Tag Archives: Abba Father

You Have Issues.

Do you ever find yourself thinking, even saying, “I have issues”?

The truth is, we all have issues. There are no people who have no issues. (Yes, you read that right.) The people who seemingly have no (or less) issues have either put in the time and work to get to the other side of (some of) them; or they exert great energy to keep them from surfacing. Why would they we do that?

As someone who has had lots of issues over the decades, let me name some of the reasons we exert such great effort to conceal them:

  1. To simply function.
  2. To feel some semblance of control.
  3. To feel accepted by society.
  4. To avoid “bothering” others.
  5. Because of stubbornness or pride.
  6. Because of fear.

Now that I have named reasons we conceal our issues, let me also label the above as things that will keep us from being healed if we don’t release them.  

I am sometimes on the other side of (at least the majority of) my issues, and sometimes I am smack-dab in the hot, sticky mess of issues. Sometimes I played a role in the creation of those issues, but a lot of times, they came out of nowhere from truly unexpected people and places.

When I am doing well, people ask how I got victory over those insanely crazy things. Let me first say, never did stuffing or concealing heal me. I once took pride in the fact that I didn’t cry for a decade, especially considering my experiences in that decade. But I won no trophies. Instead, my emotions came out as (lots and lots of) panic attacks and anorexia.

For each of the issues I have (to some extent) overcome, there is one common thread — I put in the time and really uncomfortable work to acknowledge and address those issues. And I never did it alone.

I have learned that healing takes time, but it’s not the kind of time people talk about, like “Time heals all wounds.” Time itself does not heal all wounds, especially if you marinated in a chaotic environment that created issues within you since childhood. Likewise, it’s not like living two years past a horrible trauma can suddenly – poof! – make you better. Clocks don’t do that.

The way time heals us is when we invest time in our healing. When we quit running around like a chicken with our heads cut off (avoidance) and set aside time to address issues, to get to the root of them, and deal with them, then time helps heal us.

There are some very precious people and actions that can aid in our time of healing. If you are looking to heal, to work on some of the issues that plague your thinking, rob you of peace, and attack your nervous system, you can!

Let me first say, I am no counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a mess. But I am a mess who is constantly being redeemed and refined by the grace of God. (And like any true mom, when I find something that works, I am telling the world!) So let me share the actions and people who have (and do) help(ed) me.

People We Need

  1. The Holy Spirit!

    There is no lasting healing without the Lord. Period. We are too tangled and locked up for any human alone to heal us. But Jesus left His precious Holy Spirit with us when He ascended as “the Comforter” to bring us comfort, wisdom, and peace that surpasses our ability to understand.

  2. Friends – actual friends (You know what I’m talking about.)

    If you have a friend who repeats what you say in confidence or judges you when you are truly yourself, that is counterproductive. This is not the friend I am talking about, no matter how long you have been friends.

    Connect with a friend who you know your heart is safe with, who you truly know wants to see you walking in joy and freedom, even if they are decades older or five years younger.

  3. A Counselor

    Counselors know how nervous systems work. They know how trauma works – how it impacts our brains, our bodies, and our relationships. They have tactics to help us move past the hurdles that keep us from healing to keep moving towards healing.

  4. Community

    We can’t heal alone! We need to talk to people. We need a hug! We need understanding. We need empathy. I don’t care how independent you are, you need this. We were wired to be in fellowship with others. It’s how God made us.

Actions We Can Take

1. Be willing to go “there” with your friend – to let down the façade and show them who you really are and what you are really experiencing. We all innately desire to be known, but we will never be known unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

2. Be willing to look weak, to even have hand tremors, by talking about the scary things that need light shone on them. Don’t be afraid of your own fear. Keep pushing ahead!

3. Be willing to have triggers.

Drive down that particular road to get to the place you need to go to get help. Be willing to go to that restaurant that reminds you of that experience if it helps you get through it. Push through!

4. Invest the time and money to go to counseling.

If they don’t take insurance but you have the money, do it! Your peace for the rest of your life – shoot, even for today – is worth the investment! Or, if you don’t have the money (been there), ask if they have a special program or know of one, they can refer you to.

I have been investing the time in all of the above – these relationships and these actions; and I can honestly say they have helped me so much. Not all of my issues are resolved. (In fact, I just laughed out loud at that notion.) Some issues may never be until heaven. I have gained so much, though.

I have truly experienced full freedom in some of them, developed rich relationships in the process, gained coping tactics for some that stick, and I have gained a lot more courage and fight in me by acknowledging and addressing these issues. And, honestly, I feel more loved — because I have learned so much about God and myself in the process. I have also given others a chance to truly know me, and so I know their love for me is genuine. That is a real gift from it.

Yes, it takes time, emotion, energy, and maybe even money, to heal from issues, but you deserve freedom! Invest in your healing. You are worth it. You will truly feel proud of yourself for being a good friend to yourself in the process. And that alone has truly helped me hold my head up high.

Sending you love, Sarah

Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever felt like God didn’t hear your prayer? Have you felt like your prayers, in one particular area, simply ricocheted against a wall?

