I was sitting here thinking about all the people who have helped us along the way… Yet, some of them, we have formed a subtle indignance towards — a parent, teacher, pastor, doctor, trainer, boss, or friend — for doing so.
We have decided to be offended, instead of grateful, for their help… many of them just genuinely supporting us or calling us higher, because they love us, motivated by genuine care and concern.
I wonder how many genuine relationships we shunned because of our sensitivity towards correction.
As I age, I look back at some relationships over the decades – at some people – who I felt offended by or irrirated with because they took a genuine, healthy concern for my well-being.
Out of a desire to control my own life, yet feeling as if they were impeding upon my independence, I shook them off. Yet, later, looking back, I see that they cared more for me than those who agreed with or applauded me at the time in my childish ways.
As I age, it becomes clearer that I wasn’t always right. Like a toddler whose mother knows best yet their will and desire for independence reigns supreme, I shook off wisdom and correction that was for my own good.
Yet, as time marches on, I have come to realize that they were not trying to shut me down. They were genuinely trying to help me — to not waste my time, resources, or give away important things. I realize that there is a lot I didn’t know that they did, and they cared enough to share it.
And, as I age, instead of thinking I know everything, I gain the perspective that I simply don’t know everything and that I didn’t…
I realize that I need to open my hands to thank and hug those who helped, even when I took it as critical. I realize I need to open my heart to hear from Godly people even when its hard. I need to open my hands in generosity. I need to release my pride and receive instruction. I need to open my mind to learn more than I know. Most importantly, I need to open my hands in surrender to the Lord.
Thank you to my parents and to every teacher, pastor, doctor, trainer, boss, or friend who put yourself out there to help make me better from a heart of love and concern. In some cases, it has taken awhile for me to lower my wall and receive it, but I draw from those lessons daily — some bestowed even decades ago.
If we are going to be used by God and effective for Kingdom work — or any work He has called us to — we must get over ourselves and gear up to follow His lead!
“Get Over Yourself!” is a message I shared at the Biblical Business Training (BBT) Community Connection, where a group of Christian business and ministry leaders gather. I shared some of the key “things I’ve learned” over the last eight years, especially as it relates to Christian leadership in business and ministry.
If you are interested in watching the recording, click here. To view the presentation, click here.
“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit” (3 John 1:2).
Our physical health is so important. The Bible tells us our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. We are to steward it with honor. And the Lord wants our bodies to be healthy. He wants us to live abundantly. He wants us to be free.
But some of us are neither healthy in body nor spirit. We have traded caring for our souls – what is inside, what is eternal – with a hyper fixation on our bodies, the temporal. And some of us have confused vanity for health. I know I have.
Vanity is not health. Believe me, I know from experience. In fact, this question I pose today is one I asked myself.
You see, in my 20s, I was super skinny but extremely unhealthy. I drank coffee to be skinny, counted every calorie, and judged myself by each half-pound. If I had eaten the amount of calories I had allotted for myself earlier in the day, I would isolate. I wouldn’t get together with my friends at dinner to avoid eating more calories and being asked questions. And then I called it self-discipline and self-control, when it was actually self-deprivation leading to health issues. I needed the Lord to do a supernatural healing work in my soul to find health again.
Some of us are eating but absorbed in our looks. If it’s not a pound, it’s a fine line or wrinkle. Or we lament not having the budget for the clothes we’d really like. Whether we feel good about or terrible about our looks at any moment, we are hyperfocused on our bodies in a way that takes all of our energy and focus.
But… how is your soul? How is your Spirit? What voice is guiding your actions? The critic — the enemy? A voice of criticism from your past that says “it’s not good enough,” “you’re not good enough,” or “prove yourself?” And, at the end of it, where does being rich, chiseled, or fashionable lead you if you have neglected your soul? Would you finally be full or still empty?
I hope you know I am in no way judging anyone. Frankly, I have had to ask the Lord to give me enough grace for myself over time. This is a struggle. It has been in my life. I have needed to really dig into my Bible and receive Godly counsel to learn to hear the voice of God louder than the accuser in my life.
I share vulnerably in an effort to expose what is hidden into the light so Christ can shine on us. Because, here’s the deal — God wants us free, so much that He sent Jesus to earth to save us from ourselves, our own confusion, depravity, and self-sabotage.
