillment.

We are not God! We need to step back. He also wants each of us to be free, living from a place of Godly peace and love that shows us how to freely and joyfully give, not confined by pressures of this world.

This is why it is imperative that we repent for our selfishness, vanity, and pride (if we have found ourselves in this situation), and that we move out of the childish way of thinking of “What do I want?” to “What does GOD want for my life… and for theirs?” Make HIM known, not make ME known.

We as believers are called to SUBMIT and DELIGHT:

“Submit yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you when the time is come” (1 Peter 5:6).

And, “Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart” (Psalms 37:4).

When we submit to Him and delight in Him, He begins to heal our hearts, change our hearts, and purify our desires to be in alignment with His will. And, when He has done that healing work — disciplining those He loves (us) — and we humble ourselves, we can become worthy vessels of Him in this world who can leave a lasting, healthy, God-glorifying impact on this earth.

Finding Your Way Back to You

Life is a gift. Your life is a gift. It’s a gift to you from God, and it’s a gift from God to others. He created you and wired you with unique gifts and a distinct personality. He has put you in certain situations to help you develop characteristics, likes, and culture for you to enjoy and to connect you with other people who need Jesus in those cultures.

He also just plain delights in you. God delights in you. He just enjoys you for who you are — like I simply enjoy my kids when they tell me something funny or unintentionally make a facial expression I find to be so cute. They are just being. They’re just being cute. God just delights in you because you’re His kid.

God delighted in the idea of you when He planned you. You have always been planned. Your first day and your last day on this earth were planned. The moment you were conceived in your mother’s womb was your first day, and He’s been doing amazing feats since then.

You are unique, and you are wonderful the way you are. Yes, the world has impacted you and tried to take away the beauty of who you are, but God has even created a way to get you back to who you were made to be — someone who is spotless and without shame because of what Jesus did — to get you back to who you are and who He created you to be.

And so, be you. Be that person — the way God created you to be.

You walk through days, cultures, situations and pressures that do not honor who you are or how you are and in those moments. Without even our knowing, we sometimes adapt too far to fit into that culture, that situation, that group, and we find ourselves surprised one day that we do not feel like our true selves. We do not feel like ourselves. We feel lost, muddy, and confused. But we don’t have to stay there. We can go back to who we really are.

It takes work. It takes focus. It takes “yes” to the right thing and “no” to the wrong things. It takes courage to be who God created you to be, especially when it goes against the grain of the culture you’re in. But you don’t want to just adapt, to become what everybody else wants you to become.

You don’t want to be a chameleon that fits into every situation. You won’t feel okay, because you aren’t being truthful. You aren’t being truthful in who you really are, and you are not standing up for who you really are. It’s important to do that. There are ways to do that, to be gracious and to say, “I think I’m going to pass on that opportunity,” knowing you want to bypass on that pressure. You can say, “I’m busy today,” or, “That doesn’t really fit into my 5-year plan.”

It is also OK to realize that you’ve gotten into the wrong situation, and it’s time to change. It’s time to find your way back to who you are and how God made you, because after all, we won’t feel peace, we won’t feel fulfilled, until we are living in the fullness of who God wired us and created us to be.

So, do the work. Do the work it takes to be you, to allow yourself to be you. Say the “yes”es and say the “no”s. Make the moves that you need to make to fully live in the calling that God has given you. It’s worth the work.

What is an example? An example might be that you’re trying to fit into a certain role or a certain group. You’re trying to talk the way they talk. You’re trying to look the way they look, behave the way they behave, but you feel like you have sold yourself out. And that’s not okay.

You spend more time with you than anyone else, and it’s important to be who you are, to enjoy who you are, to enjoy who God made you to be, and not to change yourself to be someone that you are not to be accepted by people that you weren’t called to walk with.

So I just wanted to encourage you (and myself) today to fully be who God created you to be. Make the changes it takes to do that. Then, you can be fully known by other people and feel fully loved when they love you.

You’ll laugh more. You’ll feel more fulfilled in the work that you’re doing. You’ll enjoy yourself more in your “yes”es and feel less guilty in your “no”s as you move ahead. And, like I said, life is a gift, and you will enjoy your life so much more, which will show as you experience joy and shine brightly.

Forgiveness: Surrender & Heal

Forgiveness. It is a hard topic. Your stomach may be churning just seeing the word.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to speak about forgiveness at a women’s conference. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the attack I felt leading up to it. After all, the last thing the enemy wanted was for 100 women to experience spiritual breakthrough. Yet, Jesus always wins, because greater is HE that is in us than he that is in the world.

