Trust – Sarah Guldalian

Out-of-Body Experience

For the Pioneers

I have always been pioneering – thinking, seeing, dreaming into the future. Sometimes I can see myself, see my family, in that place… a place of effectiveness on a grand scale, a spiritual standing ground, a place of impact or influence for the kingdom of God and in the marketplace. I can see it.

And in those moments, those gifts of a moment, where the Lord has gifted me with a vision, I sometimes get too excited, to rambunctious, where impatience sets in. I begin to see a gap – from where I am now to where I will be then.

And in that moment, in that gap, when you are at F on the map and God shows you L, it is far to easy to quickly scramble to create a plan to get there… when you see the result but have not yet been given the road map on getting from F to G and then from G to H.

The pioneering person can see the future so clearly at moments that it is as if you are having an out-of-body experience, and you must run to catch up with yourself. It can feel as though you have lost yourself to the future, and you must go on a quest to meet there.

But I have learned (and will probably learn some more) to not set off running to that place, even as beautiful as the vision may be, without first getting the road map from God. For, far too often, I have set off running only to find myself living somewhere in between where I was never intended to reside. God had L for me but I’m living in the land of J, even seemingly trapped, because I lacked the patience and fed the impulsivity to run ahead without getting God’s road map for the journey. And J was only ever meant to be a hotel stay, no place to reside.

And let’s think about those places, those in-between places… Think about the timing of a thing. When you land in a place really matters. For, at a certain time you will encounter different people and different circumstances then you might 20 minutes later… and all of these things matter. God uses people, He uses relationships, He uses circumstances to form us, to shape us, to develop us, to prepare us, even transform us, into the person we saw in the vision.

And the kind of relationships that we want – ones that are healthy, where iron sharpens iron – are found at a certain time in a certain place. Think about it: Meeting someone at 2 pm daylight is different than meeting someone at 2 am in the middle of the night. The people at those times will be different types of people. And what I truly want is to meet my 2 pm relationships, the circumstances with sunlight… I want to only step foot and tread ground where God tells me to and when. And so, I must trust Him for the entire journey.

The difference between who I am now and the person I see in the vision is transformation. And there are no short cuts for transformation. The Holy Spirit is the author and we must yield.

And so, when gifted with a vision, with the beauty of this thing, I must thank God for the vision. And I must temper my impatience to sit where I am until He tells me to go. And then, I must be willing to go at the pace He sets, even if its inching like a turtle rather than stampeding like a rhino.

For visions – grand, holy visions – are not ours. They are Gods. And for those visions to come to pass, we must do things God’s way. And so we must look to Him as the compass. We must stop in our tracks when we are lost and wait for our Father. We must temper the wild abandon that sets us off running, and tell our nervous systems to submit to the will of God and the direction of the Holy Spirit.

For then we will reserve our energy and our focus and our gaze for the things God is focused on and gazing at. And we will see His purposes come to pass in our life, in our lifetime.

Pioneer, Fight the urge to run. You are here… you are now… for a reason. He will show you where to go and when. And when He says, “Go,” do it His way.

The Weight of Trust

“I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you…” These are the first three lines of a worship song I was listening to yesterday by United Pursuit, a band I love. I just had the Pandora station on rotation, but hearing these lines stopped me in my tracks.

I’m not used to saying these words. I mean, how many people can you really say that to? Some people have a hard time saying, “I love you.” I don’t. I have always loved people. I love being around them. I gain energy from them. And I love encouraging them.

I grew up in a church with pastors who, when you ran into them at the mall, even after a long time, would always tell you they love you. And they truly meant it. Their kindness showed, and it felt like love radiating through them. They were an awesome example of loving others and always letting them know.

But trust… trusting people… oh my. I have some work to do there. Clearly some healing is needed. And oddly, when you come to learn that you can’t trust people you thought you could, you lose trust in yourself. You lose trust in your own discernment. And then a wall of protection forms. The problem is, that wall keeps the good out too.

As I hear the words, “I know that I can trust you,” I stop, I listen, and I feel. And I am saddened by the baggage I bring to new relationships, that it takes me so long and such depth of interaction to even slightly trust others. I have work and healing to do there. Maybe you do too.

Trust is weighty. Trust bares the responsibility of integrity with consistency. Trust bares the weight of care, to care more about me than about the interesting conversation you could have about me for 10 minutes with someone else.

For me, trust means being safe even when you are angry. It means loving me outside of what brand I’m representing, what amount of money I make or where I choose to place it. Trust means you assume the best about me even when you hear the worst. It means being who you said you were last year this year. And so it is hard to trust because, after all, people are people, full of hurt, pain, and trust issues of their own.

