The topic we don’t address.

Something that changed for me years ago was the routine and comfort of going into an office.

When the world left to go off to school or work, I had already loaded up, gotten my coffee, greeted my baristas, found my parking spot, unlocked the doors, and welcomed my team. I loved my team.

Yet, some major things changed for me – and then the world shifted, in general – and I began to work primarily from home, alone, with meetings online instead of in-person, where there used to be hugs and handshakes and people who worried if you didn’t show up.

And, at first, it was hard… like, really hard. I felt claustrophobic and sometimes even panic. But, after awhile, I grew more accustomed to it and even saw the practical value and efficiency of it. While I admittedly grew to feel … almost robotic at times… I also came to see how productive I could be.

And, while I’d rather see people than simply be productive, I came to see the real positive it afforded me — more time with my family. And, after awhile, I grew to enjoy it. But, if you aren’t careful, you can let bad in with the good. And, whereas I used to always travel, I grew to rarely leave home.

And, you know — it is okay to be alone sometimes. When God is with you, you can always experience peace. He’s the very best friend a person could have. But, in addition to His peace, God also gives us each other.

And, if I am honest, I will admit that some days it is still hard… Hard to see my favorite people load up and head out, and I’m still here. It hurts in the morning, and it hurts at some point in the afternoon. I miss them, because they are awesome.

Why am I sharing this? Because I want to put into words something entrepreneurs and remote workers often feel but rarely voice … loneliness.

It can feel very lonely to run a company by yourself or to be an at-home professional … It can feel rather isolating to meet people online only. And, if you’re not careful, it can become very easy to become robotic for the sake of being productive. But, its not good for us. We aren’t made of metal but of flesh, with hearts.

And, here’s the thing: Productivity is important, but you are more than what you can produce. You matter more than the simple efficiency of a perfectly timed meeting. Just because you have grown accustomed to this way of life – of being alone — doesn’t mean you should always be alone. We need people. We are meant to be in fellowship with people. It’s how God designed us.

If you have hit all of your deadlines, made your quotas, and made cool Creative, but you feel alone… it’s time to look up and look out. Find community. Invest in relationships. Find a place where people ask you questions, where they miss you when they don’t see you, where you get hugged. Allow yourself to feel loved. You matter.

If you are a professional woman looking for community, I invite you to join the community that makes me feel loved and reminds me I am not alone – The Rooted Sisters.

Join a small group at a local church. Get to know the people at your gym. Ask your barista about their day. Co-work beside friends. Meet up with colleagues. It matters. It all matters.

Allow yourself to love and to feel loved. We need each other. And you bring something special to the world that God uniquely put in you… Something amazing happens when you show up.

I love you guys… and thank you for loving me. We are not alone. God is with us, and He surrounds each of us with people to hug and encourage— to hug and encourage us too. Look up and get out. Allow yourself to be loved. You matter.

But I Don’t Understand.

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time trying to understand. I care deeply and, as a result, I have always asked a lot of questions.

As a student, I spent additional time underlining, was routinely raising my hand, and even received tutoring to fully understand.

As a young adult in leadership programs, I learned that I should seek to understand before being understood.

As a journalist, I set out to understand what makes people tick, why they do what they do, and how that impacts the world around them.

In church, I have often sat in the front, taking notes to make sure the message stuck.

I have sought to understand how bodies and health work to try and get things right.

In relationships, I have found myself confused and have spent even years trying to understand dynamics, motives, and turning points.

In business, I have researched and combed through information to make sure I fully understand to get it all right.

I always seek to understand what the right thing is to do – by the Bible, by people, in business, and law.

And, many times, I have felt stupid… truly… when I have failed to understand something, whether it was school, work, or otherwise.

Understanding… its something we seek… And the wheels just keep turning and turning as we try to make sense of life and get it all right.

When I have lacked understanding , I have gone into fear… fearing I wasn’t smart enough, experienced enough or strong enough to protect myself, to advance myself or my family.

And, get this… understanding is good. There are proverbs and psalms that teach us to seek understanding, to seek wisdom. But seeking wisdom is different than trying to gain a sense of power by knowing it all or launching into fear and anxiety for not knowing everything.

In fact, while understanding is good, the Bible tells us there is something that surpasses understanding… something greater that trumps it… Something greater that guards us more than getting it all…

In Philippians 4:6-7 it says,

“Do be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God…

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The PEACE OF GOD transcends understanding.

Peace does not come when you have it all figured out. Because you can have an IQ that is sky-high and experience greater than them all, but you will never fully understand, never know it all, never have it all figured out… We simply are incapable of understanding everything. Only God does.

