forgiveness – Page 2 – Sarah Guldalian

Courage

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

Anything that you have been called to do will require you to be courageous – whether it is waking up in the morning or living out a calling that exceeds your experience. In today’s world, even smiling at a stranger requires courage. To stand with the Lord and rebuke darkness takes courage in a dark world. Everything requires courage.

Meanwhile, our nervous systems are overstimulated and easily triggered. The weirdness of the world, even in just a single moment in a public setting, could trigger us. But we cannot back down… not from our calling, not from our kindness, not from showing up.

The older I get, the more I realize courage is like a muscle. It develops as we trust God, believe that He is with us, and that He indeed fights our battles for us. It grows by pressing ahead through obstacles and seeing victories by the power of God.

I say it regularly, and I will say it again today — to you and me both: Do not be bullied out of your calling. Do not allow others to scare you off of the path God has placed you on. Ask God for courage. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself – to speak truth – when you need to. And keep pressing forward.

Don’t Back Down.

Have you ever walked into a meeting, feeling the palpable tension in the room — difficult dynamics and confusion? Or entered an event with a pit in your stomach knowing someone there was ever-ready to antagonize? Ever experienced a confounding – even dramatic – situation that could easily have been pleasant?

Some situations and relationships cause us to ask ourselves and God a lot of questions, like… Why? Why does it have to be like this? How do I navigate this? Should I even bother showing up? Or should I just give up and throw in the towel ? Maybe I should back down?

I have admittedly thrown in the towel on some pretty major things in my past because it felt easier. But the Lord has been developing spiritual and mental fortitude in me. And today, I feel led to encourage you with this:

Step up. Don’t back down. God is preparing a way for you.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:5-6).

You have everything you need walking into that environment. He has prepared a place for you. And His goodness, love, and protection are far greater and longer lasting than the antagonism you are up against.

Don’t be bullied out of your calling. Do not forfeit your calling to quiet your nervous system, or those loud voices used by the enemy. Choose to hear the voice of God, your Father and Lord, louder than the antagonism of the enemy.

Trust God more than you fear the enemy.

God says you can. The enemy says you can’t. But, make no mistake, God is more powerful. Jesus conquered death and has the victory over all. And so do you when you yield to the Lord and look for His approval only.

So, be brave. Be confident, knowing God’ love and goodness follows you everywhere — in that meeting, at that event, in that encounter. He has called you to show up, and He is making a way for you.

So pull up to the table, knowing you have access to the wisdom of God in that moment by yielding to and drawing from the Holy Spirit. The Lord is available to you in that moment through His Spirit, and you lack absolutely nothing with His love in and around you.

Releasing a Dream

I feel encouraged to share this today…

That exciting thing you wanted, that God said “no” to, that you continue to process and feel hurt by, may not be what He was saying “no” to at all.

It may have been the crippling debt, distraction, time loss, physical exhaustion, illness, and hindrance to your priorities and true area of calling that He was actually saying no to.

After all, He is your Protector and Provider. He sees more than each of us, and He loves you too much to let your life and calling go to waste.

Let this one go. He has better. It’s coming.

A Prayer of Surrender

Are you feeling broken? I invite you to pray this prayer of surrender with me today.

Dear God,

I feel broken some days. Today is one of those days. But I know I will be okay, because you are with me – inside me, beside me, and before me. You are even behind me. You have held my hand through all of life’s struggles.

And I know that, just because I am broken doesn’t mean I am discarded or disqualified.

You used the broken throughout history, all throughout the Bible. And you accomplished great things by your power at work through them.

So I surrender my way, my brokenness, my ideas, my solutions, my insecurities and my pain. And I ask you to put your love, your strength, and your power inside me. Pluck me off my course and set me on your way. Direct me on your path.

I thank you, Lord, for using me, even as a broken vessel. And I thank you for healing me. I am dependent on you in every way. I thank you that you are my Provider, providing in every area.

I give you my day, my week, my month, and my life. Have your way, Father. Use me to be a part of your redeeming work on the earth. May your name be heard louder and lifted higher than any other name or word from my mouth.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

A Question Worth Asking

We spend a lot of time in life asking, “Who am I?”

