inner healing – Sarah Guldalian

Beyond the Brand: Faithfulness over Fame

So many things are vying for our attention, serving as a distraction from the main thing — the greatest commandment— to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself”(Jesus; Matthew 22:37-39).

Last night I had the opportunity to talk about the importance of faithfulness over fame with my friend, Tricia Bartig, on her and Jayne Patton’s show, Unshakeable Hope with Tricia & Jayne.

Of course the time flew by, but as the evening marched on, I couldn’t help but continue to think on this topic. And, as I woke up this morning, this image came to mind:

Like a Barbie isn’t human, fame isn’t natural. It’s plastic. It’s processed — made by man. A Barbie doesn’t have a real heart. It doesn’t have a real soul. It’s not really a human. It’s counterfeit.

Somewhere along the way, we have allowed ourselves to envy dolls with fake mansions and plastic cars, with fake boyfriends and phony friends. We manufacturer our own lives with brands and images, fashioned by humans in exchange for real life formed by a real eternal God.

We humans are not self-made. As much as we would like to be so and say so at moments, we were actually made at conception — not at our personal favorite moment of success. We are in a dangerous position, walking a ledge, when we have created our own reality.

If you trade yourself in for a counterfeit version of yourself, don’t be surprised if you feel like you have lost your very soul in the process. In fact, it’s a very real possibility.

When all the spending, nipping & tucking, and image-projecting is done, we are still human, sitting alone at some juncture, pondering life and eternity, because what we have become as a society is not natural, and our very souls know it. This is not a game. It’s real life. Until we look at the motives of our hearts, we will not be able to change.

Where is this all coming from? What are we doing it all for? What is the motivation? It all starts with the heart. So, what is going on in our hearts? Why do we, as humans, seek this type of attention?

I have a few thoughts on why…

• For validation, to quill insecurities and to feed our egos

• From fomo (fear of missing out) – to receive the invites that make us feel like someone

• For influence, power or leverage — to call the shots in our lives and others, to feel elevated

Yet, too often, instead of looking at the motives of our hearts, we tilt our reasoning — we put a spin on it — to rationalize why our personal fame helps others.

My true question is: What good does one’s fame do for others? How can you, becoming an idol, guard your soul and help the souls of others? I argue that it cannot.

And, here’s why: We are called to make JESUS known, not ourselves known. You becoming an idol is inviting people into idolatry. But the very first commandment in the 10 Commandments says, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2-3).

As followers of CHRIST, WE should not be the object of other affections, of others worship. It is unholy to put ourselves on a pedestal. The higher we climb in our own will and own strength, the further and harder we will fall. I speak as someone who has been disciplined by my loving Heavenly Father because of my own sinful pride. He cares too much about us to let us walk the ledge. That is why it is so important that we slow down and truly listen for His voice.

Our Heavenly Father loves us — truly loves us — and cares so deeply about our souls. He wants us spiritually well for our eternity. He also wants us to live abundantly here on earth, which includes showing us the way to have healthy relationships. And that starts with being the person He created us to be with our identity rooted in Him, our true source of love.

When we become “famous” for a self-made construct, we are never truly known by others. In fact, we become leveraged for what we can do for others — used, pressured by demands, tracked for favors. Success according to the world actually puts a constant spot light on you that is unhealthy. It is like becoming a consumable product. People want and expect things from us that we cannot give and do not owe them with no good reason.

You may know Andre3000 from the band Outkast. He was once dubbed as one of the 100 most famous and influential people in the world. In an interview, when asked about his notoriety, he said, “Being famous sucks, because it feels unnatural, dehumanizing, and detrimental to mental health, altering how one moves and thinks.” From the outside looking in, millions wished they could have his life, but here he shares about feeling trapped by it.

Ultimately, we are not to be idolized. We are not God. We are incapable of meeting the needs of others. GOD IS THE SOURCE OF ALL FULFILLMENT– not me, not you, not them.

And the Lord knows this. He knows this is not His design. He knows the weight of the pressure that comes with this sin that so easily entraps us, and He wants us to be FREE. He wants us to introduce others to HIM as the source of fulfillment.

We are not God! We need to step back. He also wants each of us to be free, living from a place of Godly peace and love that shows us how to freely and joyfully give, not confined by pressures of this world.

This is why it is imperative that we repent for our selfishness, vanity, and pride (if we have found ourselves in this situation), and that we move out of the childish way of thinking of “What do I want?” to “What does GOD want for my life… and for theirs?” Make HIM known, not make ME known.

We as believers are called to SUBMIT and DELIGHT:

“Submit yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you when the time is come” (1 Peter 5:6).

And, “Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart” (Psalms 37:4).

When we submit to Him and delight in Him, He begins to heal our hearts, change our hearts, and purify our desires to be in alignment with His will. And, when He has done that healing work — disciplining those He loves (us) — and we humble ourselves, we can become worthy vessels of Him in this world who can leave a lasting, healthy, God-glorifying impact on this earth.

Finding Your Way Back to You

Life is a gift. Your life is a gift. It’s a gift to you from God, and it’s a gift from God to others. He created you and wired you with unique gifts and a distinct personality. He has put you in certain situations to help you develop characteristics, likes, and culture for you to enjoy and to connect you with other people who need Jesus in those cultures.

