Faith – Page 5 – Sarah Guldalian

Never Alone

God has brought me through so much. He has never left me. He has never abandoned me. I can never thank Him enough. So I’m just not going to stop. I can’t and simply won’t hoard this good news to myself:

Jesus saves. He is the only one and only thing that saves us from the pit and depths of despair, loneliness, trauma, abandonment, grief and failure. Just call out to Him, “Jesus, Help me. I need your help.” And He will help.

God is an ever present help in the time of trouble. And He can put a new song in your heart, fresh vision in your mind, trade joy for despair and dancing for mourning. He is so, so good.

Psalm 46

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

^”The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

“Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.’

“The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

Community Matters

I am a people-person. I love people. I know God made them in His image and created them because of His great love for them. It is important to me to see people — to truly see them, to see their hearts, especially women.

We as women are doing so much — nurturing those in every generation, all at the same time, as we also strive to steward our gifts and our time to work and provide a living, while often times also trying to serve our communities. It is beautiful. It can also be a lot. And we need friendships, community, and encouragement.

I know that, when my time and focus is primarily focused on tasks and deliverables, I am out of alignment with how God wired me. He created me to be an encourager and a listening ear. He has brought me through so very much that I want to comfort others with the comfort He has given me. Yet, my time has barely allowed me to care for myself at times.

And so, for quite some time, the Lord has been working on my heart to be more in alignment with His heart for me — to be in greater community and in deeper fellowship with my sisters in Christ, seeing and hearing their hearts to a greater degree… more than tasks, more than deliverables.

And so, in this season, I know God is up to something — retuning my habits, my focus and my schedule — to put my days back into alignment with my heart and His desire for me. He created me – He created you too – to be in community. He made us to be in relationship with one another.

For me, my community is The Rooted Sisters, a ministry for professional women that I have the blessing of leading. God is up to something amazing in this ministry where professional women gather to study the Word of God, grow in their faith in Christ, and learn to lead others to do the same. It is an honor to put my heart, focus, and energy here. This means stepping back from other projects and tasks to step up here. And it is a beautiful gift to do so.

For the women reading this, who are so craving community, as well, I invite you to join us through Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings, Equipping Webinars, Fellowship Events, the Christian Business Women’s Breakfast, and so much more. These are rich relationships, centered around Christ, where we truly uplift each other.

Standing On Business

My son used to use this phrase, “Standing on business.” It means he has firmly resolved his stance on a matter, his feet are planted, and he will not move. He knows the truth, he knows who he is, and he won’t be tricked.

He has done a lot of work at a young age to get there, and I respect it so much. His resolve gives me courage. It inspires grit in me, because it took until my late 30’s to overcome the intoxication of people-pleasing with popularity as a carrot.

In many ways, I learned this lesson the hard way: Popularity is a master.

Popularity makes people and their fickle preferences your intention. It puts people- many, many people- before God. It creates idols. It puts the leader of the pack on the throne and makes their social customs law in your life.

You cannot serve God and man. You must decide who you will set your intention – your gaze – on… whose customs you will follow. And that will determine your outcome.

At the start of many negative outcomes is a desire to be popular – to be accepted by man. What I have been asked to do in my life to be accepted is defiling – a bending, even a breach, of integrity and a betrayal of self. I will not serve man. I will not take the bait or tilt to the manipulation anymore.

I look at Daniel from the Bible, who would not eat the king’s food because of a conviction and honor to God. Some would ask, “Why not just eat the food? You eat food any way!” Daniel felt convicted. He knew in his heart it was manipulation and that it would defile him.

Daniel knew that fear would give way to sin if answered. And he would not, could not make the king an idol. He would not, could not put anything or anyone on the throne but God Himself. And so, while it may seem like a small concession, it would mean betraying his heart and turning his back on his spiritual convictions, and he would not do that. A heavy price was on the line — his life, but God saw, protected and spared Daniel for obeying him.