I hope one day I will trust people more, that I will go deeper quicker. I believe I will because God is a healing God. And lately He has introduced me to more people who deserve to be trusted. And wow, that is a gift. It has shown me that I need to heal, and people are worth pulling my wall down for.

But the truth is, we all mess up, every single one of us. Even the saints of us sin and fall because we bare human flesh. Others will let us down… those very close to us. And we will let ourselves down. As much as we want them to be trustworthy, we too will fail. It is hard for each of us is human after all.

Yet, we can fully and wholly trust God. He always has our best in mind. He always gives. And He never changes. His love towards us never changes. When we trust Him, we will never regret it.

God always overdelivers. He always gives us more love, more abundance, forgiveness and goodness than we deserve when we put our trust in Him. No one can ever talk Him out of loving us or even liking us.

We can trust Him – fully and wholly trust Him. He will always love us. He will never leave us. He always helps us, no matter what the topic or issue, large or small. We can trust Him because He knows all, His ways are best, and He always has our best at heart.

Prayer

I come to you, Lord, trusting you with all that I am and all that I have. Sometimes it feels like very little if only a hot mess. And I need your help… to have courage to put my heart back out there without a wall around it, to trust you for wisdom and discernment and protection and healing as I do, as I seek to go deeper with others.

I know that I can trust you… I know that I can trust you… And that you will help me. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Shifting Sand

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:21

What are you building your life on? What is your foundation? What are you revolving your dreams around? Where do you put your focus? Is it worth it? Is it worth a life? Is it worth your life – your time, your energy, and your fixation? The decisions we make, usually with time limitations, are based on where our focus lies.

It feels easier, clearer, and more pragmatic to make decisions based on what we see, what we can touch, what is right before us. Yet those “real,” tangible things are most breakable, most perishable, and fragile.

Grasp your glass of water or that vase on your table. Holding it brings a sense of confidence. Our skin tells our nerves to tell our brains this is real, and we feel a strange sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Yet our skin itself, our bodies, they too, though seen, felt and tangible, are also breakable, vulnerable and one day will perish. Those things seen, that are physical, that our eyes can gaze upon, are actually most fragile, and should be trusted least.

But, ah, how tricky it is to trust and to have faith in those things we cannot touch… Yet, most solid, most reliable and trustworthy are those things our hearts and our spirits know that our skin cannot perceive: The power of God at work in our lives, the sacred bond in marriage, or with your child… These are the most reliable foundations for our lives.

Though our skin, brains and nerves trick us into believing the here-and-now, the things most obviously perceived, are most reliable, our souls, our very spirits, know the truth… that our focus, our lives, our dreams, our hearts are safest in the hands of God. And yet, His ways often feel unknown to us. The most trustworthy of marching orders, though often given just one at a time, are found in relationship and conversation with Him.

Though we seek to control the course of our lives, such as physically gripping and following a map, all things will perish but what God orders, what He commands, what He calls into being. Like a man’s footsteps wash away with the tide, so do our plans, made apart from God. Yet, no one can stop what God has planned, and why would we want to do anything outside of His will?

Trust Him today. Though you feel out of control, just putting one foot out in front of the other, we are truly safest when we make God our foundation, when we put our trust in Him and focus our lives around Him. I am reminding myself to trust today, to take one step at a time in faith, following His lead. Though I feel scared, I know there is no safer place to be than beyond myself and in His great big will for my, for our, lives.

On His Throne

Turning on the TV or powering up your device might be enough to turn your stomach these days. The culture stirring around us feels negative, even corrupt, and this contentious environment can lead us to grow disappointed, even insecure. As I have processed my own responses to these tumultuous times, I have come to identify the root of my fear. Perhaps you can relate:

When the corrupt seemingly prosper, we can believe that God allows evil to slide. And when we do that, we grow insecure, believing that sovereignty is actually with fickle, fallible humans – not God.

Have you felt yourself growing unsettled, insecure, and on edge? I want to encourage you, encourage us, not to withdrawal and hide away. Though identifying trustworthy people feels insurmountable, we were created to connect, and we need each other now more than ever. Here is why we can do so with confidence:

God will take care of it – all of it. He will not allow evil to slide. He is still on His throne. He is a just ruler. He will not allow the good to dwindle or the corrupt to prosper. Just trust, wait and watch. He is the good, just, sovereign God He has always been – better and more just than our minds can fathom.

Your life does not depend on the frailty of men. God is still in charge. Have confidence: He has the world and your situation in His hands. You have not slipped from His grasp. “The arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear” (Isaiah 59:1).