The answer to that question is available to us in the Bible: We are humans, male and female, created by God, in His image, fully loved by Him. He desires a relationship with us — one that lasts for eternity, because He loves us. So, He came to earth as both man & God – Jesus – to make things right on our behalf to make that possible. And, He calls us onto His mission of sharing His love, hope, and salvation to those around us, because He loves them too.

And so, while we can be confident in who we are, as we look into the Word of God, there is a different question I believe we might ask ourselves:

“What kind of person do I want to be?”

You have that choice. I have that choice. God gave each of us free will. He already created who we are, and now it’s the free will side of us that each of us must reckon with. We must each wrestle with and decide the kind of person we want to be then take the action steps to be that person. And there is nothing passive or ethereal about it. We each have a choice.

If we have used our free will to make bad choices in the past, there is good news: It is a new day. And the Bible says God’s mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness.

If you have made bad decisions until today, you are not the only one. But don’t allow that to define you any further. Decide what kind of person you want to be from now on. Then take the steps to make things right, apologize, and then get going on this new path you are charting for your future. It may feel daunting, and you may have a lot of people to apologize to, but change is possible! Ask God for His help and for wisdom on what steps to take.

Connect with someone you look up to, who is walking the path you want to take — with character and integrity. Share about where you are and also where you are going. Receive support and prayer. Find new, healthy locations to hang out in — church, the gym, gathering with healthy friends.

This is your life, and you have the power to decide who you want to be. You have free will. And continue to reflect on this as you make daily decisions, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

And if the person you want to be feels far from the person standing in this current moment, reflect on this (every day!)… even speak it out loud:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

So, I ask today — to both you and to me: What kind of person do you want to be?

I pray that God grants you the strength to be that person by His healing you and through His power at work within you in Jesus’ name!

Feeling Weary?

Feeling weary? Burdened by your own sin? Riddled by anxiety? Quit looking to yourself. Quit looking to others. Stop looking at the problems or the insurmountable mountain ahead of you. Fix your eyes upon Jesus.

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

“For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

“Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:1b-3).

This painting is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It hung at the top of the stairs in my grandparents’ house. I lived with them as I finished high school, until I went off to college. And, truth be told, I wasn’t making the best choices those days.

But I would come home late, after going to concerts and parties, knowing full well I was not living like I felt called, knowing I had made mistakes. But, the way the front door opened, the first thing I would see was the face of Jesus, at the top of the stairs. His eyes were kind, not condemning, gently reminding me I was not alone, I was fully known, and I was still always completely loved.

Now, 35+ years later, it hangs in my foyer – again, as the first thing I see when I enter the house. And its serves as a reminder that Jesus is with me — that He is peace, He is love, and He is my anchor when the world swirls around and my thoughts do too. It reminds me to just keep my eyes fixed on Him, both the author and the perfector of my faith. He is faithful. [I love you, Jesus!! Thank you for your loving kindness towards me!]

There Is Hope

There is hope for us – for all of us.
The most messed-up of us.
The hurt, the broken, the shamed.
The isolated, lost, & afraid.
The emotionally-decimated of us.

We have wandered.
We have strayed.
We have lost heart and faith.

We have made our own way.
It hasn’t worked.
We know… And it hurts.

We have hidden away, slipped away…
Hidden our hopes, our dreams,
even our sense of dignity.

But we can come out of hiding,
And return to the Lord,
Just as we are –
As messed up, lacking
and sinful as we are.

We must face the facts.
Waste no more precious time.
There is no pulling ourselves up…
No “snapping out of it” that sticks…
No “getting over it” that heals…

We simply can’t do it.
We can’t fix ourselves.
And we can’t fix each other.

But, there is hope.
There is hope for you.
There is hope for us.
There is hope for me.
No matter the situation…
When we come to Him…
When we draw near to God,
To our Father and Creator.

God is our healer.
He is the healer.
Healing begins the moment you return to Him.
No reason to wait, or shave or cleanse.

Come to Him now, right where you are.
Hang up your hurt, and put on hope…
Experience isolation drift away
as His Spirit comforts you.

Give away your broken pieces,
And receive wholeness.
Find your way again… yourself again,
As you were created – in love – to be.