He also just plain delights in you. God delights in you. He just enjoys you for who you are — like I simply enjoy my kids when they tell me something funny or unintentionally make a facial expression I find to be so cute. They are just being. They’re just being cute. God just delights in you because you’re His kid.

God delighted in the idea of you when He planned you. You have always been planned. Your first day and your last day on this earth were planned. The moment you were conceived in your mother’s womb was your first day, and He’s been doing amazing feats since then.

You are unique, and you are wonderful the way you are. Yes, the world has impacted you and tried to take away the beauty of who you are, but God has even created a way to get you back to who you were made to be — someone who is spotless and without shame because of what Jesus did — to get you back to who you are and who He created you to be.

And so, be you. Be that person — the way God created you to be.

You walk through days, cultures, situations and pressures that do not honor who you are or how you are and in those moments. Without even our knowing, we sometimes adapt too far to fit into that culture, that situation, that group, and we find ourselves surprised one day that we do not feel like our true selves. We do not feel like ourselves. We feel lost, muddy, and confused. But we don’t have to stay there. We can go back to who we really are.

It takes work. It takes focus. It takes “yes” to the right thing and “no” to the wrong things. It takes courage to be who God created you to be, especially when it goes against the grain of the culture you’re in. But you don’t want to just adapt, to become what everybody else wants you to become.

You don’t want to be a chameleon that fits into every situation. You won’t feel okay, because you aren’t being truthful. You aren’t being truthful in who you really are, and you are not standing up for who you really are. It’s important to do that. There are ways to do that, to be gracious and to say, “I think I’m going to pass on that opportunity,” knowing you want to bypass on that pressure. You can say, “I’m busy today,” or, “That doesn’t really fit into my 5-year plan.”

It is also OK to realize that you’ve gotten into the wrong situation, and it’s time to change. It’s time to find your way back to who you are and how God made you, because after all, we won’t feel peace, we won’t feel fulfilled, until we are living in the fullness of who God wired us and created us to be.

So, do the work. Do the work it takes to be you, to allow yourself to be you. Say the “yes”es and say the “no”s. Make the moves that you need to make to fully live in the calling that God has given you. It’s worth the work.

What is an example? An example might be that you’re trying to fit into a certain role or a certain group. You’re trying to talk the way they talk. You’re trying to look the way they look, behave the way they behave, but you feel like you have sold yourself out. And that’s not okay.

You spend more time with you than anyone else, and it’s important to be who you are, to enjoy who you are, to enjoy who God made you to be, and not to change yourself to be someone that you are not to be accepted by people that you weren’t called to walk with.

So I just wanted to encourage you (and myself) today to fully be who God created you to be. Make the changes it takes to do that. Then, you can be fully known by other people and feel fully loved when they love you.

You’ll laugh more. You’ll feel more fulfilled in the work that you’re doing. You’ll enjoy yourself more in your “yes”es and feel less guilty in your “no”s as you move ahead. And, like I said, life is a gift, and you will enjoy your life so much more, which will show as you experience joy and shine brightly.

Forgiveness: Surrender & Heal

Forgiveness. It is a hard topic. Your stomach may be churning just seeing the word.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to speak about forgiveness at a women’s conference. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the attack I felt leading up to it. After all, the last thing the enemy wanted was for 100 women to experience spiritual breakthrough. Yet, Jesus always wins, because greater is HE that is in us than he that is in the world.

Forgiveness is paramount to restoration — to freedom. If you have been locked in the hurt, pain – even torment – of unforgiveness, the Lord wants you free. When we surrender to Jesus, we can forgive, and we can experience newness of life. I want to share this message with you in hopes that you too will begin to experience breakthrough from forgiveness.

Forgiveness is spiritually sacred.
It is the reason Jesus came to earth.
Forgiveness was the rescue plan.

But the enemy does not want you free. He wants you in bondage. So he works and works to keep you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally chained to a person who hurt you. Why? Because, if he can keep you trapped in unforgiveness, you will waste time and energy – maybe even your whole life – thinking, stewing, and worrying about that person who hurt you more than you fix your eyes on God. Doing so can keep you from your entire call here on earth — to love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22).

Forgiving is one of the most necessary verbs or actions in life. It is not optional.

Why? The moment each of us was born into this world, we became subjected to the fall. We became sinners. No exclusions. We began to hurt people and to be hurt by people. The Bible says, “There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

There is literally no way around being hurt. And therefore, there is no getting around forgiveness. Even if you try to avoid people most of the time, there is still YOU. You hurt God, and you hurt yourself. (So do I.)

There are no innocent sins. There is always collateral-damage with sin. Sin is not God’s design. It separates us from Him.

When we sin, shame sets in – a weight we were never designed to carry. It makes us hide – from the light, from others, even from ourselves. Think about Adam and Eve in the Garden: Up until the point they ate the forbidden fruit, they had been communing with God daily. Yet, when they sinned, they became ashamed, and they hid from Him.

We are ashamed of the choices we have made that have hurt us and hurt others. We feel the weight of our sin — There is a price to pay for sin. Romans 6:1 says, “For the wages of sin is death, BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Our response to feeling that weight of sin might be shame. Or, it might be to protect our own ego and our reputation at all costs. When we take this route, we conceal, deny, or bargain away our sin. (“It’s not that bad — it’s not as bad as what they did to me.”) That can deeply hurt others. And, it can lead to self-loathing, because we know it is wrong.