When we put Jesus on the throne — Jesus and only Jesus – and not the fear of man, we will most certainly be asked to make concessions by man. They may even ask, “What’s the big deal?” or question why. But you do not answer to man. And you do not have to. You are not obligated to. And knowing this — that you are not obligated to man — is exactly the point.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:26)

I will serve God only, and I will listen to my conscience as I make decisions. And it may not make sense to others. It might mean I will not gain friendships – even lose some. But I only want what God has marked out for me. And I want no time wasted, appeasing or making concessions for the sake of popularity, as I learned in college (and even since), that in the end… no one will stand by you. Shirk one demand and you are alone, feeling drained and devoid of integrity.

But when I have set my intention on God and have followed His lead, I have felt brave, fulfilled and bare much fruit. And I would rather have one or two good friends who support me in my walk with the Lord and respect my convictions than a crowd of strangers who brand me with temporary approval.

Prayer: God, Help me to chase after you. Help me set my gaze and my intention on you. And may it never wain. With every decision to make, may I hear your voice guiding me louder than the scoffers. And give me the courage and the clarity to follow you each day — to walk the unique and distinct path you have called for my life.

God, You have never, ever failed me. In the rearview, I see now that what felt like loss along the way was your hand of protection. You are Lord of my life, and I give you the reigns. May your voice always be clearer and louder than fear. And may I choose to follow YOUR voice all the days of my life.

Thank you, Father, for loving me and giving me confidence-for giving me companionship, and for protecting me from idols and distractions. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Guided by Principle

Popularity is a fruitless effort. How could one possibly know what the other is thinking and feeling at all times, let alone a number of people? Does one even know how she or he feels at any moment in time?

Popularity is a waste of time — even a waste of life. Not to mention, boundaries are crossed, responsibilities shifted, and hearts crushed at every turn. It is a journey we have all taken at some point just to find ourselves lonely, hurt, or confused along the way.

I have experienced a lot — ups, downs, and all arounds. And I choose the route of principle. Friendships are beautiful and necessary. Yet, friendships are very different than being or doing what is popular. When you are guided by principle, it will be much easier to select friendships that result in love and growth.

This is what I am teaching to the next generation: When you know who you are, what you stand for, and what you won’t fall for, it means you simply can’t morph. And that is my advice, for any of us at all ages — Don’t morph.

Don’t betray your heart at the chance that you will be accepted one day. That one day might be fun, but I’d rather have a friend who sits with me on my worst day and supports me through it. Thank you to my sweet friends, of all ages and stages, who have done this for me along the way.

You Are More

How do you determine who you are?
Is it based on what you do?
Is it best on how you feel?
Is it based on where you came from?
How you make your living?
Who your friends are?
Where you grew up?
Your professional title?
Your past?
Your physical attributes or abilities?
Your strength and determination?
Is it based on what others think about you?
Is it based on what they think about your kids?
On your relationship with family?
What high school you went to?
What zip code you grew up in?
The brands you wear?
How do you determine who you are?

I have lost jobs and gained them.
I have gained clients and lost them.
I have lost weight and gained it.
I have gained strength and lost it.
I have lost popularity and gained it.
I have moved from anger to love and love to anger.
I have lost family and gained family.
I have lost friends and made them.

I have never lost Jesus.
When all else wained, He never did.
He has always remained the same.
He is the most consistent aspect of life.
He is all eternal. His love is forever.

The most defining and consistent identity marker for me is this: I am a child of God.

Praise be to God who never changes.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning” (James 1:17).

Great is Thy Faithfulness.

Stella by Starlight: Junie-babe

I grew up in North/Northwest County. When I was born, we lived in Overland. My dad was in the hospital dying, but my Grandpa Jim swooped in and transported him from his hospital to mine last-minute so he could see my birth. The doctors almost didn’t let him in, because of how sick and emaciated he was.