Forgiveness is paramount to restoration — to freedom. If you have been locked in the hurt, pain – even torment – of unforgiveness, the Lord wants you free. When we surrender to Jesus, we can forgive, and we can experience newness of life. I want to share this message with you in hopes that you too will begin to experience breakthrough from forgiveness.

Forgiveness is spiritually sacred.
It is the reason Jesus came to earth.
Forgiveness was the rescue plan.

But the enemy does not want you free. He wants you in bondage. So he works and works to keep you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally chained to a person who hurt you. Why? Because, if he can keep you trapped in unforgiveness, you will waste time and energy – maybe even your whole life – thinking, stewing, and worrying about that person who hurt you more than you fix your eyes on God. Doing so can keep you from your entire call here on earth — to love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22).

Forgiving is one of the most necessary verbs or actions in life. It is not optional.

Why? The moment each of us was born into this world, we became subjected to the fall. We became sinners. No exclusions. We began to hurt people and to be hurt by people. The Bible says, “There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

There is literally no way around being hurt. And therefore, there is no getting around forgiveness. Even if you try to avoid people most of the time, there is still YOU. You hurt God, and you hurt yourself. (So do I.)

There are no innocent sins. There is always collateral-damage with sin. Sin is not God’s design. It separates us from Him.

When we sin, shame sets in – a weight we were never designed to carry. It makes us hide – from the light, from others, even from ourselves. Think about Adam and Eve in the Garden: Up until the point they ate the forbidden fruit, they had been communing with God daily. Yet, when they sinned, they became ashamed, and they hid from Him.

We are ashamed of the choices we have made that have hurt us and hurt others. We feel the weight of our sin — There is a price to pay for sin. Romans 6:1 says, “For the wages of sin is death, BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Our response to feeling that weight of sin might be shame. Or, it might be to protect our own ego and our reputation at all costs. When we take this route, we conceal, deny, or bargain away our sin. (“It’s not that bad — it’s not as bad as what they did to me.”) That can deeply hurt others. And, it can lead to self-loathing, because we know it is wrong.

Because the Lord’s desire for us is to be free of shame and commune with Him again, He tells us to confess our sins to Him: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). When we confess our sins, He takes them, removes them from us, and casts them away.

He is the one who can purify us – the only one who can purify us. We can’t fix ourselves. Our “goodness” is like filthy rags. That is why Jesus came to make a way for us back to the Father. He stepped in, because of His great love for us.

Romans 3:24 – 25 says, “And all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate HIS righteousness.”

We are forgiven. Praise God! And yet, it is crucial that we note this: It is not because WE are righteous – even us church ladies. It is because GOD is righteous, and it is by HIS grace that WE are forgiven.

Forgiveness is at the very epicenter of Kingdom living demonstrated by God Himself, lived out through Christ. It is available to us, and it is to be available through us, because of the Spirit of God living in us. Therefore, it is crucial, even mandatory, that we learn to forgive and learn to apologize, because none of us is perfect or without sin.

As followers of Christ, called to humility, we should become quick to repent and quick to apologize – to God and to others. Equally, we must learn to forgive. The more quickly we can forgive, the healthier we and our relationships will be. Both are necessary, because these are acts of obedience as we follow in Christ’s steps by imitating Him in forgiveness.

And He knows that we simply cannot bear the weight of carrying all of those burdens around. Walking around with unforgiveness is like walking through mud. We can barely make it through a day. Yet, we are called to do more than just survive a day. We are called to thrive, so we must forgive!

When we hear the term “forgive,” our minds usually go to the face of another person who has hurt us most. However, the truth that we often suppress, but carry with us, is unforgiveness towards ourselves. We must learn most of all to forgive ourselves.

Once we take our shame to the Lord, confess our sin, and ask Him to heal us, we are washed in His love and overwhelmed by the goodness of His forgiveness. His grace and mercy help us learn to have grace with ourselves.

We begin to gain confidence from Christ instead of our own goodness. When we grow confident in His love, we are able to show ourselves grace. And when we learn to show ourselves grace, we live with greater honesty, because we recognize that our wellbeing does not hinge on us being right. We recognize that we needed forgiveness, that God gave it to us, and we can freely extend it to others like Christ.

My desire for myself and for you is that we live FREE. Yet, we cannot live free when we are walking in unforgiveness towards ourselves or others. So, let’s talk about “others.”

