Women's ministry – Sarah Guldalian

The topic we don’t address.

Something that changed for me years ago was the routine and comfort of going into an office.

When the world left to go off to school or work, I had already loaded up, gotten my coffee, greeted my baristas, found my parking spot, unlocked the doors, and welcomed my team. I loved my team.

Yet, some major things changed for me – and then the world shifted, in general – and I began to work primarily from home, alone, with meetings online instead of in-person, where there used to be hugs and handshakes and people who worried if you didn’t show up.

And, at first, it was hard… like, really hard. I felt claustrophobic and sometimes even panic. But, after awhile, I grew more accustomed to it and even saw the practical value and efficiency of it. While I admittedly grew to feel … almost robotic at times… I also came to see how productive I could be.

And, while I’d rather see people than simply be productive, I came to see the real positive it afforded me — more time with my family. And, after awhile, I grew to enjoy it. But, if you aren’t careful, you can let bad in with the good. And, whereas I used to always travel, I grew to rarely leave home.

And, you know — it is okay to be alone sometimes. When God is with you, you can always experience peace. He’s the very best friend a person could have. But, in addition to His peace, God also gives us each other.

And, if I am honest, I will admit that some days it is still hard… Hard to see my favorite people load up and head out, and I’m still here. It hurts in the morning, and it hurts at some point in the afternoon. I miss them, because they are awesome.

Why am I sharing this? Because I want to put into words something entrepreneurs and remote workers often feel but rarely voice … loneliness.

It can feel very lonely to run a company by yourself or to be an at-home professional … It can feel rather isolating to meet people online only. And, if you’re not careful, it can become very easy to become robotic for the sake of being productive. But, its not good for us. We aren’t made of metal but of flesh, with hearts.

And, here’s the thing: Productivity is important, but you are more than what you can produce. You matter more than the simple efficiency of a perfectly timed meeting. Just because you have grown accustomed to this way of life – of being alone — doesn’t mean you should always be alone. We need people. We are meant to be in fellowship with people. It’s how God designed us.

If you have hit all of your deadlines, made your quotas, and made cool Creative, but you feel alone… it’s time to look up and look out. Find community. Invest in relationships. Find a place where people ask you questions, where they miss you when they don’t see you, where you get hugged. Allow yourself to feel loved. You matter.

If you are a professional woman looking for community, I invite you to join the community that makes me feel loved and reminds me I am not alone – The Rooted Sisters.

Join a small group at a local church. Get to know the people at your gym. Ask your barista about their day. Co-work beside friends. Meet up with colleagues. It matters. It all matters.

Allow yourself to love and to feel loved. We need each other. And you bring something special to the world that God uniquely put in you… Something amazing happens when you show up.

I love you guys… and thank you for loving me. We are not alone. God is with us, and He surrounds each of us with people to hug and encourage— to hug and encourage us too. Look up and get out. Allow yourself to be loved. You matter.

But I Don’t Understand.

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time trying to understand. I care deeply and, as a result, I have always asked a lot of questions.

As a student, I spent additional time underlining, was routinely raising my hand, and even received tutoring to fully understand.

As a young adult in leadership programs, I learned that I should seek to understand before being understood.

As a journalist, I set out to understand what makes people tick, why they do what they do, and how that impacts the world around them.

In church, I have often sat in the front, taking notes to make sure the message stuck.

I have sought to understand how bodies and health work to try and get things right.

In relationships, I have found myself confused and have spent even years trying to understand dynamics, motives, and turning points.

In business, I have researched and combed through information to make sure I fully understand to get it all right.

I always seek to understand what the right thing is to do – by the Bible, by people, in business, and law.

And, many times, I have felt stupid… truly… when I have failed to understand something, whether it was school, work, or otherwise.

Understanding… its something we seek… And the wheels just keep turning and turning as we try to make sense of life and get it all right.

When I have lacked understanding , I have gone into fear… fearing I wasn’t smart enough, experienced enough or strong enough to protect myself, to advance myself or my family.

And, get this… understanding is good. There are proverbs and psalms that teach us to seek understanding, to seek wisdom. But seeking wisdom is different than trying to gain a sense of power by knowing it all or launching into fear and anxiety for not knowing everything.