Whereas the Lord gives us a desire for healthy things, the enemy works hard to twist beautiful desires into something dark. He can twist our desire to be healthy into disorder. He can turn our enjoyment of fashion into obsession. He can tilt our desire for good things into fixation. He can take our enjoyment of fashion and make us obsessed and broke.
The enemy would love nothing more than to put us into poverty spiritually, physically, and financially. That is his goal. He fights to keep us away from the abundance that Jesus came and died for us to have.
Yet, all is not lost. Jesus meets us wherever we are. He meets us in our exhaustion, our fatigue, our sickness. He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
What I have learned and continue to learn as I go is this:
Major in Jesus more than self-help, health, or any other thing. Keep your eyes on Jesus above all. Open your Bible. Read it more than any other book. Look to Jesus for your self-worth, not influencers. Tend to your soul more than you do for your body, because our souls are what will last.
Some practical things I have learned, as well, are:
Set the scale aside. Eat and enjoy healthy food. Get outside. Enjoy creation. Exercise. Strengthen yourself.
Talk to a friend if you’re struggling. Get a journal. Get a Christian counselor. Talk to Jesus most.
Thank God for His abundance. Enjoy your health. Enjoy the clothes you have. Quit isolating. Get with friends. Enjoy the goodness God has given you. And eat a cupcake every now and then.
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18).
I feel that romance – real romance – does not come from over-the-top gestures, like gifts, trips, or charisma. But instead, I feel that real romance comes from aging.
I know that may sound counterintuitive to many. In fact, you may believe you have to do everything you possibly can to look the same way as you did when you met, but I feel quite the opposite. As we age, I find my husband more attractive than ever.
It is not because he works out all the time, drives a fancy car, has a certain title, or buys me things. It’s not for any of those commercial reasons, that you see in the cinema or social media, that make him more attractive to me. In fact, it’s just the opposite.
When I look at my husband, and I see the gray in his beard or the handsome lines around his eyes, I find him more attractive than ever before. I truly mean that. And here is why:
Looking at his face, aged from when we set out, means he is still here like he promised he would be. And, to me, there is nothing more romantic than looking at my husband and I aging together, because it shows we are doing what we promised to do in your vows…
“I take you to be my wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
I feel aging is more romantic than any swift, overt gesture someone can show, because – to me – dedication and commitment are the most romantic actions.
And I am so blessed he feels the same, because I feel honored, treasured and loved in every era, which allows me to look in the mirror as I age and smile more with each passing year.
Are you tired of being afraid, of trembling in fear when learning about difficult realities? Tired of diverting your thoughts when you begin pondering injustice? It can be easier to push off an unsettling inkling, telling ourselves we are paranoid in order to convince ourselves the darkness doesn’t exist or it is not quite as dark as it appears.
For example, when we read a story that is true yet unsettling, we might even try convincing ourselves it isn’t real in an attempt to divert our thoughts and comfort our nervous systems. But the truth is, there are terrible things happening in the dark. And just because we don’t want them to be true doesn’t mean they’re not. And, just because we are unsettled doesn’t mean we aren’t to know.
What if we are meant to be unsettled? Some things should break our hearts, whether it is happening as closely as in front of our face or more broadly in our communities. Because, we are called to know for the protection of our families, this next generation, the people we love and steward, and those around us. When we are gifted with knowledge and insight to steward, the question becomes, “What do I do with this, Lord?”
I want to share something I am learning in this season:
My life verse is Matthew 5:14, “You are the light of the world.” Mostly, this beautiful verse reminds me I am an encourager. I have, and many others as well, have often viewed me as a bright, bouncy ball. Yet, the Lord is teaching me this: Light does not simply shine and radiate. Light also exposes. It exposes what has been hiding in the dark. And, when light exposes, it also heals.
Think about a cut on your arm. If you hide it under a dark, moist setting, it will fester. But if you expose it to the sunlight, it will heal.
To help experience true freedom ourselves and to help others find safety and freedom, we must stop and acknowledge unsettling reality, which means we must allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. We must give ourselves permission to be unsettled for a moment.
With Jesus as our Chief Cornerstone, we can do this in a way that leads to healing, not spiraling. We can face difficulty head-on to help the defenseless in practical ways to protect them or even help them on their healing journey. It means we have to be willing to be uncomfortable, even grieved, for a time to see true breakthrough happen and freedom take place.