Let’s talk about the pain that has come from people who do not acknowledge their sin – their trespasses – against us and may never acknowledge or apologize for the hurt they have caused. I have had a lot of talks with God about this – a lot of questions. These may be some of the questions you have had too:

– Am I called to forgive them… even if they aren’t sorry?
– Am I called to forgive them… even if they continue to trespass against me?
– Or, am I absolved for my unforgiveness because of their behaviors?

Then, looking inward, I have asked myself:
– If this person continues in this behavior, or they never apologize for something so hurtful, WILL I ever really be able to forgive, even as much as I try?

The answer is, YES: We are called to forgive.
And, NO: We are not absolved in our unforgiveness.

Why? Because we are submitting to the LORD when we forgive. We are surrendering to HIM by obeying Him. We are called to forgive by the One seated on the throne of our lives — Jesus Christ.

In the Prayer Jesus taught His disciples (us) to pray from Matthew 6, He says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I will admit, that has been a hard one for me over the years: I will be forgiven in the same measure I give forgiveness?

Like you, a face often pops into my mind when I hear the word “forgive.” When this person comes to mind, sometimes my stomach still hurts. Sometimes I start to feel fearful. Sometimes I start to feel angry. And I have asked the Lord all the questions I mentioned above.

For a long time I held out hope that this person would care about and acknowledge the hurt they caused. Yet, once it became beyond clear that they did not and would not, I realized reconciliation was not possible, and I finally closed the door. At times, though, I will admit, it has caused me to ask the Lord, “Does this closed door mean that I have not forgiven?” In fact, this very topic – the topic of forgiveness – is a hard one for me personally.

1 Corinthians 11:28 says, “Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup.” So, before I take Communion, I ask the Lord, “Have I forgiven?”

I have a sweet friend who I meet with weekly for encouragement and accountability. One day I asked her, “Do you think I have forgiven?” She is a very thoughtful, deep person. She paused and said, “Yes, I believe you have. It is not a one and done. You have to continually bring it to the alter, and I believe you have.”

Her words reminded me that forgiveness is a daily choice.

Some relationships or situations will never come with an apology, but it is pertinent we forgive in order to heal. So, how do we do that? We fully surrender to the Lord.

When we feel those nerves – that hurt and anger – we surrender it to the Lord in each moment. We ask Him to take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. When we continue to go to the throne room when we feel that hurt, that rejection, we bring it to Him. What do we do from there?

The question some of you might be asking is, Does forgiveness equal reconciliation?

Dear friends of mine, Lenny and Jennie Barber, pastor a church in Ferguson (St. Louis), called The House. Lenny recently began a new series called, “Golgotha,” leading up to Resurrection Sunday, addressing the real price Jesus paid for us on the cross on Good Friday. The first week of his series was on Forgiveness.

What Lenny said really helped me on this very topic in a timely way: He shared that Jesus, knowing what would soon happen to Him – knowing He would endure unbelievable torture and be put to death – and knowing WHAT He would be called to forgive, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Then, he shared this: Forgiveness is made available to everyone. (Period.) YET, that does not mean they are reconciled. Forgiveness requires one side. Reconciliation requires two. Jesus died once for all. Reconciliation was only for those who repented. That really helped me. And that might help you too.

While we are not called to reconcile with everyone – because we cannot control them or their choice – we are called to forgive.

What else does Jesus tell us to do to those who have hurt us? He tells us to pray for those who have persecuted you and spitefully used you. Can you pray for them?

I will admit, I am a work in progress. It has, at times, been hard for me to know what to even pray for a person who has hurt me so badly. I just can’t find the actual words to say many times. Yet, my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing to me. He is my Savior and Lord. So, I want to obey Him.

When I start to freeze, and I cannot find the words to pray for a person who has persecuted me or spitefully used me, I have found this to be helpful: I begin to just pray blessings over their family. That is very easy for me to do. I want them to be well.

Lastly, I want to share a beautiful story — the story of a time I received an apology from someone whom I least expected it:

Years ago, I worked with someone I really liked, but it was clear the feeling was not mutual. It was a confusing situation for me, because we were always part of important work and close-knit teams, and we never had a falling out. Yet, there was palpable tension and, what seemed like, active opposition to my projects. After many years of working together, I left but it still baffled me. I had never figured it out.

Seven years and two jobs later, I was in my office, when I received an email from this person. We had not kept up at all, and so I knew it took effort on her part to find my work email. What it said brought me so much healing.