My mom expected to raise my brother and me alone, but God did a miracle and healed my dad and eventually brought him home. But things were tight. My parents didn’t have income, but my grandparents and people from their church blessed them to help with childbirth and food until my dad was able to get back to work. My grandparents were there at my birth and with me nearly every day until they went to heaven.

My dad healed, got back to work, and my parents built a house in St. Charles on Towers. [Both of my parents are extremely hard-working people.] We lived there until I was five, when we moved to Virginia Beach for my mom to attend Regent University and work with the Christian Broadcasting Network.

We moved back after 2nd grade, and we lived with my grandparents – my best friends – until my parents found a house to rent in Maryland Heights just seven minutes away. My grandparents were over every day or we slept over there routinely. If I wanted McDonald’s, they made sure we went. They were always available for everything.

My parents then bought a house in Maryland Heights, where I grew up from 3rd grade through the beginning of my junior year of high school. My parents both worked, so my grandparents took us to school, picked us up from school, we stopped and got snacks afterwards, before going home.

Same with every sport. My grandparents were both avid athletes. They picked us up, attended, and took us home from baseball, soccer, and swim team. Same with our play and musical practices. I swam for Bridgeton for 10 years for the coach my mom and aunts had swam for. My grandparents were literally always on the sidelines cheering and yelling for us. I can hear Grandma yelling, “Go, go, go!” very loudly and vivaciously. lol

My grandpa, who was always at the house, finding something to fix – a way to be there for us – had the temperament of my husband — very calm, steady, hardworking, sharp as a tack, with each sentence he shared holding meaning and bringing peace. He was an angel to me. I needed him as we had some struggles, and he was always there for me.

He taught me “to stay in my own lane,” to “not look to the left or the right” — analogies that worked for competitive swimming, but also to life. He also taught me to “never love something that can’t love you back.” To this day, I could care less about my clothes or the inanimate objects that get donated or pitched.

My grandma celebrated literally everything. When I started puberty, I got an ironed $50 bill in a card, congratulating me for becoming a woman. And every single season and holiday… and even day… was a reason to celebrate. She was full of life and vibrancy.

My grandparents were huge community people. Living in the community of Carrolton Oaks in Bridgeton (since my mom was a baby), they both served in Bridgeton. They were at the Community Center every day, as avid athletes, and they served on boards and committees for Bridgeton.

My grandpa fought the City of St. Louis, with Bridgeton, on the runway that would run through their yard. He fought it for over a decade. [The airport would eventually tear down Carrolton Oaks and evacuate my grandparents and neighbors, but the runway would never be built.]

They helped the Senior Olympics here in St. Louis for at least a decade and took home nearly every single gold. [I saw the myriad and wealth of their metals yesterday.] We got to serve there, with cute outfits, free snacks, and fun mascots. My grandpa played football as a Razorback in college and then was on the squad as a kicker for the Detroit Lions after. My grandma swam a mile every, single day until her 80s.

My grandma was a support to every person in her life — her husband, her children, her grandchildren and her friends. Every Christmas, family from all over the country, would get a green or red calendar with the schedule of holiday events, and the same for Summer Vacation (here in St. Louis), which would include the Arch, the Zoo, Union Station, Grant’s Farm, the Muny, Cardinals games, the Adams’ Mark, Ted Drewes — everything St. Louis and everything American. [She grew up on Arsenal.] She loved musicals, so I do too.

If you said “shut up” or “hate,” you owed a dollar. Her belief was in edification… “let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” She didn’t drink, and she had hilarious alternatives for swear words, like “fooey!” She called the refrigerator “the ice box” and the trash can “the waste basket.” lol

My junior year of high school, my dad would take a job in Milwaukee. It was a no-brainer to my grandparents – I would live with them. I had my own room anyways, and I was always with them. It was settled, it was perfect, and it was one of the very best times of my entire life. I lived with them in Carrolton Oaks until college. [They had to move Freshman year of college because of the airport expansion. Now there are chains, vines, and “No Trespassing” signs off of Natural Bridge where our neighborhood used to be.]