A very difficult reality that is hard to accept but is true is the exploitation happening to our youth in our communities. I became friends with a powerful, Godly woman this year, who founded a non-profit, called Pursuit 3416. They provide training and education to youth and adults at schools, churches, and other places, to prevent exploitation and stop predators from reaching our youth here in St. Louis.
The name of this organization was inspired by Ezekiel 34:16, which says, “I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.”
If you too feel convicted to understand what is going in the dark in our communities to protect our youth, this is an organization with a Godly cornerstone that can help you as a parent, grandparent, leader and educator.
You can also learn what is happening globally through the powerful work of the Tebow Foundation. The work Tim, Demi, and their teams are doing is beyond what I could fathom. It is hard to even process. Yet the Lord is giving them power to see people set free from darkness.
While it is heartbreaking to learn about these realities, I feel convicted to know so I can be in prayer for them, their teams, and have Godly wisdom on how to educate and protect our youth. The work of these organizations is difficult and heartbreaking but it is beyond life changing.
Prayer Father God, Help us! Help us parents and grandparents be awake to the realities happening around. Give us wisdom, discernment and passion to see the truth and to shine your light with courage and boldness to be like you, Jesus — both the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah! In Jesus’ name, Amen!
If we live our lives without Jesus, we will not be okay. We will not be okay spiritually, mentally, emotionally, even physically. I speak as someone who tested it and found myself in extremely dangerous waters. Jesus saved me.
Think about it — Left to our own devices, we put ourselves first. We are perpetually offended. We do not forgive, leading to bitterness, resentment, and isolation, without community or the support we greatly need as humans. We even make decisions based on paranoid thinking that the enemy tries to convince us is correct JUST to separate us from community.
And unforgiveness takes an emotional and spiritual toll on us. It wreaks havoc on us mentally, psychologically and even physically. It creates bondage that demands freeing in order to carry on. We need a Savior — the one and only. We need Jesus.
Without love at the center of our thoughts, motives, and intentions, we can be downright scary, hurting others and ourselves. Meanwhile, our sin-debt just compounds, and the shame, guilt, and loathing too. This too creates bondage that demands freeing in order to carry on. We need a Savior — the one and only. We need Jesus.
The enemy is strategic, playing a game of chess for your very soul — every move, working to back you in a corner, isolated and locked in a prison.
The Bible says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
The enemy is crafty. He feeds on chaos and death. The Bible calls him a thief. He wants to rob you of peace, joy, health, and effectiveness. He wants to rob you of eternity with Jesus.
But when you invite Jesus into your life, it is check-mate for that prowling lion who seeks to feast on and devour you.
Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
When you repent to God for your sins and ask Jesus into your life, He heals you from the guilt and shame that weighs you down. He literally removes that from you. The Bible says, He blots out your transgressions (Isaiah 43:25). He removes your sins from you as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12). You (we) literally get a fresh start. The Bible says you become a new creation. The old passes away from you and newness comes (2 Corinthians 5:17). You get a new life. I speak as one whose life was completely transformed when I was 21!
When you invite Jesus to be the Lord of your life, He literally fills you with His Holy Spirit that serves as a deposit from now until you go to heaven to be with Him. This is absolutely transformational for your eternity but also for your daily life. The Bible describes the Holy Spirit as our Counselor, a guide, a Comforter, and Advocate. And His counsel leads to peace and healthy relationships.
Jesus said, “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:26-27).
This is why you can pray and receive direction, answers, clarity and peace — because Jesus gives you His Spirit – the Spirit of God – when you invite Him to be the Lord of your life.
You may be reading this today, knowing that you can no longer carry the weight of your shame and guilt, that you can no longer carry the weight of bitterness and self-loathing. And I want to tell you that you no longer have to.
You may also be thinking, though, that it is all too much… that you don’t know how to get from the darkness you are in right now to the lightness of Christ to live a Christian life, but I want to tell you that you do not have to.
You do not have to figure it all out. You don’t need to wait to go to Jesus until you are a little better. The truth is, you simply can’t do it on your own. You can’t fix yourself. You’ve tried.