Ultimately, she shared a bit about the season she had been walking through personally and confessed that, although I did not have anything to do with that, she had taken out some of her hurt on me. She shared that the Lord had since done a healing work in her heart, and she wanted to apologize to me for how she had treated me.

Honestly, it blew my mind. Not only did it bring clarity and healing in this situation, but God used this apology to bring about healing in me beyond what was needed in that situation.

Yes, this person hurt my feelings. But what she didn’t know was how much I had gone through since then (unrelated to her). Through the hurtful experiences I had since walked through, I had begun to believe I did not matter and my feelings did not matter to others. Yet, her response to the Holy Spirit convicting her, and going out of her way to find me to take accountability for her actions and apologizing, it actually brought me healing beyond her words.

The Lord used her to show me I was worth the effort of others, that I was worthy of dignity. He also used her as an example to me of how to apologize and take accountability for my actions and behaviors towards others. And then, it created a bond of love between us as sisters in the Lord that hadn’t been there all those years before. What a blessing. We still message each other to encourage each other to this day. That was a gift in my life.

When we confess and apologize…
When we surrender and release…
When we forgive and leave it with Jesus…
We heal.

When we invite Jesus Christ, the light of the world, to flood us with His light, He shines in every area of our hearts, souls, and minds. He overcomes the darkness. And light heals. He heals us.

No longer are we dry and dying in the wilderness of our own sin…
Not only do we survive, but we thrive. We become abundant, full of love. And this love can spill out on others. We are free, and we are effective.

The Bible says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

When we allow the Lord to renew us – to renew our hearts and our minds – we look different. The love, the healing, and the freedom of Christ changes us. And, when He does, our thought-patterns change. We become different. We act different. We become wiser, full of grace and love. We become a joy to spend time with. We even enjoy our time alone more.

Renewed thinking might look like this: When we get tempted to judge someone else, to put on pride and to become “Church lady,” the Lord reminds us of what He has done for us, and we learn to apologize quickly.

We learn to take prideful thoughts and cast them away. “We break down every thought and proud thing that puts itself up against the wisdom of God. We take hold of every thought and make it obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). We ask the Lord to replace our pride and sin with His grace and love that He has shown us.

When we mess up, we repent quickly to the Lord, and we apologize quickly to others. And when we honor God and love others, we live without weight. We bless those around us again, because we are well. We shine the light of Christ into the darkness. And Jesus reigns through our story. We have the victory!

I have created a Forgiveness Worksheet designed to help you spend time with the Lord, asking Him to reveal areas where you need to surrender, and to ask the Holy Spirit to help you take the steps to move forward in your healing. To access this worksheet, click here.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

“But As For Me” Theology

We’re teaching our children not to go the popular route, not to make decisions based on the popular vote or according to a poll of peers. We’re teaching them to think independently — teaching them “But as for me” theology…

“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

“But as for me, I will call upon the Lord, and He will save me” (Psalm 55:16).

“But as for me, I will sing of your power; I will sing joyfully of your unfailing love each morning” (Psalm 59:16),

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me” (Micah 7:7).

Though the world chooses idols, we’re choosing Jesus.

Though it is tempting to put our trust in men, we’re putting our trust in Jesus.

Though it is hard not to give in to depression when reading the headlines, we are delighting in God, because His power is greater.

Though it can be hard not to rush ahead in our own strength out of impatience, we are waiting on the Lord.

What the world says? Nope.
What the Bible says? Yep.

Prayer
Father, Help us as we strive to be more like Jesus day after day. Give us the strength, the encouragement and help us obey. You are our source. We love you, Lord.

Today Matters.

This day – any day – may feel mundane right now. But, one day, our grandchildren and great grandchildren will read history books about our time, and they may even wish they lived in our era to make some kind of difference on the hurting world around us now.

So, let’s not throw a day away by looking at it as inconsequential, especially when we are the central character of our own story – a story that impacts the world around us, sending ripples and waves, in a way that positively affects those around us. We have within us the ability to make a lasting impact through our words, our actions, our attitude and our resources.

My grandma told me that, during WW2, she went door to door with her wagon to collect metal to help support her country. She was 11. She did what she could do to help, even as a kid, which she carried into her adult life as a pillar of her community. She was an amazing example to me of how to positively affect the world around you.

Psalm 139 talks about the value of your life. It says every day was ordained before even one of them came to be. It’s no accident God made you the way you are with the gifts and passions He gave you, in the community He placed you, at this specific time.