In fact, while understanding is good, the Bible tells us there is something that surpasses understanding… something greater that trumps it… Something greater that guards us more than getting it all…

In Philippians 4:6-7 it says,

“Do be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God…

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The PEACE OF GOD transcends understanding.

Peace does not come when you have it all figured out. Because you can have an IQ that is sky-high and experience greater than them all, but you will never fully understand, never know it all, never have it all figured out… We simply are incapable of understanding everything. Only God does.

We don’t have all of the answers. So, if we are leaning on our own understanding to have peace, we will never have peace. But, when we lean on God, we will experience peace that surpasses understanding.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I don’t know about you, but I get tired of trying to figure it all out — forfeiting peace and sleep just to never fully understand. But, raising my hands and surrendering to God – our Creator King – is absolutely peace-evoking.

I pray that today, both you and I can give our cranking minds a break and just receive the peace of God that transcends our ability to understand. Peace surpasses understanding. And that peace is God’s gift to us, so we can rest in Him, just knowing that He is good and He never slumbers. He is taking care of it all.

God, I love you. Thank you for being so good and for being God over the throne of all, including Lord over my life. I thank you that your peace transcends my ability to understand and that you are the guarder of my heart. I give my heart, as well as all of my concerns, to you today. Thank you for giving me your peace in return. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Not Disqualified

You may have had a hard season. You may have set out strong and failed. You may have lost. But you are NOT disqualified.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Take the time you need to heal, to breath, to rest, to pray, to bask in the presence of God. Allow Him to speak to you, to download fresh vision, and then make plans to get back out there.

You may not be ready yet, or even for a while, but set your intention to get back on your path. Hope is important. And you can have that hope and assurance knowing that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

Surrender to Him and see how He works. It won’t be like last time… you won’t be holding it up in your own strength if you surrender.

You feel empty right now, but emptied of yourself is the best place to be. Open your hands to Him, give Him the wheel, make Him the lead of your life – every area of your life- and watch what He does. He never fails, and He will never, ever fail you.

Never Alone

God has brought me through so much. He has never left me. He has never abandoned me. I can never thank Him enough. So I’m just not going to stop. I can’t and simply won’t hoard this good news to myself:

Jesus saves. He is the only one and only thing that saves us from the pit and depths of despair, loneliness, trauma, abandonment, grief and failure. Just call out to Him, “Jesus, Help me. I need your help.” And He will help.

God is an ever present help in the time of trouble. And He can put a new song in your heart, fresh vision in your mind, trade joy for despair and dancing for mourning. He is so, so good.

Psalm 46

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

^”The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

“Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.’

“The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

Community Matters

I am a people-person. I love people. I know God made them in His image and created them because of His great love for them. It is important to me to see people — to truly see them, to see their hearts, especially women.

We as women are doing so much — nurturing those in every generation, all at the same time, as we also strive to steward our gifts and our time to work and provide a living, while often times also trying to serve our communities. It is beautiful. It can also be a lot. And we need friendships, community, and encouragement.

I know that, when my time and focus is primarily focused on tasks and deliverables, I am out of alignment with how God wired me. He created me to be an encourager and a listening ear. He has brought me through so very much that I want to comfort others with the comfort He has given me. Yet, my time has barely allowed me to care for myself at times.

And so, for quite some time, the Lord has been working on my heart to be more in alignment with His heart for me — to be in greater community and in deeper fellowship with my sisters in Christ, seeing and hearing their hearts to a greater degree… more than tasks, more than deliverables.

And so, in this season, I know God is up to something — retuning my habits, my focus and my schedule — to put my days back into alignment with my heart and His desire for me. He created me – He created you too – to be in community. He made us to be in relationship with one another.

For me, my community is The Rooted Sisters, a ministry for professional women that I have the blessing of leading. God is up to something amazing in this ministry where professional women gather to study the Word of God, grow in their faith in Christ, and learn to lead others to do the same. It is an honor to put my heart, focus, and energy here. This means stepping back from other projects and tasks to step up here. And it is a beautiful gift to do so.