There is one step you can take to change your life and your eternity: Release. Release it all. Relinquish control. Surrender to God. Ask Jesus become your Savior today.
Jesus IS light, and HE will purify your heart and fill you with His light. And He will send you His Holy Spirit – the Counselor, the guide – who will life the weight and begin to show you practical steps forward.
I know it can sound a little mind-blowing, but it really is true. When you give your life to Christ, something in you becomes new. You become transformed. You just need to release and step out in faith.
“For God says, ‘At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you.’ Indeed, the ‘right time’ is now. Today is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2).
Is today the day? Are you ready to surrender your sin, your shame, your guilt? Are you ready to become a new creation? Are you ready to trust God to show you the way to abundant life?
If so, I invite you to pray this prayer:
“Dear God, I confess that I have sinned. I have made a mess of things. I have gone my own way and messed things up. I no longer want to be my own god. I no longer want to serve myself. Jesus, I want to go your way. I invite you to be the Lord of my life. I ask you to forgive me. I ask you to save me. Please remove the pain and the shame from me. Fill me with your Holy Spirit, and heal me. Guide me. Lead me into life. And please show me the way to live and to walk with you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
If you just prayed this, I want to congratulate you and welcome you to a new life! You made the most powerful and impactful decision you have ever made. And I want to encourage you to get support as you begin your journey with Jesus.
• Buy a Bible and download the Bible App. This is the most powerful way to begin walking with Jesus.
• If you are a woman, I invite you to join The Rooted Sisters Bible Study we are kicking off Thursday.
• We also have weekly Prayer meetings online each week and monthly hangouts.
• I am also starting a new small group on Next Steps for New Believers.
• And find a good, Bible-believing church. If you are in St. Louis, I can give you some recommendations.
I love you guys! But most importantly, Jesus loves you, and He loves in a way that never fails!
Do you ever find yourself thinking, even saying, “I have issues”?
The truth is, we all have issues. There are no people who have no issues. (Yes, you read that right.) The people who seemingly have no (or less) issues have either put in the time and work to get to the other side of (some of) them; or they exert great energy to keep them from surfacing. Why would theywe do that?
As someone who has had lots of issues over the decades, let me name some of the reasons we exert such great effort to conceal them:
To simply function.
To feel some semblance of control.
To feel accepted by society.
To avoid “bothering” others.
Because of stubbornness or pride.
Because of fear.
Now that I have named reasons we conceal our issues, let me also label the above as things that will keep us from being healed if we don’t release them.
I am sometimes on the other side of (at least the majority of) my issues, and sometimes I am smack-dab in the hot, sticky mess of issues. Sometimes I played a role in the creation of those issues, but a lot of times, they came out of nowhere from truly unexpected people and places.
When I am doing well, people ask how I got victory over those insanely crazy things. Let me first say, never did stuffing or concealing heal me. I once took pride in the fact that I didn’t cry for a decade, especially considering my experiences in that decade. But I won no trophies. Instead, my emotions came out as (lots and lots of) panic attacks and anorexia.
For each of the issues I have (to some extent) overcome, there is one common thread — I put in the time and really uncomfortable work to acknowledge and address those issues. And I never did it alone.
I have learned that healing takes time, but it’s not the kind of time people talk about, like “Time heals all wounds.” Time itself does not heal all wounds, especially if you marinated in a chaotic environment that created issues within you since childhood. Likewise, it’s not like living two years past a horrible trauma can suddenly – poof! – make you better. Clocks don’t do that.
The way time heals us is when we invest time in our healing. When we quit running around like a chicken with our heads cut off (avoidance) and set aside time to address issues, to get to the root of them, and deal with them, then time helps heal us.
There are some very precious people and actions that can aid in our time of healing. If you are looking to heal, to work on some of the issues that plague your thinking, rob you of peace, and attack your nervous system, you can!
Let me first say, I am no counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a mess. But I am a mess who is constantly being redeemed and refined by the grace of God. (And like any true mom, when I find something that works, I am telling the world!) So let me share the actions and people who have (and do) help(ed) me.
People We Need
The Holy Spirit!
There is no lasting healing without the Lord. Period. We are too tangled and locked up for any human alone to heal us. But Jesus left His precious Holy Spirit with us when He ascended as “the Comforter” to bring us comfort, wisdom, and peace that surpasses our ability to understand.
