vocation – Sarah Guldalian

“But As For Me” Theology

We’re teaching our children not to go the popular route, not to make decisions based on the popular vote or according to a poll of peers. We’re teaching them to think independently — teaching them “But as for me” theology…

“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

“But as for me, I will call upon the Lord, and He will save me” (Psalm 55:16).

“But as for me, I will sing of your power; I will sing joyfully of your unfailing love each morning” (Psalm 59:16),

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me” (Micah 7:7).

Though the world chooses idols, we’re choosing Jesus.

Though it is tempting to put our trust in men, we’re putting our trust in Jesus.

Though it is hard not to give in to depression when reading the headlines, we are delighting in God, because His power is greater.

Though it can be hard not to rush ahead in our own strength out of impatience, we are waiting on the Lord.

What the world says? Nope.
What the Bible says? Yep.

Prayer
Father, Help us as we strive to be more like Jesus day after day. Give us the strength, the encouragement and help us obey. You are our source. We love you, Lord.

Today Matters.

This day – any day – may feel mundane right now. But, one day, our grandchildren and great grandchildren will read history books about our time, and they may even wish they lived in our era to make some kind of difference on the hurting world around us now.

So, let’s not throw a day away by looking at it as inconsequential, especially when we are the central character of our own story – a story that impacts the world around us, sending ripples and waves, in a way that positively affects those around us. We have within us the ability to make a lasting impact through our words, our actions, our attitude and our resources.

My grandma told me that, during WW2, she went door to door with her wagon to collect metal to help support her country. She was 11. She did what she could do to help, even as a kid, which she carried into her adult life as a pillar of her community. She was an amazing example to me of how to positively affect the world around you.

Psalm 139 talks about the value of your life. It says every day was ordained before even one of them came to be. It’s no accident God made you the way you are with the gifts and passions He gave you, in the community He placed you, at this specific time.

We just need to open our hands and ask, “God, Show me your plan for my day. I yield to you. Please give me everything I need to live the life you called me to.”

Our Bodies Matter.

Our bodies matter to God. There is a reason He thoughtfully decided to create each one of us and put us on earth. In fact, it is absolutely amazing to think of the great lengths and stories God has done to place us here.

Our son was conceived after we had people lay hands on us and pray for my womb when I was infertile. My system did not get straightened out through doctors before I conceived. I conceived when it just plain didn’t work and hadn’t worked for some time. It was God’s supernatural power at work.

I think about amazingly powerful people in God who would not have been here through the hands of men — multiple abortions performed that never took. I think of the life and cycle of conception and gestation alone, in every, single woman. And it is a miracle. An absolute miracle. I ate brownies, ice cream, and hamburgers, and I got these beautiful children. Nothing I did created the beauty and uniqueness of these physical gifts. God wove them together as a masterpiece.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

There is a reason God created bodies and that He put us on earth together – That He Himself even gave up His divine freedoms as Jesus came to earth in a body, confined to time and aging as we all do. Bodies matter. And the Bible talks about what our bodies will one day look like when Jesus comes back. Bodies matter.

We know we are not citizens here on earth. Our permanent residency is in heaven. Yet, God chose to create us uniquely this way for a reason. There is nothing accidental about it. We were not some random result of science. God Himself created the earth and everything in and around it. So our bodies matter. They have purpose.

What we do with our bodies matters. How we treat our bodies matters. How we treat the bodies of the conceived matters. How we treat other people’s bodies matters.

We are actually called to worship God with our bodies. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship” (Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬).‬ This is one of the reasons I love the arts, especially as they relate to worship unto God.

I am prone to cry when I watch my mom or my friend, Vesta, use their bodies as vessels of praise through dance to worship the Lord. I am prone to awe as I watch my precious friends, Clifton and Eva, use their voices as vessels of worship to God. I am prone to awe and wonder as I see my husband and the musicians of StikYard use their bodies and instruments to powerfully worship God through sound and movement.