For the women reading this, who are so craving community, as well, I invite you to join us through Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings, Equipping Webinars, Fellowship Events, the Christian Business Women’s Breakfast, and so much more. These are rich relationships, centered around Christ, where we truly uplift each other.

You Have Issues.

Do you ever find yourself thinking, even saying, “I have issues”?

The truth is, we all have issues. There are no people who have no issues. (Yes, you read that right.) The people who seemingly have no (or less) issues have either put in the time and work to get to the other side of (some of) them; or they exert great energy to keep them from surfacing. Why would ~~they~~ we do that?

As someone who has had lots of issues over the decades, let me name some of the reasons we exert such great effort to conceal them:

To simply function.
To feel some semblance of control.
To feel accepted by society.
To avoid “bothering” others.
Because of stubbornness or pride.
Because of fear.

Now that I have named reasons we conceal our issues, let me also label the above as things that will keep us from being healed if we don’t release them.

I am sometimes on the other side of (at least the majority of) my issues, and sometimes I am smack-dab in the hot, sticky mess of issues. Sometimes I played a role in the creation of those issues, but a lot of times, they came out of nowhere from truly unexpected people and places.

When I am doing well, people ask how I got victory over those insanely crazy things. Let me first say, never did stuffing or concealing heal me. I once took pride in the fact that I didn’t cry for a decade, especially considering my experiences in that decade. But I won no trophies. Instead, my emotions came out as (lots and lots of) panic attacks and anorexia.

For each of the issues I have (to some extent) overcome, there is one common thread — I put in the time and really uncomfortable work to acknowledge and address those issues. And I never did it alone.

I have learned that healing takes time, but it’s not the kind of time people talk about, like “Time heals all wounds.” Time itself does not heal all wounds, especially if you marinated in a chaotic environment that created issues within you since childhood. Likewise, it’s not like living two years past a horrible trauma can suddenly – poof! – make you better. Clocks don’t do that.

The way time heals us is when we invest time in our healing. When we quit running around like a chicken with our heads cut off (avoidance) and set aside time to address issues, to get to the root of them, and deal with them, then time helps heal us.

There are some very precious people and actions that can aid in our time of healing. If you are looking to heal, to work on some of the issues that plague your thinking, rob you of peace, and attack your nervous system, you can!

Let me first say, I am no counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a mess. But I am a mess who is constantly being redeemed and refined by the grace of God. (And like any true mom, when I find something that works, I am telling the world!) So let me share the actions and people who have (and do) help(ed) me.

People We Need

The Holy Spirit!

There is no lasting healing without the Lord. Period. We are too tangled and locked up for any human alone to heal us. But Jesus left His precious Holy Spirit with us when He ascended as “the Comforter” to bring us comfort, wisdom, and peace that surpasses our ability to understand.
Friends – actual friends (You know what I’m talking about.)

If you have a friend who repeats what you say in confidence or judges you when you are truly yourself, that is counterproductive. This is not the friend I am talking about, no matter how long you have been friends.

Connect with a friend who you know your heart is safe with, who you truly know wants to see you walking in joy and freedom, even if they are decades older or five years younger.
A Counselor

Counselors know how nervous systems work. They know how trauma works – how it impacts our brains, our bodies, and our relationships. They have tactics to help us move past the hurdles that keep us from healing to keep moving towards healing.
Community

We can’t heal alone! We need to talk to people. We need a hug! We need understanding. We need empathy. I don’t care how independent you are, you need this. We were wired to be in fellowship with others. It’s how God made us.

Actions We Can Take

1. Be willing to go “there” with your friend – to let down the façade and show them who you really are and what you are really experiencing. We all innately desire to be known, but we will never be known unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

2. Be willing to look weak, to even have hand tremors, by talking about the scary things that need light shone on them. Don’t be afraid of your own fear. Keep pushing ahead!

3. Be willing to have triggers.

Drive down that particular road to get to the place you need to go to get help. Be willing to go to that restaurant that reminds you of that experience if it helps you get through it. Push through!