Because the Lord’s desire for us is to be free of shame and commune with Him again, He tells us to confess our sins to Him: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). When we confess our sins, He takes them, removes them from us, and casts them away.

He is the one who can purify us – the only one who can purify us. We can’t fix ourselves. Our “goodness” is like filthy rags. That is why Jesus came to make a way for us back to the Father. He stepped in, because of His great love for us.

Romans 3:24 – 25 says, “And all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate HIS righteousness.”

We are forgiven. Praise God! And yet, it is crucial that we note this: It is not because WE are righteous – even us church ladies. It is because GOD is righteous, and it is by HIS grace that WE are forgiven.

Forgiveness is at the very epicenter of Kingdom living demonstrated by God Himself, lived out through Christ. It is available to us, and it is to be available through us, because of the Spirit of God living in us. Therefore, it is crucial, even mandatory, that we learn to forgive and learn to apologize, because none of us is perfect or without sin.

As followers of Christ, called to humility, we should become quick to repent and quick to apologize – to God and to others. Equally, we must learn to forgive. The more quickly we can forgive, the healthier we and our relationships will be. Both are necessary, because these are acts of obedience as we follow in Christ’s steps by imitating Him in forgiveness.

And He knows that we simply cannot bear the weight of carrying all of those burdens around. Walking around with unforgiveness is like walking through mud. We can barely make it through a day. Yet, we are called to do more than just survive a day. We are called to thrive, so we must forgive!

When we hear the term “forgive,” our minds usually go to the face of another person who has hurt us most. However, the truth that we often suppress, but carry with us, is unforgiveness towards ourselves. We must learn most of all to forgive ourselves.

Once we take our shame to the Lord, confess our sin, and ask Him to heal us, we are washed in His love and overwhelmed by the goodness of His forgiveness. His grace and mercy help us learn to have grace with ourselves.

We begin to gain confidence from Christ instead of our own goodness. When we grow confident in His love, we are able to show ourselves grace. And when we learn to show ourselves grace, we live with greater honesty, because we recognize that our wellbeing does not hinge on us being right. We recognize that we needed forgiveness, that God gave it to us, and we can freely extend it to others like Christ.

My desire for myself and for you is that we live FREE. Yet, we cannot live free when we are walking in unforgiveness towards ourselves or others. So, let’s talk about “others.”

Let’s talk about the pain that has come from people who do not acknowledge their sin – their trespasses – against us and may never acknowledge or apologize for the hurt they have caused. I have had a lot of talks with God about this – a lot of questions. These may be some of the questions you have had too:

– Am I called to forgive them… even if they aren’t sorry?
– Am I called to forgive them… even if they continue to trespass against me?
– Or, am I absolved for my unforgiveness because of their behaviors?

Then, looking inward, I have asked myself:
– If this person continues in this behavior, or they never apologize for something so hurtful, WILL I ever really be able to forgive, even as much as I try?

The answer is, YES: We are called to forgive.
And, NO: We are not absolved in our unforgiveness.

Why? Because we are submitting to the LORD when we forgive. We are surrendering to HIM by obeying Him. We are called to forgive by the One seated on the throne of our lives — Jesus Christ.

In the Prayer Jesus taught His disciples (us) to pray from Matthew 6, He says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I will admit, that has been a hard one for me over the years: I will be forgiven in the same measure I give forgiveness?

Like you, a face often pops into my mind when I hear the word “forgive.” When this person comes to mind, sometimes my stomach still hurts. Sometimes I start to feel fearful. Sometimes I start to feel angry. And I have asked the Lord all the questions I mentioned above.

For a long time I held out hope that this person would care about and acknowledge the hurt they caused. Yet, once it became beyond clear that they did not and would not, I realized reconciliation was not possible, and I finally closed the door. At times, though, I will admit, it has caused me to ask the Lord, “Does this closed door mean that I have not forgiven?” In fact, this very topic – the topic of forgiveness – is a hard one for me personally.

1 Corinthians 11:28 says, “Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup.” So, before I take Communion, I ask the Lord, “Have I forgiven?”

I have a sweet friend who I meet with weekly for encouragement and accountability. One day I asked her, “Do you think I have forgiven?” She is a very thoughtful, deep person. She paused and said, “Yes, I believe you have. It is not a one and done. You have to continually bring it to the alter, and I believe you have.”

Her words reminded me that forgiveness is a daily choice.

Some relationships or situations will never come with an apology, but it is pertinent we forgive in order to heal. So, how do we do that? We fully surrender to the Lord.

When we feel those nerves – that hurt and anger – we surrender it to the Lord in each moment. We ask Him to take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. When we continue to go to the throne room when we feel that hurt, that rejection, we bring it to Him. What do we do from there?

The question some of you might be asking is, Does forgiveness equal reconciliation?

Dear friends of mine, Lenny and Jennie Barber, pastor a church in Ferguson (St. Louis), called The House. Lenny recently began a new series called, “Golgotha,” leading up to Resurrection Sunday, addressing the real price Jesus paid for us on the cross on Good Friday. The first week of his series was on Forgiveness.