And the same rings true of my friends, Debbie Morris and John Morris, who utilize the food and exercise God designed to strengthen and heal the body. And I am so grateful they use their knowledge to teach others to honor their bodies, to honor God’s creation and His call on lives. Bodies matter, and the way we treat them matters.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Our bodies matter. And they confound us. I admit that I have struggled with this over the years — having a crooked, turned spine that can cause me pain, debilitation (since 10), and changed my shape. I admit I have struggled with how to eat and played with my diet to manipulate my body in unhealthy ways. I admit I drank too much when I was in college so I no longer want to touch the stuff. My body has confounded me at times – many times, and frustrated, I have not used it for worship.

Yet, God created me. He created this body, and it matters. It matters enough to be around for almost a century to be a walking instrument of worship, so it needs to be respected, loved, and tended to. I am working more and more on that. And I do thank people like Debbie Morris who inspire me with the how.

Today, maybe you want to join me, in giving back your body – and all that goes with it – where our feet take us, where we take the time to be, what we choose to eat, and how we choose to treat it – for God’s glory, with honor and respect for His creation. (If so, feel free to pray this along with me.)

Prayer

God, I love you. Thank you for creating me. Thank you for creating this body in my mother’s womb. Thank you for choosing me to be here to be part of your big, beautiful story.

I pray Lord that I would honor you with my body. I pray that you would show me how to properly tend to your creation – this precious life – and that I would use my body as worship, a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you.

Thank you for caring about my body. Thank you for healing and restoring my body from damage and removing pain. I give you back my body and my time. It is yours. Help me use it as you have designed to live out your purposes for my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Have Issues.

Do you ever find yourself thinking, even saying, “I have issues”?

The truth is, we all have issues. There are no people who have no issues. (Yes, you read that right.) The people who seemingly have no (or less) issues have either put in the time and work to get to the other side of (some of) them; or they exert great energy to keep them from surfacing. Why would ~~they~~ we do that?

As someone who has had lots of issues over the decades, let me name some of the reasons we exert such great effort to conceal them:

To simply function.
To feel some semblance of control.
To feel accepted by society.
To avoid “bothering” others.
Because of stubbornness or pride.
Because of fear.

Now that I have named reasons we conceal our issues, let me also label the above as things that will keep us from being healed if we don’t release them.

I am sometimes on the other side of (at least the majority of) my issues, and sometimes I am smack-dab in the hot, sticky mess of issues. Sometimes I played a role in the creation of those issues, but a lot of times, they came out of nowhere from truly unexpected people and places.

When I am doing well, people ask how I got victory over those insanely crazy things. Let me first say, never did stuffing or concealing heal me. I once took pride in the fact that I didn’t cry for a decade, especially considering my experiences in that decade. But I won no trophies. Instead, my emotions came out as (lots and lots of) panic attacks and anorexia.

For each of the issues I have (to some extent) overcome, there is one common thread — I put in the time and really uncomfortable work to acknowledge and address those issues. And I never did it alone.

I have learned that healing takes time, but it’s not the kind of time people talk about, like “Time heals all wounds.” Time itself does not heal all wounds, especially if you marinated in a chaotic environment that created issues within you since childhood. Likewise, it’s not like living two years past a horrible trauma can suddenly – poof! – make you better. Clocks don’t do that.

The way time heals us is when we invest time in our healing. When we quit running around like a chicken with our heads cut off (avoidance) and set aside time to address issues, to get to the root of them, and deal with them, then time helps heal us.

There are some very precious people and actions that can aid in our time of healing. If you are looking to heal, to work on some of the issues that plague your thinking, rob you of peace, and attack your nervous system, you can!

Let me first say, I am no counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a mess. But I am a mess who is constantly being redeemed and refined by the grace of God. (And like any true mom, when I find something that works, I am telling the world!) So let me share the actions and people who have (and do) help(ed) me.

People We Need

The Holy Spirit!