Friends – actual friends (You know what I’m talking about.)
If you have a friend who repeats what you say in confidence or judges you when you are truly yourself, that is counterproductive. This is not the friend I am talking about, no matter how long you have been friends.
Connect with a friend who you know your heart is safe with, who you truly know wants to see you walking in joy and freedom, even if they are decades older or five years younger.
A Counselor
Counselors know how nervous systems work. They know how trauma works – how it impacts our brains, our bodies, and our relationships. They have tactics to help us move past the hurdles that keep us from healing to keep moving towards healing.
Community
We can’t heal alone! We need to talk to people. We need a hug! We need understanding. We need empathy. I don’t care how independent you are, you need this. We were wired to be in fellowship with others. It’s how God made us.
Actions We Can Take
1. Be willing to go “there” with your friend – to let down the façade and show them who you really are and what you are really experiencing. We all innately desire to be known, but we will never be known unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
2. Be willing to look weak, to even have hand tremors, by talking about the scary things that need light shone on them. Don’t be afraid of your own fear. Keep pushing ahead!
3. Be willing to have triggers.
Drive down that particular road to get to the place you need to go to get help. Be willing to go to that restaurant that reminds you of that experience if it helps you get through it. Push through!
4. Invest the time and money to go to counseling.
If they don’t take insurance but you have the money, do it! Your peace for the rest of your life – shoot, even for today – is worth the investment! Or, if you don’t have the money (been there), ask if they have a special program or know of one, they can refer you to.
I have been investing the time in all of the above – these relationships and these actions; and I can honestly say they have helped me so much. Not all of my issues are resolved. (In fact, I just laughed out loud at that notion.) Some issues may never be until heaven. I have gained so much, though.
I have truly experienced full freedom in some of them, developed rich relationships in the process, gained coping tactics for some that stick, and I have gained a lot more courage and fight in me by acknowledging and addressing these issues. And, honestly, I feel more loved — because I have learned so much about God and myself in the process. I have also given others a chance to truly know me, and so I know their love for me is genuine. That is a real gift from it.
Yes, it takes time, emotion, energy, and maybe even money, to heal from issues, but you deserve freedom! Invest in your healing. You are worth it. You will truly feel proud of yourself for being a good friend to yourself in the process. And that alone has truly helped me hold my head up high.
I think we underestimate just how real and how deep the internal struggle has become.
We used to hide behind physical walls, but in this decade, with the opposition and polarity we have encountered, we have withdrawn layers further internally than before. And though we walk the streets and halls in public again, that internal isolation has traveled with us as we walk.
But, do you know that you – a total and complete stranger – have the power to help pull someone out from isolation with a single word? It’s true.
Just saying “hello,” making eye contact, and sharing a smile, reminds a person they are here, they are alive, they are part of a community, and they are seen. This reminds them there is still good in the world, and it is still worth engaging in.
Never would I ever have believed a smile was a risk. But it is in this current world. When you show another human, a stranger, you are willing to take a risk for them, ever so slight as it is, it changes everything. You may as well have stuck your hand into the pit to pull a fellow human out.
Say “hello.” It may encourage a fellow human to hop back into life.
Shapeless – the word I recently used to describe my life lately: Toggling back and forth so quickly I can’t keep up… Striving to serve others yet feeling invisible in the process… Constantly learning how to support so many and all at one time… Flowing from old-hat skills to the entirely new and back again in seconds with no time to process… Not feeling stellar at anything.
The sheer number of things coming my way, expectations on me (both given and internal) and the level of responsibility pulling at me… they seem constant. With ever-changing schedules and roles, I have found myself emotionally and spiritually exhausted. My heart desires to give more than I am able, and that hurts. Perhaps you have found yourself in a similar place?
I am a proponent for schedules – tight and clear ones, roles with clarified lanes and responsibilities, and boundaries – honoring where I end and others begin. In doing so, I usually feel – at least in some measure – in control of my life. Boundaries give me leverage to manufacture margin. This allows me to put my time where my heart is. Lately, I have felt as though my margin is cloudy. And so I know there are areas where I need revelation, clarity, and healing to move into the future with effectiveness, spiritually and emotionally.