We just need to open our hands and ask, “God, Show me your plan for my day. I yield to you. Please give me everything I need to live the life you called me to.”

The Positive Side of Rejection

Here is something beautiful I have learned from something difficult:

When you have gone through a form of rejection, but you turn to God, you come to learn that, no matter how people see you or respond to you, you will always be good, as long as you go to God.

So, instead of living your life – your calling – with reservation, you live it with boldness, knowing that – whether they reject you or not – you are going to be good as long as the Lord is behind it, and that — holding back out of self-consciousness can cause you to lose far more than rejection can.

So, next time you feel led to do something by the Lord — something bolder than you naturally feel comfortable with — move ahead confidently in that, knowing that the worst outcome of putting yourself on the line is rejection, but the best possible outcome is obeying God and fulfilling your calling.

And, when you are willing to get out of your way to go God’s way, there is absolutely no telling the supernatural, unexpected fruit and blessing that can result.

A practical example?

You feel led to share about Jesus with a friend (or even stranger), but you are afraid to because they might think you’re weird or reject you?

Remember that you are making it about you when really it is about obeying God and loving them.

The worst outcome is they shy away from you, but the best outcome is that they receive Jesus, experience healing and joy in their life, and spend eternity with God!

We really have to love people more than we hate the idea of being embarrassed.

Humility

When we feel the need to defend ourselves, we puff up like a puffer fish — quills out. But when we learn – really learn and trust — that God is our protector and our vindicator, we can release that pressure, because we are confident that He will work everything out on our behalf. He always does, even when it means rerouting the difficult into something beautiful. (He gives us beauty for ashes.)

When we make Jesus the Lord of our life, we can release our attachments, our pain, and our fear to Him. We are then freed up to focus on doing our part — what He has called us to do as His disciples — love others and shine the light of Christ in the world around us.

For a while, I had to overcome a tendency to become defensive. I had been blamed for some things I had not done, and so I reacted with defensiveness out of fear. I somehow believed that the right outcome depended on the sharpness of my tiny quills. But, somewhere along the way, all of that pressure built up, I got exhausted, got to the end of myself and had to surrender to the Lord — asking Him to work, to have His way, because it was all too much. And, guess what? He worked. He made the tragic into something beautiful. And I saw that He defends and advances me more than I ever could.

I learned that, in my hurt and rejection, I had built up pride as a protection. But after a while, I began to see that this prideful protection was actually protecting me from the good, not just the bad — pride was blocking me from peace and blessing. Ultimately, I learned that surrender is the beginning of God’s amazing work that frees me up to just love and shine.

I admittedly work hard. Hard work is a beautiful attribute I learned from my parents, but I have learned there can be too much of a good thing. There is a tipping point — it’s the law of diminishing returns, because sometimes I begin to get tired doing too many things, and I can sense a temptation to get defensive again. But I also remember, in that moment (usually!), what the Lord has taught me: That He has me. I do not need to puff up to defend myself. He is my defense. And, honestly, sometimes that perceived threat was birthed from my exhaustion. There is far more good coming at me than negative.

And, here’s the deal: Unless we surrender to the Lord, we will be futile. All of our hard work will be futile. If we have bitterness inside, our fruit might even be toxic, because pride does not produce healthy fruit. It actually kills it. Pride is like a weed that chokes out the healthy things that are growing. And, unless we purge our pride, we will be unusable.

Here are some examples of moments our pride can puff up, planting seeds that can cause destruction in our lives and relationships:

— Comparing ourselves to others, whether it be how we look, our jobs, how much money we have, how many people we know — putting ourselves above or below them.

— Getting frustrated because they didn’t do something the way we would do it.

— Getting offended by things people say that we feel does not give us enough credit or clout.

— Making things about us that are really about someone else.

— Not working with or interactiving with someone we feel the Lord connecting us to because we get competitive, thinking they are too much like us.

— Getting jealous of what others have, thinking we deserve it more than we do.

— Getting sucked into or even generating gossip.

And the list goes on.

We can’t always control the thought that pops into our head, but we can control how long it stays there. When those prideful thoughts pop up, ricochet them before those seeds take root.

God’s Word reminds us that we have a choice. We are called to tear down any thought that opposes the Word of God:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Jesus tells us the greatest commandment He gives us is to love one another. So, if our thoughts are making us prideful, envious, bitter and isolated, you better believe they oppose the Word of God.