There is no lasting healing without the Lord. Period. We are too tangled and locked up for any human alone to heal us. But Jesus left His precious Holy Spirit with us when He ascended as “the Comforter” to bring us comfort, wisdom, and peace that surpasses our ability to understand.
Friends – actual friends (You know what I’m talking about.)

If you have a friend who repeats what you say in confidence or judges you when you are truly yourself, that is counterproductive. This is not the friend I am talking about, no matter how long you have been friends.

Connect with a friend who you know your heart is safe with, who you truly know wants to see you walking in joy and freedom, even if they are decades older or five years younger.
A Counselor

Counselors know how nervous systems work. They know how trauma works – how it impacts our brains, our bodies, and our relationships. They have tactics to help us move past the hurdles that keep us from healing to keep moving towards healing.
Community

We can’t heal alone! We need to talk to people. We need a hug! We need understanding. We need empathy. I don’t care how independent you are, you need this. We were wired to be in fellowship with others. It’s how God made us.

Actions We Can Take

1. Be willing to go “there” with your friend – to let down the façade and show them who you really are and what you are really experiencing. We all innately desire to be known, but we will never be known unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

2. Be willing to look weak, to even have hand tremors, by talking about the scary things that need light shone on them. Don’t be afraid of your own fear. Keep pushing ahead!

3. Be willing to have triggers.

Drive down that particular road to get to the place you need to go to get help. Be willing to go to that restaurant that reminds you of that experience if it helps you get through it. Push through!

4. Invest the time and money to go to counseling.

If they don’t take insurance but you have the money, do it! Your peace for the rest of your life – shoot, even for today – is worth the investment! Or, if you don’t have the money (been there), ask if they have a special program or know of one, they can refer you to.

I have been investing the time in all of the above – these relationships and these actions; and I can honestly say they have helped me so much. Not all of my issues are resolved. (In fact, I just laughed out loud at that notion.) Some issues may never be until heaven. I have gained so much, though.

I have truly experienced full freedom in some of them, developed rich relationships in the process, gained coping tactics for some that stick, and I have gained a lot more courage and fight in me by acknowledging and addressing these issues. And, honestly, I feel more loved — because I have learned so much about God and myself in the process. I have also given others a chance to truly know me, and so I know their love for me is genuine. That is a real gift from it.

Yes, it takes time, emotion, energy, and maybe even money, to heal from issues, but you deserve freedom! Invest in your healing. You are worth it. You will truly feel proud of yourself for being a good friend to yourself in the process. And that alone has truly helped me hold my head up high.

Sending you love, Sarah

Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever felt like God didn’t hear your prayer? Have you felt like your prayers, in one particular area, simply ricocheted against a wall?

Throughout my life, I have seen life-changing miracles – goosebump-producing breakthroughs and truly unexpected healings. Yet, in one particular area – an area where I exerted daily energy, efforts and prayer – I didn’t see breakthrough. I felt like I couldn’t catch a break or come up for air. Instead of breakthrough, the roller coaster of pain and confusion escalated – more disappointment, heartbreak, and fear – no matter what I did. I wondered why the Lord wasn’t hearing my prayer for breakthrough in this prominent area of my life.

This past week at a Bible Study, Dr. Richard Blackaby said, “God has eternity in view.” This is exactly right. This is why He doesn’t answer our prayers the way our finite minds and fickle emotions call them. God has eternity in view. God’s ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Simply put, He knows more than we know, and His plans for our future are good.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Father God sees all things. He sees before and behind. He sees above and below. He sees the inside of a situation – not just the outside, our view.

God knew us – He planned us – before we were conceived. He knows the purpose He has placed in each one of us. He knows the calling He has on our life. He put it there. God knows what He has planned for us to accomplish in our time on this earth. He knows what He has in store for us for eternity.