What Lenny said really helped me on this very topic in a timely way: He shared that Jesus, knowing what would soon happen to Him – knowing He would endure unbelievable torture and be put to death – and knowing WHAT He would be called to forgive, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Then, he shared this: Forgiveness is made available to everyone. (Period.) YET, that does not mean they are reconciled. Forgiveness requires one side. Reconciliation requires two. Jesus died once for all. Reconciliation was only for those who repented. That really helped me. And that might help you too.

While we are not called to reconcile with everyone – because we cannot control them or their choice – we are called to forgive.

What else does Jesus tell us to do to those who have hurt us? He tells us to pray for those who have persecuted you and spitefully used you. Can you pray for them?

I will admit, I am a work in progress. It has, at times, been hard for me to know what to even pray for a person who has hurt me so badly. I just can’t find the actual words to say many times. Yet, my relationship with Jesus is the most important thing to me. He is my Savior and Lord. So, I want to obey Him.

When I start to freeze, and I cannot find the words to pray for a person who has persecuted me or spitefully used me, I have found this to be helpful: I begin to just pray blessings over their family. That is very easy for me to do. I want them to be well.

Lastly, I want to share a beautiful story — the story of a time I received an apology from someone whom I least expected it:

Years ago, I worked with someone I really liked, but it was clear the feeling was not mutual. It was a confusing situation for me, because we were always part of important work and close-knit teams, and we never had a falling out. Yet, there was palpable tension and, what seemed like, active opposition to my projects. After many years of working together, I left but it still baffled me. I had never figured it out.

Seven years and two jobs later, I was in my office, when I received an email from this person. We had not kept up at all, and so I knew it took effort on her part to find my work email. What it said brought me so much healing.

Ultimately, she shared a bit about the season she had been walking through personally and confessed that, although I did not have anything to do with that, she had taken out some of her hurt on me. She shared that the Lord had since done a healing work in her heart, and she wanted to apologize to me for how she had treated me.

Honestly, it blew my mind. Not only did it bring clarity and healing in this situation, but God used this apology to bring about healing in me beyond what was needed in that situation.

Yes, this person hurt my feelings. But what she didn’t know was how much I had gone through since then (unrelated to her). Through the hurtful experiences I had since walked through, I had begun to believe I did not matter and my feelings did not matter to others. Yet, her response to the Holy Spirit convicting her, and going out of her way to find me to take accountability for her actions and apologizing, it actually brought me healing beyond her words.

The Lord used her to show me I was worth the effort of others, that I was worthy of dignity. He also used her as an example to me of how to apologize and take accountability for my actions and behaviors towards others. And then, it created a bond of love between us as sisters in the Lord that hadn’t been there all those years before. What a blessing. We still message each other to encourage each other to this day. That was a gift in my life.

When we confess and apologize…
When we surrender and release…
When we forgive and leave it with Jesus…
We heal.

When we invite Jesus Christ, the light of the world, to flood us with His light, He shines in every area of our hearts, souls, and minds. He overcomes the darkness. And light heals. He heals us.

No longer are we dry and dying in the wilderness of our own sin…
Not only do we survive, but we thrive. We become abundant, full of love. And this love can spill out on others. We are free, and we are effective.

The Bible says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

When we allow the Lord to renew us – to renew our hearts and our minds – we look different. The love, the healing, and the freedom of Christ changes us. And, when He does, our thought-patterns change. We become different. We act different. We become wiser, full of grace and love. We become a joy to spend time with. We even enjoy our time alone more.

Renewed thinking might look like this: When we get tempted to judge someone else, to put on pride and to become “Church lady,” the Lord reminds us of what He has done for us, and we learn to apologize quickly.

We learn to take prideful thoughts and cast them away. “We break down every thought and proud thing that puts itself up against the wisdom of God. We take hold of every thought and make it obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). We ask the Lord to replace our pride and sin with His grace and love that He has shown us.

When we mess up, we repent quickly to the Lord, and we apologize quickly to others. And when we honor God and love others, we live without weight. We bless those around us again, because we are well. We shine the light of Christ into the darkness. And Jesus reigns through our story. We have the victory!

I have created a Forgiveness Worksheet designed to help you spend time with the Lord, asking Him to reveal areas where you need to surrender, and to ask the Holy Spirit to help you take the steps to move forward in your healing. To access this worksheet, click here.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

Guard Your Flame

If you have read my writing for a while, you know I have spent years learning about and sharing on the importance of boundaries. Today, I want to share one of the reasons boundaries are so important, especially as it relates to living out your God-given calling.

Most of us grew up singing (or have heard) the song, “This little light of mine,” written in the 1920s. It originated from Matthew 5:14-16 and has now been taught and sung by children for over a century. The chorus goes like this:

“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine; Oh, this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.” Many recall the second verse, which says, “Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m going to let it shine.” I want to focus on the third verse, which says, “Don’t let Satan blow it out! I’m gonna let it shine.”

Since being tiny kids, we were taught these important lessons:
1. We are called by God to be light.
2. We need to guard that light.

The foe wants to put our light out any way he can. As life goes on, we very really see how the enemy sends gusting winds to try to blow out our light. We see how he sends in oppressive darkness to try and overwhelm it.

Thankfully, we as Christians know that “a light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5). Yet, if we begin to care more about what other people think than what God tells us to do, we will unplug from our light source and can easily be snuffed out.

This is where boundaries come into the picture: One of the ways the enemy works to put our light out is by smothering it.

