As parents – and women, especially – we are natural nurturers. It is how God wired us. This is what motivates us to feed our children, to protect them, keep them safe, healthy, and warm. It also places us smack-dab in the middle of Christmas planning, and dreaming, and shopping, cooking, cleaning, inviting, and… hurting.
Our nurturing spirits say, “Let’s come together. Let’s be together. Is everyone good?” And this is where Christmas, the holidays, can hurt… Because not everything is good. Some are even missing from the table entirely.
Our minds seem to wander back to our childhood, and then the decades between – imagining Christmas trees, and Christmas meals, laughter — even arguments. Our memories are sweet, and they are difficult. As we experience conflicting emotions, it is easy to become perplexed and fatigued.
Our Christmas memories can be good… I see my grandpa’s face, and my grandparents flirting in the kitchen… My grandma hustling and bustling about on Christmas Eve, with matching gifts and stockings for the grandkids, full of popcorn balls, McDonald’s “money”, and real money she ironed before inserting into cards. And I remember Christmas Day at noon when my best friend and I, who lived around the corner, would joyfully swap gift lists over the telephone (with the curly cord), excited because we shared everything. Joyful memories.
Christmas memories can be beautiful, and they can be disappointing. I remember the difficult times in my household, when my parents struggled, and so we all did. As I think back on Christmases of the past, I see people there who I won’t see again this side of heaven, either because they are already there, or because of brokenness within family. And it can hurt, because things have changed.
Maybe you know what I mean. Maybe you see faces there too. Maybe you have lost someone, who has passed on, or miss someone you are now living separately from. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a dream or vision you once had of a spouse or having a child, and it hurts.
And so, this joyful time – adorned with greens & reds, gold & silver, gifts, treats, parties, and the joy of creating memories for our littles – they excite our heads and hearts. And yet, we feel the tension, maybe even manic in moments, at the pain and the joy at play at once.
But here, under the pressure, in the merry-go-round of ups and downs, between joy and grief, we can stop. We can lift our faces to heaven. We can open our arms and our chest to the sky, and we can cry out to God, in surrender, for His help. And, He is there. He is here. He is the center.
Jesus is the center. HE is the real thing. HE is the reason. Amidst the emotional chaos, all things can fall away, fall off. And we can focus on the one thing this season is about, who this life is about – the reason for this season, the reason we are here – Jesus. And He is with us: Immanuel, God with us. Always.As you stop and process, pray and laugh, and even hurt, here is truth we can cling to:
- When all of the things have changed, Jesus has not. He never changes.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) - And He never leaves us – not ever. He has always been. He will always be.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
- When we feel alone in our memories, we can know: We are not alone now, and we were notalone then… I was not alone. My parents were not alone in the pressure. And you were not alone in that moment… in that very moment, because God transcends time. As He is with you now, He was with you then.
“Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.’” (John 8:58)
And so, as we prepare for Christmas – in this day, in this moment, throughout the week – we can have hope, because He is with us, Immanuel. He was with us then. He never changes. He never leaves. And He never will.
So, we can surrender all to Him – All that overwhelms: The past – the things, the people, the relationships lost… Even the present – the expectations, the successes, our failures…We can surrender them all, and fix our eyes on Him – on the baby in the manger, who surrendered His throne to be born in wood from a barn, in a body confined. He came to release us from the pieces, and the confinements of our minds and our lives. He came that we would be free, free from emotional and spiritual pain, free from the curse of death.
And we can even feel peace when our minds wander backwards, knowing He was with us then, as well. We were in His care then; we are now; and we forevermore will be, when we place our trust in Him.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)
Sarah Guldalian 