There is an absolute reason God placed each one of us here. And He knows we will not be fulfilled until we are walking in the calling He has placed in our lives. He is the missing puzzle piece in any area we feel lack. There is no replacement for God’s presence or direction in our lives!

To live out the call God has placed on us, we must walk with Him. We must hear His voice. That means the sirens of life must die down. If we will not turn them down and we continue to run to their beckon call, we will run aimlessly through our days. Instead of living on mission, we will never find fulfillment. So, our Father – loving and gracious as He is – steps in. While we cling tightly to the familiar, just asking for a quick fix, Father God knows there is complete healing available in the release.

And our loving Father knows His children. He knows when we will not let go. He knows when we will not leave. So, instead of breakthrough – instead of opening the door we asked Him to open – His loving response is to give us an evacuation plan. He knows the best thing for us is to pluck us out of a situation. God knows that healing in this situation is not another band-aid but being removed from it altogether.

It can be heartbreaking – absolutely gut-wrenching – especially when it is all we know and our lives have been so intertwined with this situation. But some situations, some relationships, are a distraction. They threaten to pull us off course from God’s direction for our lives. They threaten to remove us from our calling altogether.

As God-fearing people who confess Jesus as Lord, we are to have no other gods – no other thing we cling to but Him. We, in our desperation, just want to satiate momentary heartbreak, so we run to others in the place of God. But God will not share His seat with another. We are not to put people on a pedestal. Only God is on the throne, and He will not share His glory with another. “I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols” (Isaiah 42:8).

To those who have submitted to His Lordship, He will stop us from running into the fire and destroying ourselves completely. This is all because of His merciful love towards us. In His love, He does not give us the finite answer we asked for in a complex situation, because He knows it holds spiritual and eternal consequences. Therefore, in our finite view, we sometimes see His answer as a “no,” but He is saying “yes” to full and complete healing for our lives. He doesn’t want us to settle or to lose it all.

What I have been learning is that there are natural consequences for sin. We cannot let people’s sin, including our own, change our view of God. God is always good and just. He, as a loving Father, will not spare us of correction, like insulant, spoiled children. He cares about us far more than that. He wants good for our lives and for eternity.

Father God knows who we truly are and where we are headed. He knows when we need a course-correction. He even knows when we will continue in the wrong direction for a lifetime. He sees that we are headed right into traffic where we are going to be taken out. So, as a loving Father, He picks us up and moves us out of the way.

When we find ourselves in silence, out of the commotion and chaos we are so accustomed, we may feel loss – the loss of the familiar. But God is here to replace our lack with His love, and He is ready to start the healing process within us towards wholeness.

Lastly, I think of the lame man in the Bible from John 5. He lived His life on a mat, in pain, carried around by his friends. One day, his friends carry him to the house where Jesus is. He has an encounter with Jesus. Jesus wants to bring him healing, but the mat must go. It cannot go into this next season with him, as it has with all of his seasons so far.

As we sit from the outside looking in, we get excited that this man is about to be healed by Jesus Himself. Yet, if you were the lame man in that moment, so physically hindered that your whole life has been confined to this mat, you might feel devastated if it is one day taken away.

Jesus says to him, “’Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked” (John 5:8-19). In one moment, his band-aid – his immediate fix – has been taken away, but it has been replaced with total healing and freedom. I believe God is answering some of our prayers today with these words, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

I pray today, that as you process through the changes in your life that may feel like loss, that you would lean on the Lord to fill all that feels like lack. I pray that He gives you fresh vision and fresh anointing for this next season of freedom for you and for your life.

I pray that the Lord surrounds you with His comfort, His love and His wisdom. I pray that He shows you how to move ahead and how it is for your good. I pray that He surrounds you with Godly friends and influences. I pray that you learn to hear His voice above all else. And I pray that His Holy Spirit does a healing work in you internally as He has been doing in me. In Jesus’ name.

Sending you love, Sarah

The Goodness of God

I was recently asked to speak about the goodness of God. Oh my, this was the easiest topic to share about, because God is so good.