It is important we self-manage. It is important to us all. After all, we will be held responsible for where our time, resources, and gifts go. Though we may feel a victim to expectations, we will be held responsible for outcomes… And so, we must do what it takes to once again put shape to our lives, to manage and steward them well, even as we protect our relationships. I have learned this in difficult ways in times past. And I have since done the work to get there, to manage my life. It took a lot of work but resulted in fruit. I can tell I need to do the work once again.
My personality profiles reveal I am an extroverted introvert. I am individualistic, with a need to unpack, process, and dream on my own for a bit. Yet, side-by-side is a desire to belong to a tribe moving effectively together into that future, doing hard things together. And that may be most difficult of all at this time: Relationships have changed, and I often feel like I am doing hard things alone.
I have lost a relationship in my life that has meant more to me than I could describe, and it breaks my heart. I pray God redeems it. In the meantime, I often ache over it and simply don’t know what to do. Have you ever experienced that? Helplessness and loss? I often find myself confused, knowing the enemy has meddled for years causing chaos and confusion. Yet, in my own strength, I don’t know how to clarify, to purify things. Shapeless. Confusing. Heart breaking.
And, unfortunately, in the midst of it all, in this season called “The Sandwich Generation,” friends have fallen away. I know this can happen in this season, where we strive to help aging parents and children and manage our careers, yet I still find it strange and sad, especially as I care about each one. So I ache in that gap. Have you ever been here? Some of you are there right now.
But here is where I must pause… as a person who has seen the Lord do good and overcome in surprising ways in my life again and again. Here I must rebuke the enemy, that liar, the devil. He would love to convince me, to convince any of us, that we are alone. The Bible says he has made it his job to meddle in the earth, amongst us, to “kill, steal, and destroy.” The enemy clouds our thinking, blocking our view of the multitude of blessings, and creating a fixation in us on the point of pain.
Yet, I am a follower of Jesus… Jesus, the Savior, who tells us, “I came to give life—life in all its fullness” (John 10:10). And His Word is true. Everything He has said will be. Everything He offered in the Bible is available today, for He never changes. That full life, that abundant life, is right here, in our grasp, right in front of us.
Life is confusing. It can be painful. Loneliness knocks at our door. People hurt us. We hurt and sabotage ourselves. News headlines frighten us. Situations turn out differently than we expected, and we wonder why… Was it them? Or was it me? Will it change? Will I? We all do it. We all ache, and we all ponder. But we must not settle into the ache.
Jesus has an outstretched arm, extending a full and abundant life to us, even now, even in the midst of pain. And He has won. Jesus has the victory over darkness, over loneliness, over confusion, and over heartbreak. He has the victory in the world and within us, when we invite Him in.
We who put our faith in Jesus will have the victory. That victory doesn’t come when all of the broken situations are perfectly fixed. Some situations, even relationships, may just float away, as hard as that is. We may never get the apology or reconciliation we long for. Yet, we can still heal, and still overcome, by leaning into Jesus in these moments of trial – in all moments. “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). We can overcome it all… the exhaustion and weariness, for we are of God, and He is greater than it all.
If you too have been aching in this season, please remember this – it may be most important of all: You are not alone. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He has been there for me through thick and thin, pulling me out of despair, replacing ashes with beauty, and depression with joy. And He will do it again. He is doing it now.
What can we do during difficult seasons?
Talk to Jesus.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8).
Literally, where you are, just start talking to Jesus. He is real. He is there. He cares about the smallest thing and the biggest thing, and He will respond by bringing peace and clarity in your spirit.
Catch and release.
“We tear down arguments and every presumption set up against the knowledge of God; and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
If a thought enters that is painful, condemning, depressing or hopeless, catch it and throw it out. We may not have control of every thought that pops into our heads, but we can control how long they stay there.
Find a friend.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
Meet a friend for lunch, or coffee, or on Zoom. Talk about what you are going through and hear what they are experiencing. Share friendship.
If you have recently lost friends, find a new friend and invest in that person. We all need friends. Many of us feel lonely. Put yourself out there. It will bless you and them.
Find a counselor.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail” (James 5:16).
Find a counselor, someone who understands the importance of spiritual healing (from the Holy Spirit of God). Tell them everything. We all need a safe place to fully unload and fully process our burdens. Just getting it all out can be incredibly freeing. The enemy feeds on us in isolation, when we are alone and seemingly in the dark. But the Holy Spirit brings in fresh air and healing when we reveal what was in the dark in the light.