We don’t have all of the answers. So, if we are leaning on our own understanding to have peace, we will never have peace. But, when we lean on God, we will experience peace that surpasses understanding.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I don’t know about you, but I get tired of trying to figure it all out — forfeiting peace and sleep just to never fully understand. But, raising my hands and surrendering to God – our Creator King – is absolutely peace-evoking.

I pray that today, both you and I can give our cranking minds a break and just receive the peace of God that transcends our ability to understand. Peace surpasses understanding. And that peace is God’s gift to us, so we can rest in Him, just knowing that He is good and He never slumbers. He is taking care of it all.

God, I love you. Thank you for being so good and for being God over the throne of all, including Lord over my life. I thank you that your peace transcends my ability to understand and that you are the guarder of my heart. I give my heart, as well as all of my concerns, to you today. Thank you for giving me your peace in return. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Not Disqualified

You may have had a hard season. You may have set out strong and failed. You may have lost. But you are NOT disqualified.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Take the time you need to heal, to breath, to rest, to pray, to bask in the presence of God. Allow Him to speak to you, to download fresh vision, and then make plans to get back out there.

You may not be ready yet, or even for a while, but set your intention to get back on your path. Hope is important. And you can have that hope and assurance knowing that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

Surrender to Him and see how He works. It won’t be like last time… you won’t be holding it up in your own strength if you surrender.

You feel empty right now, but emptied of yourself is the best place to be. Open your hands to Him, give Him the wheel, make Him the lead of your life – every area of your life- and watch what He does. He never fails, and He will never, ever fail you.

Never Alone

God has brought me through so much. He has never left me. He has never abandoned me. I can never thank Him enough. So I’m just not going to stop. I can’t and simply won’t hoard this good news to myself:

Jesus saves. He is the only one and only thing that saves us from the pit and depths of despair, loneliness, trauma, abandonment, grief and failure. Just call out to Him, “Jesus, Help me. I need your help.” And He will help.

God is an ever present help in the time of trouble. And He can put a new song in your heart, fresh vision in your mind, trade joy for despair and dancing for mourning. He is so, so good.


Psalm 46

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

” The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

“Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.’

“The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

Community Matters

I am a people-person. I love people. I know God made them in His image and created them because of His great love for them. It is important to me to see people — to truly see them, to see their hearts, especially women.

We as women are doing so much — nurturing those in every generation, all at the same time, as we also strive to steward our gifts and our time to work and provide a living, while often times also trying to serve our communities. It is beautiful. It can also be a lot. And we need friendships, community, and encouragement.

I know that, when my time and focus is primarily focused on tasks and deliverables, I am out of alignment with how God wired me. He created me to be an encourager and a listening ear. He has brought me through so very much that I want to comfort others with the comfort He has given me. Yet, my time has barely allowed me to care for myself at times.

And so, for quite some time, the Lord has been working on my heart to be more in alignment with His heart for me — to be in greater community and in deeper fellowship with my sisters in Christ, seeing and hearing their hearts to a greater degree… more than tasks, more than deliverables.

And so, in this season, I know God is up to something — retuning my habits, my focus and my schedule — to put my days back into alignment with my heart and His desire for me. He created me – He created you too – to be in community. He made us to be in relationship with one another.

For me, my community is The Rooted Sisters, a ministry for professional women that I have the blessing of leading. God is up to something amazing in this ministry where professional women gather to study the Word of God, grow in their faith in Christ, and learn to lead others to do the same. It is an honor to put my heart, focus, and energy here. This means stepping back from other projects and tasks to step up here. And it is a beautiful gift to do so.

For the women reading this, who are so craving community, as well, I invite you to join us through Bible Studies, Prayer Meetings, Equipping Webinars, Fellowship Events, the Christian Business Women’s Breakfast, and so much more. These are rich relationships, centered around Christ, where we truly uplift each other.

Standing On Business

My son used to use this phrase, “Standing on business.” It means he has firmly resolved his stance on a matter, his feet are planted, and he will not move. He knows the truth, he knows who he is, and he won’t be tricked.

He has done a lot of work at a young age to get there, and I respect it so much. His resolve gives me courage. It inspires grit in me, because it took until my late 30’s to overcome the intoxication of people-pleasing with popularity as a carrot.

In many ways, I learned this lesson the hard way: Popularity is a master.

Popularity makes people and their fickle preferences your intention. It puts people- many, many people- before God. It creates idols. It puts the leader of the pack on the throne and makes their social customs law in your life.