You can give the Lord your disappointment, your fear, your insecurity, and all of your burdens. He will shoulder them all and sustain you so you can live free and walk in peace.

The Bible says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you” (Psalm 55:22-23).

As for you, the righteous, you do not need to worry. He hears you, and He will not allow you to be shaken. He will sustain you. Therefore, you can carry on in peace and live your life.

As told to the exiles in Jeremiah 29:5-7, I encourage us to do today: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

The enemy uses intimidation tactics to keep us from prospering. Corruption comes from him, and he is working to rob us of blessing in our lives — the blessing of confidence, peace, and connection, with others and with God. We cannot allow him to intimidate us into a hole. Instead, we can rise up and move forward into our future with hope and with confidence, knowing the Lord is more powerful, in control, and is fighting the battle for us!

Intangible Evidence

Evidence attests to, documents, supports and reinforces the validity of a claim or an assertion. Evidence verifies and confirms the validity of a proposition or a belief. Evidence is concrete. It proves a claim.

We want to see, feel, and touch evidence to believe it exists in order to believe there is a corresponding outcome. Yet, some evidence exists, is real, confirms and validates a true and actual outcome that we cannot see, feel, or touch. There is evidence that exists that we cannot hold in the palm of our hands yet is still proof, nonetheless.

For example, think of gravity. I cannot hold gravity in my hand. I cannot touch it, hold it, taste it or smell it. Yet, I cannot fly at my every whim. My evidence that gravity exists is that I am magnetized to the ground. In the same way, I cannot bottle, hold or see the wind, yet there is evidence that it exists by the trees swaying back and forth and leaves blowing about my yard.

In a similar way, how do you know, how can you verify, how can you prove that God made the earth? And is there proof that someone is a good and righteous person? A way to prove they believe in God? Or, how can you say, assert or confirm that it is time to grow your family or that it is time for you to move? You might know that you know yet friends or family say, “How do you know? Show me, let me touch the proof.”

Not all evidence is able to be seen or touched yet you know that what you sense is as real and as palpable as the chair you are sitting on, such as gravity and the wind are real. What can we call this evidence? Faith. “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see” (Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬).‬‬

Faith is real. Though you cannot touch it with your fingers or see it with your eyes, it is a true piece of evidence to God that is as real as gravity and the wind. In fact, faith is necessary to be “good,” to be righteous. It is evidence to God that we believe in Him. The evidence that we believe in God is our faith. “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him” (Hebrews‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬).

How do we understand, how do we know, that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen? By faith.

How did Noah know to build a large boat to save his family from the flood? And how did God deem him righteous? How did Abraham act upon and obey God by leaving home and going to another land he did not know to receive his inheritance? How is it that Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and too old? “She believed!” It was all by faith.

Many believe the proof of their faith is the cross necklace they wear, or the good works they do, the nice things they say or the gifts they give. Though all of these things – gifts, philanthropy, acts of kindness – are good, they do not prove you are good or where your heart is. Though those kind gestures are nice, “it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him”
‭‭(Hebrews‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬).

While people see your actions and might judge you by those, God sees our hearts and our motivations. He sees the truth. He can see if we have faith in Him or if we put our faith in ourselves, our money or others. He can see if we have love for Him and others, or if we are just out for ourselves, helping those who can help us in return. He can see if our hearts mirror His heart or if our hearts reflect the world’s ways.

To please God, to prove where our hope is, we must have faith in and believe in Him, knowing that He alone is good, and that He is powerful. Faith, though unseen by us, is seen by God. And there is a reward in it.

So, what does this look like for your everyday life?

Do you feel God nudging you? Is He continuing to put something on your heart again and again? Maybe like Sarah, He is telling you to step out into parenthood despite what the world or your career says. Or maybe He is nudging you to move your family though the opinion may be unpopular. Maybe He is giving you a heads-up (wisdom), like He did for Noah, to take measures and make lifestyle changes – as strange as they may seem – to protect and advance your family. Do you sense Him calling you to trust in Him, to put your faith in Him in ways that feel real and hopeful yet seem counterintuitive to what others say?

Though others cannot put their finger on this evidence, though they may not understand your reasons or motivations for deciding things as you are – with God! – God sees your faith. He sees your obedience. Your response to His call is evidence of your faith. It is proof that your heart is with Him, and He will reward your faith. He will reward your family and you (for generations to come!), for putting your hope in Him above and beyond all other things.

Read Hebrews 11 to see just how He rewarded all of the people listed above and so many more amazing stories. You will see that following God requires faith. It requires stepping out into the uncomfortable and the unknown, yet the reward is greater than any you have ever seen or could describe.