They tutored me. They took me to my orthopedic appointments for my back (and always celebrated with ice cream or lunch after, regardless of the prognosis). They came to any performance, rehearsal, Parents’ Day or Parents’ Weekend at every school including college. My grandma helped plan my wedding. [I had no clue, and I knew she loved all of that stuff. She made it really classy, and most of my cousins were in it. She loved her family fiercely.] She was ALWAYS taking pictures, which is where I get my love for photography.

I’ve spent every holiday with my grandparents, with very rare exceptions as I’ve aged. They have been my second parents my entire life. At moments, my first. I had my grandpa until I was 30, and I had my grandma until now — 43. I am incredibly blessed.

I won’t lie; I have struggled to find joy in moments based on pain-points in my family of origin. I know all families have had problems, and mine has been no exception. But having the spunk and joy of my grandma, the support and devotion from my grandpa, and their solid faith to back me up, it has made all the difference in my life.

Today, I am just relieved and happy for my grandparents. They are with Jesus in heaven, which is designed the way God intended for us to live. Their bodies are whole and so is their joy. And I will be reunited with them too one day.

I have been laying low to prepare for my grandma’s celebration of life and to allow myself some feelings. I’ve determined this — I am the legacy of my grandma… she is the paradigm of the Godly, hard-working, family-oriented woman, and the epitome of a doting wife. She was strong and passionate but the most supportive woman I have ever encountered.

And so, I will bring the joy and the spunk to the world that she taught me to bring, to light this place up with Jesus and His love. Time to chip away at this shell and get to work!

Out-of-Body Experience

For the Pioneers

I have always been pioneering – thinking, seeing, dreaming into the future. Sometimes I can see myself, see my family, in that place… a place of effectiveness on a grand scale, a spiritual standing ground, a place of impact or influence for the kingdom of God and in the marketplace. I can see it.

And in those moments, those gifts of a moment, where the Lord has gifted me with a vision, I sometimes get too excited, to rambunctious, where impatience sets in. I begin to see a gap – from where I am now to where I will be then.

And in that moment, in that gap, when you are at F on the map and God shows you L, it is far to easy to quickly scramble to create a plan to get there… when you see the result but have not yet been given the road map on getting from F to G and then from G to H.

The pioneering person can see the future so clearly at moments that it is as if you are having an out-of-body experience, and you must run to catch up with yourself. It can feel as though you have lost yourself to the future, and you must go on a quest to meet there.

But I have learned (and will probably learn some more) to not set off running to that place, even as beautiful as the vision may be, without first getting the road map from God. For, far too often, I have set off running only to find myself living somewhere in between where I was never intended to reside. God had L for me but I’m living in the land of J, even seemingly trapped, because I lacked the patience and fed the impulsivity to run ahead without getting God’s road map for the journey. And J was only ever meant to be a hotel stay, no place to reside.

And let’s think about those places, those in-between places… Think about the timing of a thing. When you land in a place really matters. For, at a certain time you will encounter different people and different circumstances then you might 20 minutes later… and all of these things matter. God uses people, He uses relationships, He uses circumstances to form us, to shape us, to develop us, to prepare us, even transform us, into the person we saw in the vision.

And the kind of relationships that we want – ones that are healthy, where iron sharpens iron – are found at a certain time in a certain place. Think about it: Meeting someone at 2 pm daylight is different than meeting someone at 2 am in the middle of the night. The people at those times will be different types of people. And what I truly want is to meet my 2 pm relationships, the circumstances with sunlight… I want to only step foot and tread ground where God tells me to and when. And so, I must trust Him for the entire journey.

The difference between who I am now and the person I see in the vision is transformation. And there are no short cuts for transformation. The Holy Spirit is the author and we must yield.