He also reminds us, when we begin to feel fear, that fear is not from God:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

By surrendering to the Lord, making Him the Lord of our life, and asking Him to make us more like Him, we stay humble and usable.

I don’t know about you, but I am not okay with forfeiting my calling, blocking blessing, and isolating myself, so I am asking the Lord to forgive me for my pride, my fear, any cowardice, fear of man, or insecurity so I can stay humble before Him and be used by Him.

If you are trusting Him for the same, I invite you to pray this prayer with me :

[Prayer] Dear Heavenly Father, I confess that my pride, insecurity and fear have at times kept me from you and isolated from community. I repent, Lord. I turn away from pride and ask you to remove any impurity from within me that would keep me from loving others and shining your light. I ask you to have your way in my life that I might be a part of your mighty Kingdom work and live a life worthy of the calling I have received, Father. I thank you for your loving kindness that leads me to repentance so that I can be all you created me to be for your glory. And where I have contributed to ashes, I ask you to create beauty. I ask you to help me produce good fruit. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

God Doesn’t Yell.

God doesn’t yell. He whispers.

It is His kindness that leads us to repentance.

If you hear a voice screaming at you – accusing you, chastising you, belittling you – ask God to remove it, because it hasn’t come from Him, and it doesn’t belong.

God would never call you fat and tell you that you don’t deserve to eat. He would show you how precious you are to Him and give you a desire for healthy things.

He wouldn’t blackmail you into a corner of shame. He would shine a light to show you the way out.

He wouldn’t tell you that your life has no meaning. He made you on purpose, with purpose, and has a role for you in His Kingdom.

He wouldn’t tell you that your sins define you, so you should give up. He would encourage you to give it to Him, trade that for hope, and show you a new way.

If you struggle with difficult, accusatory, shame-ridden thoughts, ask God to come into your thoughts and your life and fill that area and bring you healing.

He will, because He wants you well. He wants you whole.

God doesn’t yell. He whispers, because He is safe, because He is loving, because He is Home.

Our Guard & Our Guide

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11).

There is no playing around with or entertaining dark forces. When children and teen movies try to normalize and familiarize our kids with dark rituals, highlighting them and making them light, we are out.

We can’t get used to this just because companies we used to trust are slowly seeping in these messages. How badly do we need to be entertained?

Have you ever watched something and you feel grieved or just gross?

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:22-23)

I thank God for leaving His Holy Spirit here to guard and to guide us. If we can’t find anything on TV or movies that feels right, let’s just shut it off. There’s plenty more to do.

I want to be sensitive to and gain my whole confidence from Jesus. I’m not willing to make allowances just to be relevant and to not been seen as the weird Christian. The stakes are too high. And, when it comes to my kids, I will do my very best to protect them – not just from physical harm but from spiritual harm. Its no laughing matter.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:26)

And God will give us wisdom and courage as we seek Him. We are not weaklings, but we are strong because of Him.

“Jesus summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority and power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness.”

“… And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

“Listen carefully: I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; so be wise as serpents, and innocent as doves.

“So do not be afraid of them, for nothing is hidden that will not be revealed, or kept secret that will not be made known.

“What I say to you in the dark (privately), tell in the light (publicly); and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim from the housetops [to many people].

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; but rather be afraid of Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

“Therefore, the one who confesses and acknowledges Me before men [as Lord and Savior, affirming a state of oneness with Me], that one I will also confess and acknowledge before My Father who is in heaven. But the one who denies and rejects Me before men, that one I will also deny and reject before My Father who is in heaven.”

‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭1‬, ‭7‬-‭8‬, ‭16‬, ‭26‬-‭28‬, ‭32‬-‭33‬)

Only Jesus.

Marketing slogans tell you to believe in yourself, but you are not God and neither am I. We have a very limited view. I learned a long time ago – the hard way – that I am highly fallible even on my best day. If everything depended on me, it would not last long.

Believe in Jesus. You won’t get far without Him. But, WITH Him, you will see supernatural things happen that you never knew were possible!

When we come to understand His great love for us and HIS power available to work in and through us, we will not have a low or a high view of ourselves. We will feel a deep sense of relief and peace, with hearts full of gratitude and enthusiasm for each day, knowing God loves us, He is in control, He never slumbers, He is limitless, and He is ever-present to us. He’s never going to abandon us.

And He is doing GOOD all over the earth every moment of every day! It is absolutely amazing to see! And He includes us in His great mission here on the earth! It blows my mind.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” – Jesus (John 15:5)