In Ephesians 6:12, the Bible tells us that the war we sense all around us is a spiritual battle. It says that we war not against flesh and blood but against rulers and principalities. Yet, the enemy can use people as a tool in an attempt to smother us to try to take our light.

Here’s why: When we shine the light of Christ, the enemy is threatened. He will do anything to make your light fade — anything to minimize, even eliminate, your effectiveness. One tactic I have seen him use is sending people into our life to smother us. And when we get smothered, we get overwhelmed. It is a physiological response.

And when we get overwhelmed, we get distracted from our calling, applying our full focus there, striving to find clarity in confusion, just to find breath again. This is why it is so important to be on to the enemy’s schemes and to both know and firmly maintain clear boundaries — to protect our peace and protect our calling.

Through years of experience and taking steps to gain strength through the Word of God, guidance from the Holy Spirit, healing in counseling, and knowledge from authors like Dr. Henry Cloud, here is what I have learned:

When people become comfortable blowing past your boundaries, you need to create distance. That is not to say we are not gracious as we set boundaries with people, as there is some understanding that must first be set. Yet, when I see a trend of someone overstepping my boundaries time and again, I become aware of the enemy’s schemes as well as their comfort with it.

If you have been in this situation – this smothering – you are aware of the darkness that attempts to set in and rob you of your time, your peace, and your own free will. That is not the Spirit of God. Jesus Himself gives us a choice to receive Him, because of His true love for us, and He is God!

When people blow past your boundaries, pay attention to that. When they attempt to force themself and their motivations onto you in a way that wastes your time, robs you of your peace, and distracts you from your calling, pay attention to that! If you bring it to their attention, they receive your boundaries and adapt, that is awesome! That happens in relationships. If you bring it to their attention and they do not, there is your answer. Waste no more time or emotion. Ask the Lord to take care of them, and continue forward with your God-given calling.

After all, you are called by God to steward the resources He has gifted you of time and focus. How you choose to use that is between you and God. We are accountable to God. Someone who attempts to slide into the place of God in your life is a counterfeit that does not belong.

It is imperative we are aware of the enemy’s schemes here and that we work to stay away from that darkness — that we protect our light. Because the Bible tells us to have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather to expose it (Ephesians 5:11). And there is no playing around here. There is no dipping your toe in to stay “good” with people, whose actions are attempting to snuff out your light, without you being affected by the dark. We must guard ourselves in order to walk in and remain in the light of Christ. That means moving on from some relationships.

Go into this ready that the enemy will try to then heap guilt on you in the form of sentimentality and loyalty. The foe will attempt to warp your sense of reality around that relationship as you look back to make you feel guilty, get sucked back in, and get distracted, and trapped, to get off of your calling. Don’t. Stand firm, rooted in the Lord.

I say this, because I have also learned about our own weakness in this process: In many cases, it is our own pride that keeps us in toxic relationships. We do not want to be unliked. We do not want to skew their perception of us. We do not want our reputation tarnished by not living up to others expectations of us. Yet, that pride and fear can throw us completely off course from the life God has called us to.

Do what is needed to stay in the light. Say the hard thing. Create your distance. Hold firm to your boundaries. And do not take responsibility for the emotions of others that do not belong to you. Pray for them, and release it. Their problems are not your problems, and they are above your “pay grade.” Bring them to the Lord, leave them there, and then continue on your path.

We must look to God only – Father, Son & Holy Spirit. When we do, He will remove us from unhealthy relationships and place us in healthy, fruit-producing relationships. He will give us the steps to love people well — not overly, not under — love without compulsion.

Learn to listen for and obey the Lord when He tells you to keep on walking. It may not make sense to you at the time, and it may even make you “look bad” to those who don’t understand. But this is where we choose to trust and obey God, who will always keep us on course inside His will when we look to Him.

On my journey towards laying and maintaining my boundaries, I have also learned this: It is hugely important to have the right people around you in order to live out the plans and purposes God has for your life. The kind of people I am describing are those who respect the boundaries you lay, because they genuinely care about and respect you and want to see you succeed.

Guard your heart, even your circle. Find the people who submit to God and respect the boundaries you lay. Do the same for others. And keep on shining!

Receiving Jesus as your Savior

“Thomas said to [Jesus], ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him” (John 14:5-7).

We all want to know where we are going when, one day, our earthly bodies fail us. We know we are finite. And none of us can deny we have failed — sinned. We know our own failings greater than anyone. We all, at some point, feel lost.

The GOOD NEWS is that we are not groping around in the dark for the answer — for the path.

JESUS. He is THE way. Jesus is the answer. There is simply no other way back to the Father, to eternal life — to the life God designed us to have. There is no other way but Jesus.

Thankfully, Jesus loved us so much so that He freely gave His innocent life – in the most gruesome death – to pave the way for us back to the Father, back to Himself (as God) to spend eternity with Him.

Do you know Him? He is not some far off entity. He is near. He is one sentence away. Call out to Him. Say His name, “Jesus.” He desires a relationship with you.

The Bible says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved” (Romans 10:9-10).

It doesn’t matter where you are, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done. You are never too far gone to receive Jesus as your Savior. And, when you do, you can have full assurance of where you are headed at the end of this earthly life.

And, oh, how freeing and peace-giving it is to have the assurance of eternity with Him!