You cannot serve God and man. You must decide who you will set your intention – your gaze – on… whose customs you will follow. And that will determine your outcome.

At the start of many negative outcomes is a desire to be popular – to be accepted by man. What I have been asked to do in my life to be accepted is defiling – a bending, even a breach, of integrity and a betrayal of self. I will not serve man. I will not take the bait or tilt to the manipulation anymore.

I look at Daniel from the Bible, who would not eat the king’s food because of a conviction and honor to God. Some would ask, “Why not just eat the food? You eat food any way!” Daniel felt convicted. He knew in his heart it was manipulation and that it would defile him.

Daniel knew that fear would give way to sin if answered. And he would not, could not make the king an idol. He would not, could not put anything or anyone on the throne but God Himself. And so, while it may seem like a small concession, it would mean betraying his heart and turning his back on his spiritual convictions, and he would not do that. A heavy price was on the line — his life, but God saw, protected and spared Daniel for obeying him.

When we put Jesus on the throne — Jesus and only Jesus – and not the fear of man, we will most certainly be asked to make concessions by man. They may even ask, “What’s the big deal?” or question why. But you do not answer to man. And you do not have to. You are not obligated to. And knowing this — that you are not obligated to man — is exactly the point.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:26)

I will serve God only, and I will listen to my conscience as I make decisions. And it may not make sense to others. It might mean I will not gain friendships – even lose some. But I only want what God has marked out for me. And I want no time wasted, appeasing or making concessions for the sake of popularity, as I learned in college (and even since), that in the end… no one will stand by you. Shirk one demand and you are alone, feeling drained and devoid of integrity.

But when I have set my intention on God and have followed His lead, I have felt brave, fulfilled and bare much fruit. And I would rather have one or two good friends who support me in my walk with the Lord and respect my convictions than a crowd of strangers who brand me with temporary approval.

Prayer: God, Help me to chase after you. Help me set my gaze and my intention on you. And may it never wain. With every decision to make, may I hear your voice guiding me louder than the scoffers. And give me the courage and the clarity to follow you each day — to walk the unique and distinct path you have called for my life.

God, You have never, ever failed me. In the rearview, I see now that what felt like loss along the way was your hand of protection. You are Lord of my life, and I give you the reigns. May your voice always be clearer and louder than fear. And may I choose to follow YOUR voice all the days of my life.

Thank you, Father, for loving me and giving me confidence-for giving me companionship, and for protecting me from idols and distractions. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Shifting Sand

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

Proverbs 19:21

What are you building your life on? What is your foundation? What are you revolving your dreams around? Where do you put your focus? Is it worth it? Is it worth a life? Is it worth your life – your time, your energy, and your fixation? The decisions we make, usually with time limitations, are based on where our focus lies.

It feels easier, clearer, and more pragmatic to make decisions based on what we see, what we can touch, what is right before us. Yet those “real,” tangible things are most breakable, most perishable, and fragile.

Grasp your glass of water or that vase on your table. Holding it brings a sense of confidence. Our skin tells our nerves to tell our brains this is real, and we feel a strange sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Yet our skin itself, our bodies, they too, though seen, felt and tangible, are also breakable, vulnerable and one day will perish. Those things seen, that are physical, that our eyes can gaze upon, are actually most fragile, and should be trusted least.

But, ah, how tricky it is to trust and to have faith in those things we cannot touch… Yet, most solid, most reliable and trustworthy are those things our hearts and our spirits know that our skin cannot perceive: The power of God at work in our lives, the sacred bond in marriage, or with your child… These are the most reliable foundations for our lives.

Though our skin, brains and nerves trick us into believing the here-and-now, the things most obviously perceived, are most reliable, our souls, our very spirits, know the truth… that our focus, our lives, our dreams, our hearts are safest in the hands of God. And yet, His ways often feel unknown to us. The most trustworthy of marching orders, though often given just one at a time, are found in relationship and conversation with Him.

Though we seek to control the course of our lives, such as physically gripping and following a map, all things will perish but what God orders, what He commands, what He calls into being. Like a man’s footsteps wash away with the tide, so do our plans, made apart from God. Yet, no one can stop what God has planned, and why would we want to do anything outside of His will?

Trust Him today. Though you feel out of control, just putting one foot out in front of the other, we are truly safest when we make God our foundation, when we put our trust in Him and focus our lives around Him. I am reminding myself to trust today, to take one step at a time in faith, following His lead. Though I feel scared, I know there is no safer place to be than beyond myself and in His great big will for my, for our, lives.