There is hope – for you and for me.

A Time for Grace

\\ a call for reconciliation among people //
_

I really want you to change. You are hurting my feelings, and it is breaking my heart. And, as you do, a crust forms around my heart, slowly hardening it, one layer at a time.

Perhaps I will just wear it like armor. It will become a fortress around my heart and keep me safe so you cannot get in. But why does it still hurt?

Ah… I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel right. It feels wrong. This isn’t me at all. Something is very, very wrong here. But will it ever change…? Will you ever change? How can I make you change?

[epiphany] I m u s t c h a n g e.

… For just as I am faced with your aggression, so are you encountering mine. And as we meet, we mirror and we match, and unfortunately, we grow… puffed up with ego and pride to protect our broken hearts.

But we are the same. We have the same hurt… and when we hurt each other, we heap hurt upon ourselves too. After all, we were both made by God, made equal in His eyes. For He loves you as much as He loves me. We together are His children — brothers and sisters.

We are a mirror… your hurt like mine. But I do not want to mirror your aggression, nor should you mirror mine. If we grow, let it be in good. If we accelerate let it be with peace.

What if we start over… and we try on grace?
But how do we begin?

Ah… I will start… for when I do, you will encounter grace, and I will feel peace for I will be the me I was created to be. And grace has a way of spreading, and loosening, and softening those who are near.

So, yes, today I will change. I will put on grace, and I pray that you see it. Far more than you see it, I hope that you will feel it… that you loosen, that you soften, that you experience the good side of me… when I am no longer puffed up with pride but swelling with love.

And perhaps when you do, you will put down your sword… and after awhile, maybe you will find you are safe. And when you have, perhaps we will speak instead of shout… listen instead of lecture… love instead of blame.

And perhaps we will get back on track. And we will both live the lives we were called to live.

Yes. Today I will try on grace.

Finding Our Way Home

The Lord is always calling us back, reminding us of His great love for us. He is a just God, and He is a good God. He knows there must be atonement for sin, that our sin debt must be paid. Yet, He cannot handle, He cannot fathom, living apart from us. He grieves deeply when we walk away from Him, even when we wander. As our Creator, He knows we are created, even wired, to be in relationship with Him.

We as parents become desperate when our young child wanders away. They are looking for freedom, yet we know what lurks around the corner, and so we desperately desire to help them, to protect them, because we love them.

God feels this way about us: He loves us, wants to help us and protect us, because He sees the pitfalls and the pain that lies around the corner. He sees if our ways are leading to death, and He so desperately wants to intervene to stop us from sabotaging ourselves.

Yet, in His love for us, He has given us free will. He does not want to control us. He wants to love us and be in relationship with us. Yet, we have a choice: To walk hand-in-hand with Him or to set off on our own.

So, He calls out to us again and again. He speaks to us in a still, small voice, guiding us. He speaks to us through nature – His creation, through music, through others. He speaks to us so clearly and directly in His Word, the Bible. He ever desires to be in relationship with us, now and forever.

I’m reading the Bible, in the book of Hosea, about God’s people, the people of Israel, walking away from Him. After guiding, leading, protecting, providing for and loving them, they have walked away from God and chosen their own projects over Him – lifeless, silver idols. You see a desperate Father who sees His children are headed for death – the just consequences of their choices, but He cannot bare it, though they have turned their backs on a relationship with Him. Yet, He does not give up on them, and He never gives up on us.

Eternal death was their consequence for sin, and so this loving Father determines to conquer even death for them. He says, “I want to free them from the power of the grave. I want to reclaim them from death” (Hosea 13:14).

Instead of death, what they deserved – what we deserve for our sins, He says, “I will cure them of their unfaithfulness. I will love them freely… I will no longer be angry with them. I will be like the dew to the people of Israel. They will blossom like flowers” (Hosea 14:5).

As a just God, He knows their sin must be rectified, yet His loves leads over anger, and He brings a cure: The cure is love. And so, He sends love into the world to rectify wrong. Love conquers. Mercy triumphs over judgement.