4. Invest the time and money to go to counseling.

If they don’t take insurance but you have the money, do it! Your peace for the rest of your life – shoot, even for today – is worth the investment! Or, if you don’t have the money (been there), ask if they have a special program or know of one, they can refer you to.

I have been investing the time in all of the above – these relationships and these actions; and I can honestly say they have helped me so much. Not all of my issues are resolved. (In fact, I just laughed out loud at that notion.) Some issues may never be until heaven. I have gained so much, though.

I have truly experienced full freedom in some of them, developed rich relationships in the process, gained coping tactics for some that stick, and I have gained a lot more courage and fight in me by acknowledging and addressing these issues. And, honestly, I feel more loved — because I have learned so much about God and myself in the process. I have also given others a chance to truly know me, and so I know their love for me is genuine. That is a real gift from it.

Yes, it takes time, emotion, energy, and maybe even money, to heal from issues, but you deserve freedom! Invest in your healing. You are worth it. You will truly feel proud of yourself for being a good friend to yourself in the process. And that alone has truly helped me hold my head up high.

Sending you love, Sarah

Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever felt like God didn’t hear your prayer? Have you felt like your prayers, in one particular area, simply ricocheted against a wall?

Throughout my life, I have seen life-changing miracles – goosebump-producing breakthroughs and truly unexpected healings. Yet, in one particular area – an area where I exerted daily energy, efforts and prayer – I didn’t see breakthrough. I felt like I couldn’t catch a break or come up for air. Instead of breakthrough, the roller coaster of pain and confusion escalated – more disappointment, heartbreak, and fear – no matter what I did. I wondered why the Lord wasn’t hearing my prayer for breakthrough in this prominent area of my life.

This past week at a Bible Study, Dr. Richard Blackaby said, “God has eternity in view.” This is exactly right. This is why He doesn’t answer our prayers the way our finite minds and fickle emotions call them. God has eternity in view. God’s ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Simply put, He knows more than we know, and His plans for our future are good.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Father God sees all things. He sees before and behind. He sees above and below. He sees the inside of a situation – not just the outside, our view.

God knew us – He planned us – before we were conceived. He knows the purpose He has placed in each one of us. He knows the calling He has on our life. He put it there. God knows what He has planned for us to accomplish in our time on this earth. He knows what He has in store for us for eternity.

There is an absolute reason God placed each one of us here. And He knows we will not be fulfilled until we are walking in the calling He has placed in our lives. He is the missing puzzle piece in any area we feel lack. There is no replacement for God’s presence or direction in our lives!

To live out the call God has placed on us, we must walk with Him. We must hear His voice. That means the sirens of life must die down. If we will not turn them down and we continue to run to their beckon call, we will run aimlessly through our days. Instead of living on mission, we will never find fulfillment. So, our Father – loving and gracious as He is – steps in. While we cling tightly to the familiar, just asking for a quick fix, Father God knows there is complete healing available in the release.

And our loving Father knows His children. He knows when we will not let go. He knows when we will not leave. So, instead of breakthrough – instead of opening the door we asked Him to open – His loving response is to give us an evacuation plan. He knows the best thing for us is to pluck us out of a situation. God knows that healing in this situation is not another band-aid but being removed from it altogether.

It can be heartbreaking – absolutely gut-wrenching – especially when it is all we know and our lives have been so intertwined with this situation. But some situations, some relationships, are a distraction. They threaten to pull us off course from God’s direction for our lives. They threaten to remove us from our calling altogether.

As God-fearing people who confess Jesus as Lord, we are to have no other gods – no other thing we cling to but Him. We, in our desperation, just want to satiate momentary heartbreak, so we run to others in the place of God. But God will not share His seat with another. We are not to put people on a pedestal. Only God is on the throne, and He will not share His glory with another. “I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols” (Isaiah 42:8).

To those who have submitted to His Lordship, He will stop us from running into the fire and destroying ourselves completely. This is all because of His merciful love towards us. In His love, He does not give us the finite answer we asked for in a complex situation, because He knows it holds spiritual and eternal consequences. Therefore, in our finite view, we sometimes see His answer as a “no,” but He is saying “yes” to full and complete healing for our lives. He doesn’t want us to settle or to lose it all.