And so, when gifted with a vision, with the beauty of this thing, I must thank God for the vision. And I must temper my impatience to sit where I am until He tells me to go. And then, I must be willing to go at the pace He sets, even if its inching like a turtle rather than stampeding like a rhino.

For visions – grand, holy visions – are not ours. They are Gods. And for those visions to come to pass, we must do things God’s way. And so we must look to Him as the compass. We must stop in our tracks when we are lost and wait for our Father. We must temper the wild abandon that sets us off running, and tell our nervous systems to submit to the will of God and the direction of the Holy Spirit.

For then we will reserve our energy and our focus and our gaze for the things God is focused on and gazing at. And we will see His purposes come to pass in our life, in our lifetime.

Pioneer, Fight the urge to run. You are here… you are now… for a reason. He will show you where to go and when. And when He says, “Go,” do it His way.

The Weight of Trust

“I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you…” These are the first three lines of a worship song I was listening to yesterday by United Pursuit, a band I love. I just had the Pandora station on rotation, but hearing these lines stopped me in my tracks.

I’m not used to saying these words. I mean, how many people can you really say that to? Some people have a hard time saying, “I love you.” I don’t. I have always loved people. I love being around them. I gain energy from them. And I love encouraging them.

I grew up in a church with pastors who, when you ran into them at the mall, even after a long time, would always tell you they love you. And they truly meant it. Their kindness showed, and it felt like love radiating through them. They were an awesome example of loving others and always letting them know.

But trust… trusting people… oh my. I have some work to do there. Clearly some healing is needed. And oddly, when you come to learn that you can’t trust people you thought you could, you lose trust in yourself. You lose trust in your own discernment. And then a wall of protection forms. The problem is, that wall keeps the good out too.

As I hear the words, “I know that I can trust you,” I stop, I listen, and I feel. And I am saddened by the baggage I bring to new relationships, that it takes me so long and such depth of interaction to even slightly trust others. I have work and healing to do there. Maybe you do too.

Trust is weighty. Trust bares the responsibility of integrity with consistency. Trust bares the weight of care, to care more about me than about the interesting conversation you could have about me for 10 minutes with someone else.

For me, trust means being safe even when you are angry. It means loving me outside of what brand I’m representing, what amount of money I make or where I choose to place it. Trust means you assume the best about me even when you hear the worst. It means being who you said you were last year this year. And so it is hard to trust because, after all, people are people, full of hurt, pain, and trust issues of their own.

I hope one day I will trust people more, that I will go deeper quicker. I believe I will because God is a healing God. And lately He has introduced me to more people who deserve to be trusted. And wow, that is a gift. It has shown me that I need to heal, and people are worth pulling my wall down for.

But the truth is, we all mess up, every single one of us. Even the saints of us sin and fall because we bare human flesh. Others will let us down… those very close to us. And we will let ourselves down. As much as we want them to be trustworthy, we too will fail. It is hard for each of us is human after all.

Yet, we can fully and wholly trust God. He always has our best in mind. He always gives. And He never changes. His love towards us never changes. When we trust Him, we will never regret it.

God always overdelivers. He always gives us more love, more abundance, forgiveness and goodness than we deserve when we put our trust in Him. No one can ever talk Him out of loving us or even liking us.

We can trust Him – fully and wholly trust Him. He will always love us. He will never leave us. He always helps us, no matter what the topic or issue, large or small. We can trust Him because He knows all, His ways are best, and He always has our best at heart.

Prayer

I come to you, Lord, trusting you with all that I am and all that I have. Sometimes it feels like very little if only a hot mess. And I need your help… to have courage to put my heart back out there without a wall around it, to trust you for wisdom and discernment and protection and healing as I do, as I seek to go deeper with others.

I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you… And that you will help me. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Shifting Sand

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:21

What are you building your life on? What is your foundation? What are you revolving your dreams around? Where do you put your focus? Is it worth it? Is it worth a life? Is it worth your life – your time, your energy, and your fixation? The decisions we make, usually with time limitations, are based on where our focus lies.