An Inflow of Power

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” – God

2 Corinthians 12:9a

If you feel wounded, broken, even disqualified, gripped by fear, or shamed by failure, know that your weakness in this moment actually puts you in the most powerful position you have ever been in. How can this be?

Unlike people, God is not repelled by our weaknesses. He does not identify our area of weakness, label it a red flag, and then walk away. He is attracted to our weakness. When He sees we are weak, vulnerable, or hurting, He draws near to us. When we lean into the Lord in our brokenness, He comes in to those tender places, bringing healing and restoration.

When we invite the Lord into our situation, He takes the reigns of our broken life and cleans things up as they ought to be. And there is no more powerful, healthy, and whole position to be in than to have the power of God motoring our steps, our thoughts, and our plans. After all, He created us and planned every day for us. He certainly knows where and how to apply His power in our lives to strengthen and heal us in the most effective, God-honoring way possible. That is what we need most.

And when we sense HIS power at work in us, we are stunned by His overwhelming goodness and fulfilled. He fills in the emptiness, those gaps, with healthy things – hope, peace, joy, and good desires. Why would we want it any other way?

So, let us not hide from Him in our weakness, but welcome Him in so He might do what only He can do, and replace weakness and emptiness with the fullness of His power, radiance and love, that pours out in us, through us and out onto others.

Prayer

Lord, I am weak. I often feel vulnerable, afraid, and alone. Please come in and fill my emptiness with your power. Have your way in every area of my life. I ask you to fill the gaps, the holes, and heal the hurt. Please strengthen me by your glorious might. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Gift of Pardon

“God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

Mercy, def. compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm

In our anger and fear, we jump to conclusions, point our finger, and judge. Yet, consider this: Our anger, striving, jealousy, and desire for revenge, can cause us to see things through a tainted lens, distorting the truth. At any time, because of our sinful nature, we may actually be the one in the wrong – and only us. In our fear of being slighted, we may become the oppressor in need of mercy.

Though we say we should not trust others, even other brothers and sisters in Christ, the truth is, we should never fully trust ourselves. We are sinful, emotional, and reactive, and in need of God’s mercy all the time… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Therefore, it is so very important that we, “speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:12-13). And, oh, how we are in need of mercy every, single day!

Along the way, sometimes in embarrassing ways, I have learned how wrong I can be and how much mercy I require from the Lord and those around me. I have learned the importance of seeking counsel and a Godly sounding board to better process and understand a situation. I have learned the danger of processing on my own, in my limited, sinful view, by seeing the harm it can cause to relationships. I have come to see how easy it is to feel right and justified in anger. My, what a strange phenomenon that is to me! Our anger and adrenaline cloud our view and suddenly make us feel like a genius. Meanwhile relationships are damaged.

Through my experiences of judging others and myself through a skewed lens, the Lord has taught me ways to judge others more rightly: I have learned to judge a person by their fruits, not by my emotions. And I have come to see that this takes time, experience, and observation, not simply raw emotion. I am still learning to catch myself in this. I must remind myself to put this into practice when I begin to feel myself quickly judging a person or situation.

“Judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement” (James 2:13) So, I will sow mercy because mercy is granted to those who sow it. And I need mercy at any given time, even in moments when I don’t yet realize I need mercy or how important mercy is to me in that situation.

Let us sow mercy bountifully, recognizing we may be wrong at any given time, and we may not learn that until later, when we come down from our emotional high or have had time to reflect. Take into account how many times in the past you were wrong when you were so confident about being right in that moment. Think about the number of times God showed you mercy and bailed you out from the dire consequences your behavior deserved. Consider what Jesus did to redeem you from the pit of despair and the pit of hell because of His mercy for you, for us.

The mercy Jesus has shown us in the here and now and for eternity is so vast, so great. The mercy, compassion, and love He has poured out on us is a gift, nothing we deserve. And, if you can’t in your emotion remember all that has been given to you when you did not deserve it, at least consider walking in love and showing mercy as a gift to the person on the edge of the cliff.

“Be devoted to one another with brotherly affection, give preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10).

Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt and lavish mercy freely, knowing we need that mercy just as much. And let us remember that it was mercy and love that led Jesus to the cross to forgive our debt of sin, sickness, pride, anger, and shame. His love and mercy showed us preference over His perfect, sinless life here on earth.

Mercy and love led Jesus to the cross. May mercy and love guide us through our day. May mercy and love lead in our interactions, in our relationships, and in our decisions. We must lean into the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts, our minds and our emotions to do so. His love and mercy are available for us and through us when we submit our lives and surrender our attitudes to Him.