God in His very nature is good. He Himself is the definition of good. Just as Jesus is synonymous with the Word — “The Word became flesh and dwelled among us” (John 1:14) – so is God synonymous good. His goodness compares to none. Even Jesus, during His earthly ministry, said He himself had not attained goodness. [When called “Good Teacher”, Jesus responded, “Why do you call me good?… No one is good—except God alone” (Mark 10:18).] True goodness is God.

In “The Great Divorce,” C.S. Lewis said it well – “There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.” When we look to God, we are in the light, and we too are good: “If we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). When we turn away, we are in darkness.

Yet, though we turn away from God, He does not turn away from us. He is not like us. Even in our sin, our Heavenly Father pursues us in love: “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6). His desire is to be with us, to lavish love on us, forever. In fact, He runs after us with an unfailing love and so many precious gifts of His goodness.

Here are a few of the good – more than that, the great – things of God towards us!

1) His Love towards us

His love is far greater than our sin.
- “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:11-12).
Nothing can separate us from His love. Abba never stops loving us.
- “Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

2) His Presence in our lives

He is always present.
- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging” (Psalm 46:1).
Therefore, we can take refuge – we can hide – in Him.
- “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1).

3) His Promises are precious.

He always keeps His word.
- “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19).
God never abandons us.
- “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).
Therefore, we can trust Him.

4) His Protection & Plans

Because He is good, my future is secure.
- Here and for eternity!
Therefore, I am good!
- I am set. My feet are on solid rock.

5) His Healing
Physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually

He redeems! “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness— secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name” (Isaiah 45:3).
He restores! “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)

6) How Great Is His Call to Us Who Love & Follow Him

Because He lives in me, I can do good.

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased” (Hebrews 13:16).
Because He comforts me in times of trouble, I can comfort others.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
Because He is good and has good for me, I can smile at the days ahead.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25).
His goodness extends for eternity – not simply the here or now, but forever when we trust in Him.

Because God is good and He loves me, I know I am good, and I can do good to others! We cannot out run His love!

You Don’t Need Permission.

You don’t owe them an explanation for where you ended up.

Have you been playing and replaying scenarios in your mind to feel clearance or permission to step into your future – to step out where you know God is calling you? Some of us have selective hearing for fear of what others may think. (A person’s face may even come to mind.)

Don’t look backwards for some imaginary permission. Your life belongs to no one but God and to you. And He is merciful, forgiving, empowering, and emboldening.

You owe no one a signature to sign off on your life or moving ahead in your calling. The more tethered you feel – the more obligated, the more determined you must be to rise above, to keep on going, and to run YOUR race set out before YOU. Keep running!

About Jesus, they said, “Does any GOOD come from Nazareth?” (The irony of it is, Jesus Himself was the human expression of good.) And look at His example: He did not need their permission to live out His mission, to take the steps needed to accomplish His goal. He didn’t have their permission, and He didn’t need it. He kept on course. He went from town to town, doing GOOD and healing all who were oppressed by the devil. Jesus faced opposition, and He kept doing good.

Jesus was wise. He didn’t chart His own path. He didn’t lean on His own goodness. When called “The Good Teacher,” He said, “Why do you call me good? Only God is truly good” (Jesus’ words from Luke 18:19). He did as His Father told Him: “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does” (Jesus’ words from John 5:19).

Jesus went where He was told, and He left when He was told, saying “For my time has not yet come.” He came to do good and to accomplish GOOD. And He was going to use the wisdom coupled with the innocence He called His disciples to when He sent them out, being “wise as a serpent, innocent as a dove” (Jesus’ words from Matthew 10:16).

You do not need permission from those in your past to step into the good future God has called you to. To be like Jesus, you only need Father God’s voice guiding you, telling you where to go and when to leave. To do the good He is calling you to, you need only HIS permission. We need a sensitivity to hear His voice above all the rest and COURAGE to live in boldness, like the Lion of Judah, balanced with the humility to be like the Lamb, Jesus, as HE leads.