God sent Jesus to conquer death, to take on the consequences of our sins in our place, so we could be made right with God and spend eternity with Him. And Jesus, God in the flesh, the light of the world, the very person called “Love,” in His love, laid down His life by death on a cross to restore our brokenness, to make us right with God.

This is love.

This is God.

This is Easter.

Love has a name. His name is JESUS.

Jesus is calling you. Your Father wants to spend eternity with you. He changed it all, conquered it all, with you in mind. In His love, Jesus, the one who IS Love, died for you, rose for you and lives for you today. Will you live for Him, with Him, for eternity? Not one thing separates you from this opportunity.

If you want to receive this gift, the removal of your sins and eternity with God in heaven, as well as His love, protection and guidance in this world, whisper (or shout) this prayer…

God, I admit I have sinned. I need you. I surrender my life to you. I can’t do this on my own. I cannot live this life as you desire. I pray that you would help me. Jesus, I acknowledge that you are Lord, that you are way – the only way to the Father. I receive you as the Savior of my life. Save me. I invite you into my heart and into my life. Please forgive me for my sins. Heal me. Please help me. I want to walk with you, God. Please show me how. Please heal me and guide me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

The Gift of Pardon

“God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

Mercy, def. compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm

In our anger and fear, we jump to conclusions, point our finger, and judge. Yet, consider this: Our anger, striving, jealousy, and desire for revenge, can cause us to see things through a tainted lens, distorting the truth. At any time, because of our sinful nature, we may actually be the one in the wrong – and only us. In our fear of being slighted, we may become the oppressor in need of mercy.

Though we say we should not trust others, even other brothers and sisters in Christ, the truth is, we should never fully trust ourselves. We are sinful, emotional, and reactive, and in need of God’s mercy all the time… ^“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Therefore, it is so very important that we, “speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:12-13). And, oh, how we are in need of mercy every, single day!

Along the way, sometimes in embarrassing ways, I have learned how wrong I can be and how much mercy I require from the Lord and those around me. I have learned the importance of seeking counsel and a Godly sounding board to better process and understand a situation. I have learned the danger of processing on my own, in my limited, sinful view, by seeing the harm it can cause to relationships. I have come to see how easy it is to feel right and justified in anger. My, what a strange phenomenon that is to me! Our anger and adrenaline cloud our view and suddenly make us feel like a genius. Meanwhile relationships are damaged.

Through my experiences of judging others and myself through a skewed lens, the Lord has taught me ways to judge others more rightly: I have learned to judge a person by their fruits, not by my emotions. And I have come to see that this takes time, experience, and observation, not simply raw emotion. I am still learning to catch myself in this. I must remind myself to put this into practice when I begin to feel myself quickly judging a person or situation.

“Judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement” (James 2:13) So, I will sow mercy because mercy is granted to those who sow it. And I need mercy at any given time, even in moments when I don’t yet realize I need mercy or how important mercy is to me in that situation.

Let us sow mercy bountifully, recognizing we may be wrong at any given time, and we may not learn that until later, when we come down from our emotional high or have had time to reflect. Take into account how many times in the past you were wrong when you were so confident about being right in that moment. Think about the number of times God showed you mercy and bailed you out from the dire consequences your behavior deserved. Consider what Jesus did to redeem you from the pit of despair and the pit of hell because of His mercy for you, for us.

The mercy Jesus has shown us in the here and now and for eternity is so vast, so great. The mercy, compassion, and love He has poured out on us is a gift, nothing we deserve. And, if you can’t in your emotion remember all that has been given to you when you did not deserve it, at least consider walking in love and showing mercy as a gift to the person on the edge of the cliff.

“Be devoted to one another with brotherly affection, give preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10).

Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt and lavish mercy freely, knowing we need that mercy just as much. And let us remember that it was mercy and love that led Jesus to the cross to forgive our debt of sin, sickness, pride, anger, and shame. His love and mercy showed us preference over His perfect, sinless life here on earth.

Mercy and love led Jesus to the cross. May mercy and love guide us through our day. May mercy and love lead in our interactions, in our relationships, and in our decisions. We must lean into the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts, our minds and our emotions to do so. His love and mercy are available for us and through us when we submit our lives and surrender our attitudes to Him.