If you have never asked Jesus to come into your life, but you are ready to ask Him to be your Savior, I invite you to pray this prayer today:

Dear Jesus,

I need you. I need your help and your healing in my life. I invite you into my life to be my Lord and Savior.

I repent for my sin — for the things I have done that have separated me from you. I repent for trying to make myself, others, and things gods in my life. I confess that you, Jesus, are the only way, the truth, and the life.

I receive your free gift of salvation today. Please remove my sin from me and make me a new person. Please forgive me. Please heal me and show me the way to walk.

In your name I pray, Jesus, Amen.

If you just prayed this prayer, congratulations! You just made the biggest and best choice of your life — one that will impact you for eternity!

I want to encourage you to download the YouVersion Bible App to your phone to hop into the Word of God, God’s love letter to us, where He speaks directly to us on every area of life! Start in the New Testament, in the book of John, and read through the Gospels. You will be encouraged and nourished through the words of Jesus Himself!

And, if you are a woman who would like to walk alongside other women through Bible Study, I encourage you to invite me at The Rooted Sisters online or in-person, where we meet for Bible Study the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month at 7:30 am central and for Prayer every Friday morning online at 7:30 am.

Sending you the love of Jesus! – Sarah Guldalian

Jesus: Light of the World

This world is dark, yet you do not need to fear the dark. Instead, put your trust in God.

“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant? If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God” (Isaiah 50:10).

His light and His power are far greater than the darkness. Jesus has already defeated the devil.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5).

Jesus is the light. He was not and will not be overcome.

“While I am in the world, I am the light of the world” (John 9:5). – Jesus

And, He invites us, those who believe and trust in Him as their Lord and Savior, to shine brightly in this dark world for Him.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

The Bible also gives us a warning:

“But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires. This is the reward you will receive from me: You will soon fall down in great torment” (Isaiah 50:11).

We are not the source of light. On our own, we are still groping around in darkness. If we attempt to lead others in our light without Jesus as the source — the Authority in our lives, we lead them into darkness, as well meaning as we may be. It is a dangerous venture.

But, when we invite Jesus in – Light Himself – He shines into our depravity, exposes what is hidden, floods us with healing, and fills us with His light. We become the light of the world as He shines through us.

And, as we go out into a dark world each day, His light radiates through us. We become vessels – conduits – of Christ, shining for Him everywhere we go. And this can lead others to Him, leading to eternal life for them!

Though some places might alarm us, by how very dark they are, we can feel confident remembering that light shines into the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Therefore, we need not fear the dark. Instead, we become bringers of the Light when Christ dwells within us. And, in doing so, others will experience His powerful light and be brought out of their darkness into the glorious light of Christ.

So, wherever you go today, shine. Shine everywhere you go. Shine always, knowing He will always be with you, lighting the way, when you make Jesus your Lord and Savior, and follow Him.

The Tangible Presence of God

Before God descended to earth and revealed Himself as a human in flesh as Jesus of Nazareth, He revealed Himself to the people living in Old Testament times in numerous tangible ways all throughout.

He was tangibly experienced as a pillar of smoke, a pillar of cloud, unconsumed blazing fire, and wind. He is seen and experienced over and over by His people in a tangible way.

He is very practically seen by Moses and the Israelites as He travels with them on their journey as the cloud by day and fire by night: “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night” (Exodus 13:21).

God’s presence is so supernatural, and yet He comes to us through elements we can see and sense in this life, with the power and comfort of His presence, and the functional help of light and protection.

The Bible tells us that, in the case of the Israelites, He served tangibly as a cloud for covering and as fire to illuminate the dark: “who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way in which you should go” (Deuteronomy 1:33)

As time moved on, and we moved further and further away from God, God came down to us in the form of a human – as Jesus – to walk with, live with, to physically see and touch. And He left His divinely miraculous handprint on the earth through tangible healings. Most importantly, He used His divinity, His humanity, and His never-ending love for us to break us free from spiritual bondage.

Then, when He ascended and went back to heaven, He left His presence with us through the Holy Spirit — a tangibly seen and experienced mighty rush of wind at the day of Pentecost.

And He left with us a physical representation of Himself with us, through His divine power at work every day, in the form of food – something we can hold, taste, and smell – through communion, as a regular reminder of His available healing and forgiveness for us every single day as we move through life.

God is close to us, and He wants us to very tangibly experience His presence in every decade, era, century, and millenium. So, He comes to us as fire, wind, a cloud, in the flesh, and even as bread.

God is real, and He is speaking to us. He desires to have a relationship with us, because of His unconditional, unconsumed love for us as a present Father who provides for and protects His children. His love for us is powerful, mighty, undeniable and unending. He is so, so good.

Prayer Thank you, Father, for always being present, for always loving us, and for always providing for us – your children. I love you, Lord! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Be Healed.

When you surrender to the Lord, invite Jesus to come into your heart and do a healing work in your life, just watch Him. He will do it.

And, when you walk through this process with the Lord, and the Holy Spirit brings you healing, be healed. Be healed.

Leave it. Leave it all in the past. And move forward in your purchased freedom — a heavy price fully paid by Jesus.

In John 5, Jesus healed the leper. Then, He told him, “Pick up your mat and walk.”

Though his identity had been tied to being under, though his identity had been tied to being sick, overlooked and forgotten, Jesus healed Him and told him to get up and walk out of that history — out of that identity. It was time to move forward.