It feels easier, clearer, and more pragmatic to make decisions based on what we see, what we can touch, what is right before us. Yet those “real,” tangible things are most breakable, most perishable, and fragile.

Grasp your glass of water or that vase on your table. Holding it brings a sense of confidence. Our skin tells our nerves to tell our brains this is real, and we feel a strange sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Yet our skin itself, our bodies, they too, though seen, felt and tangible, are also breakable, vulnerable and one day will perish. Those things seen, that are physical, that our eyes can gaze upon, are actually most fragile, and should be trusted least.

But, ah, how tricky it is to trust and to have faith in those things we cannot touch… Yet, most solid, most reliable and trustworthy are those things our hearts and our spirits know that our skin cannot perceive: The power of God at work in our lives, the sacred bond in marriage, or with your child… These are the most reliable foundations for our lives.

Though our skin, brains and nerves trick us into believing the here-and-now, the things most obviously perceived, are most reliable, our souls, our very spirits, know the truth… that our focus, our lives, our dreams, our hearts are safest in the hands of God. And yet, His ways often feel unknown to us. The most trustworthy of marching orders, though often given just one at a time, are found in relationship and conversation with Him.

Though we seek to control the course of our lives, such as physically gripping and following a map, all things will perish but what God orders, what He commands, what He calls into being. Like a man’s footsteps wash away with the tide, so do our plans, made apart from God. Yet, no one can stop what God has planned, and why would we want to do anything outside of His will?

Trust Him today. Though you feel out of control, just putting one foot out in front of the other, we are truly safest when we make God our foundation, when we put our trust in Him and focus our lives around Him. I am reminding myself to trust today, to take one step at a time in faith, following His lead. Though I feel scared, I know there is no safer place to be than beyond myself and in His great big will for my, for our, lives.

On His Throne

Turning on the TV or powering up your device might be enough to turn your stomach these days. The culture stirring around us feels negative, even corrupt, and this contentious environment can lead us to grow disappointed, even insecure. As I have processed my own responses to these tumultuous times, I have come to identify the root of my fear. Perhaps you can relate:

When the corrupt seemingly prosper, we can believe that God allows evil to slide. And when we do that, we grow insecure, believing that sovereignty is actually with fickle, fallible humans – not God.

Have you felt yourself growing unsettled, insecure, and on edge? I want to encourage you, encourage us, not to withdrawal and hide away. Though identifying trustworthy people feels insurmountable, we were created to connect, and we need each other now more than ever. Here is why we can do so with confidence:

God will take care of it – all of it. He will not allow evil to slide. He is still on His throne. He is a just ruler. He will not allow the good to dwindle or the corrupt to prosper. Just trust, wait and watch. He is the good, just, sovereign God He has always been – better and more just than our minds can fathom.

Your life does not depend on the frailty of men. God is still in charge. Have confidence: He has the world and your situation in His hands. You have not slipped from His grasp. “The arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear” (Isaiah 59:1).

You can give the Lord your disappointment, your fear, your insecurity, and all of your burdens. He will shoulder them all and sustain you so you can live free and walk in peace.

The Bible says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you” (Psalm 55:22-23).

As for you, the righteous, you do not need to worry. He hears you, and He will not allow you to be shaken. He will sustain you. Therefore, you can carry on in peace and live your life.

As told to the exiles in Jeremiah 29:5-7, I encourage us to do today: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

The enemy uses intimidation tactics to keep us from prospering. Corruption comes from him, and he is working to rob us of blessing in our lives — the blessing of confidence, peace, and connection, with others and with God. We cannot allow him to intimidate us into a hole. Instead, we can rise up and move forward into our future with hope and with confidence, knowing the Lord is more powerful, in control, and is fighting the battle for us!