What I have been learning is that there are natural consequences for sin. We cannot let people’s sin, including our own, change our view of God. God is always good and just. He, as a loving Father, will not spare us of correction, like insulant, spoiled children. He cares about us far more than that. He wants good for our lives and for eternity.

Father God knows who we truly are and where we are headed. He knows when we need a course-correction. He even knows when we will continue in the wrong direction for a lifetime. He sees that we are headed right into traffic where we are going to be taken out. So, as a loving Father, He picks us up and moves us out of the way.

When we find ourselves in silence, out of the commotion and chaos we are so accustomed, we may feel loss – the loss of the familiar. But God is here to replace our lack with His love, and He is ready to start the healing process within us towards wholeness.

Lastly, I think of the lame man in the Bible from John 5. He lived His life on a mat, in pain, carried around by his friends. One day, his friends carry him to the house where Jesus is. He has an encounter with Jesus. Jesus wants to bring him healing, but the mat must go. It cannot go into this next season with him, as it has with all of his seasons so far.

As we sit from the outside looking in, we get excited that this man is about to be healed by Jesus Himself. Yet, if you were the lame man in that moment, so physically hindered that your whole life has been confined to this mat, you might feel devastated if it is one day taken away.

Jesus says to him, “’Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked” (John 5:8-19). In one moment, his band-aid – his immediate fix – has been taken away, but it has been replaced with total healing and freedom. I believe God is answering some of our prayers today with these words, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

I pray today, that as you process through the changes in your life that may feel like loss, that you would lean on the Lord to fill all that feels like lack. I pray that He gives you fresh vision and fresh anointing for this next season of freedom for you and for your life.

I pray that the Lord surrounds you with His comfort, His love and His wisdom. I pray that He shows you how to move ahead and how it is for your good. I pray that He surrounds you with Godly friends and influences. I pray that you learn to hear His voice above all else. And I pray that His Holy Spirit does a healing work in you internally as He has been doing in me. In Jesus’ name.

Sending you love, Sarah

The Goodness of God

I was recently asked to speak about the goodness of God. Oh my, this was the easiest topic to share about, because God is so good.

God in His very nature is good. He Himself is the definition of good. Just as Jesus is synonymous with the Word — “The Word became flesh and dwelled among us” (John 1:14) – so is God synonymous good. His goodness compares to none. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, said He himself had not attained goodness. [When called “Good Teacher”, Jesus responded, “Why do you call me good?… No one is good—except God alone” (Mark 10:18).] True goodness is God.

In “The Great Divorce,” C.S. Lewis said it well – “There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.” When we look to God, we are in the light, and we too are good: “If we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). When we turn away, we are in darkness.

Yet, though we turn away from God, He does not turn away from us. He is not like us. Even in our sin, our Heavenly Father pursues us in love: “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6). His desire is to be with us, to lavish love on us, forever. In fact, He runs after us with an unfailing love and so many precious gifts of His goodness.

Here are a few of the good – more than that, the great – things of God towards us!

1) His Love towards us

His love is far greater than our sin.
- “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:11-12).
Nothing can separate us from His love. Abba never stops loving us.
- “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

2) His Presence in our lives

He is always present.
- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging” (Psalm 46:1).
Therefore, we can take refuge – we can hide – in Him.
- “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1).

3) His Promises are precious.

He always keeps His word.
- “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19).
God never abandons us.
- “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).
Therefore, we can trust Him.

4) His Protection & Plans

Because He is good, my future is secure.
- Here and for eternity!
Therefore, I am good!
- I am set. My feet are on solid rock.

5) His Healing
Physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually

He redeems! “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness— secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name” (Isaiah 45:3).
He restores! “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)

6) How Great Is His Call to Us Who Love & Follow Him

Because He lives in me, I can do good.

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased” (Hebrews 13:16).
Because He comforts me in times of trouble, I can comfort others.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
Because He is good and has good for me, I can smile at the days ahead.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25).
His goodness extends for eternity – not simply the here or now, but forever when we trust in Him.

Because God is good and He loves me, I know I am good, and I can do good to others! We cannot out run His love!