In John 4, Jesus saved an adulterous woman from being stoned to death by an angry mob. When every condemner had gone, Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.” He saved her life, and then He called her to walk into a new life — a life no longer plagued by her sin and her shame.

I feel convicted that, for some of us, including myself, we need to understand the moment we are in – the healing we have been given by God – and we need to make a deliberate choice to leave our hurt, heartbreak, feelings of rejection, feelings of victimization… we need to leave it in the past.

If you have invited the Lord in to do a healing work in your life, and He has healed you, be healed.

In Ecclesiastes 3, it says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens… a time to weep and a time to laugh … a time to mourn and a time to dance … a time to tear and a time to mend.”

For some of us, the weeping has taken place – maybe even for decades – the mourning has happened, taking from us long enough, and the Lord has come in to heal us, bring us laughter, and bring us dancing. He has healed us. So, let’s be healed. Let us enjoy the freedom He bought for us.

If you gave Him your past and He has healed the past, quit telling the story. It is another person’s story — not your own. It no longer belongs to you, and you no longer bear the weight of sharing it.

I shared a story the other day of the past, and it felt so odd to me, so alarming. I felt like I had hijacked someone else’s story and was parading it as if it was my own. I was so confused by how unsettled I felt by telling it, when it is historical.

I asked the Lord why I was so bothered, and He revealed to me that it is because He has healed and restored me — that story no longer belongs to me. I surrendered it to Him, He released me of it, and it is now gone. I am a new creation, the old has passed, and I am made new. Therefore, it is not my story to tell.

Working with the Lord to be healed is a beautiful thing. When we go to Him and ask Him to reveal truth to us, He will. He showed me very specifically what part of my history is gone, because I am healed, and what I need not speak of any longer, because I am healed.

Perhaps, like me, you have surrendered hurt and heartache from your history. However, because it became your story, you adopted it as your identity. But, I believe that the Lord wants me to share with you what He has shared with me:

You are no longer sick.
You are no longer in shame.
You are no longer a victim.
That person no longer exists.
Those stories no longer belong to you.

You are free.
Walk free.
The Lord is writing a new chapter in your life and giving you new, beautiful stories to replace those with.

I love you all.

Our Bodies Matter.

Our bodies matter to God. There is a reason He thoughtfully decided to create each one of us and put us on earth. In fact, it is absolutely amazing to think of the great lengths and stories God has done to place us here.

Our son was conceived after we had people lay hands on us and pray for my womb when I was infertile. My system did not get straightened out through doctors before I conceived. I conceived when it just plain didn’t work and hadn’t worked for some time. It was God’s supernatural power at work.

I think about amazingly powerful people in God who would not have been here through the hands of men — multiple abortions performed that never took. I think of the life and cycle of conception and gestation alone, in every, single woman. And it is a miracle. An absolute miracle. I ate brownies, ice cream, and hamburgers, and I got these beautiful children. Nothing I did created the beauty and uniqueness of these physical gifts. God wove them together as a masterpiece.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

There is a reason God created bodies and that He put us on earth together – That He Himself even gave up His divine freedoms as Jesus came to earth in a body, confined to time and aging as we all do. Bodies matter. And the Bible talks about what our bodies will one day look like when Jesus comes back. Bodies matter.

We know we are not citizens here on earth. Our permanent residency is in heaven. Yet, God chose to create us uniquely this way for a reason. There is nothing accidental about it. We were not some random result of science. God Himself created the earth and everything in and around it. So our bodies matter. They have purpose.

What we do with our bodies matters. How we treat our bodies matters. How we treat the bodies of the conceived matters. How we treat other people’s bodies matters.

We are actually called to worship God with our bodies. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship” (Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬).‬ This is one of the reasons I love the arts, especially as they relate to worship unto God.

I am prone to cry when I watch my mom or my friend, Vesta, use their bodies as vessels of praise through dance to worship the Lord. I am prone to awe as I watch my precious friends, Clifton and Eva, use their voices as vessels of worship to God. I am prone to awe and wonder as I see my husband and the musicians of StikYard use their bodies and instruments to powerfully worship God through sound and movement.

And the same rings true of my friends, Debbie Morris and John Morris, who utilize the food and exercise God designed to strengthen and heal the body. And I am so grateful they use their knowledge to teach others to honor their bodies, to honor God’s creation and His call on lives. Bodies matter, and the way we treat them matters.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Our bodies matter. And they confound us. I admit that I have struggled with this over the years — having a crooked, turned spine that can cause me pain, debilitation (since 10), and changed my shape. I admit I have struggled with how to eat and played with my diet to manipulate my body in unhealthy ways. I admit I drank too much when I was in college so I no longer want to touch the stuff. My body has confounded me at times – many times, and frustrated, I have not used it for worship.

Yet, God created me. He created this body, and it matters. It matters enough to be around for almost a century to be a walking instrument of worship, so it needs to be respected, loved, and tended to. I am working more and more on that. And I do thank people like Debbie Morris who inspire me with the how.

Today, maybe you want to join me, in giving back your body – and all that goes with it – where our feet take us, where we take the time to be, what we choose to eat, and how we choose to treat it – for God’s glory, with honor and respect for His creation. (If so, feel free to pray this along with me.)