Receive prayer.
“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord” (James 5:14).
Find a church. Ask for prayer. If you are experiencing a spirit of rejection, oppression, physical or emotional pain, ask them to lay hands on you and pray for you to be released of that. You deserve to walk in freedom, whether that is emotional or physical healing. Jesus died for you to be free.
Read the Bible.
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
Admission: It can be hard for me to read an entire book of the Bible. That’s me. But I NEED THE WORD. I need truth! I need to know what God says to combat the lies of the enemy. I need to have the power and weapon of His truth ready to fight off the enemy. So I open my Bible app in the morning and read a few verses at a time. It is life-giving.
Go for a walk. Get sleep. Drink water.
We have physiological needs that must be fulfilled to feel our best. We are meant to move and to sleep. Exercising is something that helps me, yet I do not do it enough. With the cool, crisp air of fall, I am going to make it a point to go out and enjoy myself this fall.
Do something nice for yourself.
Buy the pumpkin latte. Go for a walk through the mall. Visit the restaurant you’ve been meaning to try. Take a hike in that beautiful park. Get your nails done. Go for a bike ride. Get a fresh notebook. Take your spouse somewhere special.
We matter. God’s love for us abounds. He has good for us. The situations we are in will change. There is always hope for change. He is working behind the scenes on our behalf. His Word tells us again and again.
If you have been struggling like I have, join me in praying this out loud…
Prayer
God, I need you. I cannot do any of this on my own. I confess I have sins I hide and pain I protect. I pray that you would remove these burdens from me in Jesus’ name. They are too heavy for me, I confess, and I need your help.
Jesus, I need you. I need saving. I cannot figure my way out of this on my own. I am in over my head. Thank you for dying in my place, to pay the price for my sin and to give me fullness and freedom of life. Please save me and give me hope. I receive your hope, I receive your wholeness, in Jesus’ name.
I pray that you would direct my path. I don’t know what I am doing. Show me where to go and when, what to say “no” to and how, what relationships to invest in, and where I need to forgive. Please help me forgive others and myself.
I give it all to you. Please have your way in my life, in Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:21
What are you building your life on? What is your foundation? What are you revolving your dreams around? Where do you put your focus? Is it worth it? Is it worth a life? Is it worth your life – your time, your energy, and your fixation? The decisions we make, usually with time limitations, are based on where our focus lies.
It feels easier, clearer, and more pragmatic to make decisions based on what we see, what we can touch, what is right before us. Yet those “real,” tangible things are most breakable, most perishable, and fragile.
Grasp your glass of water or that vase on your table. Holding it brings a sense of confidence. Our skin tells our nerves to tell our brains this is real, and we feel a strange sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Yet our skin itself, our bodies, they too, though seen, felt and tangible, are also breakable, vulnerable and one day will perish. Those things seen, that are physical, that our eyes can gaze upon, are actually most fragile, and should be trusted least.
But, ah, how tricky it is to trust and to have faith in those things we cannot touch… Yet, most solid, most reliable and trustworthy are those things our hearts and our spirits know that our skin cannot perceive: The power of God at work in our lives, the sacred bond in marriage, or with your child… These are the most reliable foundations for our lives.
Though our skin, brains and nerves trick us into believing the here-and-now, the things most obviously perceived, are most reliable, our souls, our very spirits, know the truth… that our focus, our lives, our dreams, our hearts are safest in the hands of God. And yet, His ways often feel unknown to us. The most trustworthy of marching orders, though often given just one at a time, are found in relationship and conversation with Him.
Though we seek to control the course of our lives, such as physically gripping and following a map, all things will perish but what God orders, what He commands, what He calls into being. Like a man’s footsteps wash away with the tide, so do our plans, made apart from God. Yet, no one can stop what God has planned, and why would we want to do anything outside of His will?
Trust Him today. Though you feel out of control, just putting one foot out in front of the other, we are truly safest when we make God our foundation, when we put our trust in Him and focus our lives around Him. I am reminding myself to trust today, to take one step at a time in faith, following His lead. Though I feel scared, I know there is no safer place to be than beyond myself and in His great big will for my, for our, lives.
Sarah Guldalian 