Throughout my life, I have seen life-changing miracles – goosebump-producing breakthroughs and truly unexpected healings. Yet, in one particular area – an area where I exerted daily energy, efforts and prayer – I didn’t see breakthrough. I felt like I couldn’t catch a break or come up for air. Instead of breakthrough, the roller coaster of pain and confusion escalated – more disappointment, heartbreak, and fear – no matter what I did. I wondered why the Lord wasn’t hearing my prayer for breakthrough in this prominent area of my life.  

This past week at a Bible Study, Dr. Richard Blackaby said, “God has eternity in view.” This is exactly right. This is why He doesn’t answer our prayers the way our finite minds and fickle emotions call them. God has eternity in view. God’s ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Simply put, He knows more than we know, and His plans for our future are good.

“’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9). Father God sees all things. He sees before and behind. He sees above and below. He sees the inside of a situation – not just the outside, our view.

God knew us – He planned us – before we were conceived. He knows the purpose He has placed in each one of us. He knows the calling He has on our life. He put it there. God knows what He has planned for us to accomplish in our time on this earth. He knows what He has in store for us for eternity.

There is an absolute reason God placed each one of us here. And He knows we will not be fulfilled until we are walking in the calling He has placed in our lives. He is the missing puzzle piece in any area we feel lack. There is no replacement for God’s presence or direction in our lives!

To live out the call God has placed on us, we must walk with Him. We must hear His voice. That means the sirens of life must die down. If we will not turn them down and we continue to run to their beckon call, we will run aimlessly through our days. Instead of living on mission, we will never find fulfillment. So, our Father – loving and gracious as He is – steps in. While we cling tightly to the familiar, just asking for a quick fix, Father God knows there is complete healing available in the release.

And our loving Father knows His children. He knows when we will not let go. He knows when we will not leave. So, instead of breakthrough – instead of opening the door we asked Him to open – His loving response is to give us an evacuation plan. He knows the best thing for us is to pluck us out of a situation. God knows that healing in this situation is not another band-aid but being removed from it altogether.

It can be heartbreaking – absolutely gut-wrenching – especially when it is all we know and our lives have been so intertwined with this situation. But some situations, some relationships, are a distraction. They threaten to pull us off course from God’s direction for our lives. They threaten to remove us from our calling altogether.

As God-fearing people who confess Jesus as Lord, we are to have no other gods – no other thing we cling to but Him. We, in our desperation, just want to satiate momentary heartbreak, so we run to others in the place of God. But God will not share His seat with another. We are not to put people on a pedestal. Only God is on the throne, and He will not share His glory with another. “I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols” (Isaiah 42:8).

To those who have submitted to His Lordship, He will stop us from running into the fire and destroying ourselves completely. This is all because of His merciful love towards us. In His love, He does not give us the finite answer we asked for in a complex situation, because He knows it holds spiritual and eternal consequences. Therefore, in our finite view, we sometimes see His answer as a “no,” but He is saying “yes” to full and complete healing for our lives. He doesn’t want us to settle or to lose it all.

What I have been learning is that there are natural consequences for sin. We cannot let people’s sin, including our own, change our view of God. God is always good and just. He, as a loving Father, will not spare us of correction, like insulant, spoiled children. He cares about us far more than that. He wants good for our lives and for eternity.

Father God knows who we truly are and where we are headed. He knows when we need a course-correction. He even knows when we will continue in the wrong direction for a lifetime. He sees that we are headed right into traffic where we are going to be taken out. So, as a loving Father, He picks us up and moves us out of the way.

When we find ourselves in silence, out of the commotion and chaos we are so accustomed, we may feel loss – the loss of the familiar. But God is here to replace our lack with His love, and He is ready to start the healing process within us towards wholeness.

Lastly, I think of the lame man in the Bible from John 5. He lived His life on a mat, in pain, carried around by his friends. One day, his friends carry him to the house where Jesus is. He has an encounter with Jesus. Jesus wants to bring him healing, but the mat must go. It cannot go into this next season with him, as it has with all of his seasons so far.

As we sit from the outside looking in, we get excited that this man is about to be healed by Jesus Himself. Yet, if you were the lame man in that moment, so physically hindered that your whole life has been confined to this mat, you might feel devastated if it is one day taken away.

Jesus says to him, “’Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked” (John 5:8-19). In one moment, his band-aid – his immediate fix – has been taken away, but it has been replaced with total healing and freedom. I believe God is answering some of our prayers today with these words, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

I pray today, that as you process through the changes in your life that may feel like loss, that you would lean on the Lord to fill all that feels like lack. I pray that He gives you fresh vision and fresh anointing for this next season of freedom for you and for your life.

I pray that the Lord surrounds you with His comfort, His love and His wisdom. I pray that He shows you how to move ahead and how it is for your good. I pray that He surrounds you with Godly friends and influences. I pray that you learn to hear His voice above all else. And I pray that His Holy Spirit does a healing work in you internally as He has been doing in me. In Jesus’ name.

Sending you love, Sarah