Prayer

God, I love you. Thank you for creating me. Thank you for creating this body in my mother’s womb. Thank you for choosing me to be here to be part of your big, beautiful story.

I pray Lord that I would honor you with my body. I pray that you would show me how to properly tend to your creation – this precious life – and that I would use my body as worship, a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you.

Thank you for caring about my body. Thank you for healing and restoring my body from damage and removing pain. I give you back my body and my time. It is yours. Help me use it as you have designed to live out your purposes for my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You Have Issues.

Do you ever find yourself thinking, even saying, “I have issues”?

The truth is, we all have issues. There are no people who have no issues. (Yes, you read that right.) The people who seemingly have no (or less) issues have either put in the time and work to get to the other side of (some of) them; or they exert great energy to keep them from surfacing. Why would ~~they~~ we do that?

As someone who has had lots of issues over the decades, let me name some of the reasons we exert such great effort to conceal them:

To simply function.
To feel some semblance of control.
To feel accepted by society.
To avoid “bothering” others.
Because of stubbornness or pride.
Because of fear.

Now that I have named reasons we conceal our issues, let me also label the above as things that will keep us from being healed if we don’t release them.

I am sometimes on the other side of (at least the majority of) my issues, and sometimes I am smack-dab in the hot, sticky mess of issues. Sometimes I played a role in the creation of those issues, but a lot of times, they came out of nowhere from truly unexpected people and places.

When I am doing well, people ask how I got victory over those insanely crazy things. Let me first say, never did stuffing or concealing heal me. I once took pride in the fact that I didn’t cry for a decade, especially considering my experiences in that decade. But I won no trophies. Instead, my emotions came out as (lots and lots of) panic attacks and anorexia.

For each of the issues I have (to some extent) overcome, there is one common thread — I put in the time and really uncomfortable work to acknowledge and address those issues. And I never did it alone.

I have learned that healing takes time, but it’s not the kind of time people talk about, like “Time heals all wounds.” Time itself does not heal all wounds, especially if you marinated in a chaotic environment that created issues within you since childhood. Likewise, it’s not like living two years past a horrible trauma can suddenly – poof! – make you better. Clocks don’t do that.

The way time heals us is when we invest time in our healing. When we quit running around like a chicken with our heads cut off (avoidance) and set aside time to address issues, to get to the root of them, and deal with them, then time helps heal us.

There are some very precious people and actions that can aid in our time of healing. If you are looking to heal, to work on some of the issues that plague your thinking, rob you of peace, and attack your nervous system, you can!

Let me first say, I am no counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a mess. But I am a mess who is constantly being redeemed and refined by the grace of God. (And like any true mom, when I find something that works, I am telling the world!) So let me share the actions and people who have (and do) help(ed) me.

People We Need

The Holy Spirit!

There is no lasting healing without the Lord. Period. We are too tangled and locked up for any human alone to heal us. But Jesus left His precious Holy Spirit with us when He ascended as “the Comforter” to bring us comfort, wisdom, and peace that surpasses our ability to understand.
Friends – actual friends (You know what I’m talking about.)

If you have a friend who repeats what you say in confidence or judges you when you are truly yourself, that is counterproductive. This is not the friend I am talking about, no matter how long you have been friends.

Connect with a friend who you know your heart is safe with, who you truly know wants to see you walking in joy and freedom, even if they are decades older or five years younger.
A Counselor

Counselors know how nervous systems work. They know how trauma works – how it impacts our brains, our bodies, and our relationships. They have tactics to help us move past the hurdles that keep us from healing to keep moving towards healing.
Community

We can’t heal alone! We need to talk to people. We need a hug! We need understanding. We need empathy. I don’t care how independent you are, you need this. We were wired to be in fellowship with others. It’s how God made us.

Actions We Can Take

1. Be willing to go “there” with your friend – to let down the façade and show them who you really are and what you are really experiencing. We all innately desire to be known, but we will never be known unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

2. Be willing to look weak, to even have hand tremors, by talking about the scary things that need light shone on them. Don’t be afraid of your own fear. Keep pushing ahead!

3. Be willing to have triggers.

Drive down that particular road to get to the place you need to go to get help. Be willing to go to that restaurant that reminds you of that experience if it helps you get through it. Push through!

4. Invest the time and money to go to counseling.

If they don’t take insurance but you have the money, do it! Your peace for the rest of your life – shoot, even for today – is worth the investment! Or, if you don’t have the money (been there), ask if they have a special program or know of one, they can refer you to.

I have been investing the time in all of the above – these relationships and these actions; and I can honestly say they have helped me so much. Not all of my issues are resolved. (In fact, I just laughed out loud at that notion.) Some issues may never be until heaven. I have gained so much, though.

I have truly experienced full freedom in some of them, developed rich relationships in the process, gained coping tactics for some that stick, and I have gained a lot more courage and fight in me by acknowledging and addressing these issues. And, honestly, I feel more loved — because I have learned so much about God and myself in the process. I have also given others a chance to truly know me, and so I know their love for me is genuine. That is a real gift from it.

Yes, it takes time, emotion, energy, and maybe even money, to heal from issues, but you deserve freedom! Invest in your healing. You are worth it. You will truly feel proud of yourself for being a good friend to yourself in the process. And that alone has truly helped me hold my head up high.

Sending you love, Sarah