Go and do good. Go and do the good God has set apart for your life, for your future!

Forever Present

You were called by God to do the things God called you to do. You don’t always get to call it. And sometimes that is hard. And sometimes that is lonely. But I have found that Jesus is always there – wherever you are, even when you feel withdrawn and like you are nowhere at all. He is there.

And that is the thread… Jesus is the thread that weaves throughout our experiences, seasons and moments, that feel so painful, and joyful, and fragmented and robust. He is always there.

Whether you were called to be in your family, or you were called to a certain vocation, called to be the strong and silent, the loud and pioneering, or you were called to turn pain into compassion… the calling can feel lonely at times. But Jesus is always. Jesus is everywhere. Jesus is. He is with you, wherever you find yourself, plant yourself or end up by accident.

Look for Him. He is always there – wherever you are right now… in your lowest moment, your highest moment, in the darkness or in the light. Look for Him. He is omnipresent: present everywhere.

I feel a little low this week, but that is okay, because I know He is here. And His presence turns the low to high and the dark to light. Just knowing He is there makes anywhere okay.

Walk Away

Release. Resign. Renounce. Walk away from the darkness. Have nothing to do with it.Expose it for what it is. Renounce it from your life. Give darkness no power over your life, no time on your calendar, no fear over you mind, no platform through your discussions, no consideration in your plan-making.

“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11).

Expose the things that creep. Call them out by name. Renounce them in the name of Jesus, and walk away. Live, breathe, think, speak and act under the covering of God, under the protection of His angels, by the wisdom given to you through the Holy Spirit, and by the strength of God’s power, operating with the authority given to you in the name of Jesus.

Create. Plan. Paint. Laugh. Write. Cook. Shop. Raise your children. Use your gifts. Live your life. Rebuild the ancient ruins. Restore the places devastated in your life. Sons and daughters, prophesy. Young men, see visions. Old men, dream dreams.

Walk away from the darkness, that which is not yours, and step into His glorious light. Step into your gifts. Step into your calling. It is time to awake.

Wake up. Slumber no more. Fear no more. Freeze no more.

Look forward. Contribute beauty. Plant. Create. Plan. Invest. Pray. Trust. Live. Life is happening beneath the drama. Step out of the drama. Step out of the cloud. Walk away from the darkness.

Trust God more than you fear others. “The fear of man is a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is set securely on high” (Proverbs 29:25).

So, go live your life. It was given to you. What will you do with it today?

And, not or

God is the God of “and,” not “or.“

I have learned that God is the God of “and,” not “or.” Nothing is limited in Him and all things are possible with Him. God doesn’t love, bless and forgive me but forsake you. He is the God of “and,” not “or.” He loves, forgives, heals and blesses you, and He loves, forgives, heals and blesses me, even if you and I once hurt each other.

Apply this to your life: Could your situation – the one that rubs so harshly between you, like bone against bone – be “and”, not “or?” Couldn’t your experience be true and their experience be true? Could it be “and,” not “or”? Could there be validity in each? Things are complicated. Not everything is as black and white as our minds and pride might prefer.

Thankfully, God knows how to take complex, oddly shaped, uncomfortable things and redeem them through His love, to work together in love for our good and His glory. Our minds can’t comprehend it but God can clean, heal, purify and realign relationships, patching them together beautifully. But we have to loosen our grip, release our pride, extend our trust, open our hearts and watch Him, and wait on Him. When we do, He turns beauty from ashes.

Likewise, in my life I have learned that, unless there is a clear right and wrong as laid out in the Bible, when we as friends jump to “or” thinking in support or protection of our friend, who is in a disagreement with another, we do not truly support them as we may stunt healing and reconciliation. As friends or family, we do not have to “pick sides.” We can actually be peace-agents and used by God when we ask God to show us and guide us in His love for both.