Today I am anxious, sea sick from the shifting tides, the crashing waves, the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs. There are so many ins and so many outs. So much changes with each passing moment.

In and out… One day you’re living your life; the next you are locked out.

In and out… “The facts” were in but now they are out.

In and out... In it together? Or, were we not?

In and out… Reentering community? Or again floating out?

In and out... One foot back into your world yet one is still out.

In and out... Summer is in but a summer without.

In and out… A moment in peace, followed by moments without.

In and out… One step towards life and then two steps out.

In and out... Feeling trapped in when we want to be out.

In and out... Breath in through the nose and out through the mouth… In through the nose and out through the mouth…

I simply can’t keep up with the ins and the outs… But there must be another way, a better way, to get by than measuring each breath in and counting to exhale out. I must shift my gaze.

I will look up to find true North, anchoring myself to that which never changes, my compass: Jesus, who is the same yesterday, today and forever. In Him, I can live and I can breathe and I can be.

Yes, even today, we still have choices. We have the same choice as every other day: Will I be in, all in, with Him? Or, will I be out? I choose to be in. I choose to make Jesus the Lord of my life every, single day, regardless of what else is in and what is out. I give Him the reigns. In His care, I am not hostage to blowing winds and waves. In Him, I have a sound mind to make sound decisions.

And, today, as I seek to root myself in Him, I must decide: What else will I let in, and what will I shut out?

I will choose to be in the Word instead of out.

I will choose to be in prayer instead of without.

I will choose internal peace and keep the news out.

I will choose to walk with grace and love and block hate out.

I will choose to be IN Christ but not to shut the world out… After all, the world NEEDS a savior. The world NEEDS unity. I know the savior, the one who brings unity, peace, love, strength, confidence and soundness of mind. Maybe I can help.

Jesus said, when He is in us and we are in Him, we will experience perfect unity (John 17:23). He is in me lavishly pouring His love in. And, as love comes in, I will work to pour love out.

“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects” (Hebrews 12:5-6).

When I was 15, my parents grounded me for a full semester. I was confident they hated me. Time to get your driver’s permit? Nope. Sweet sixteen? Nope. Driver’s license? Nope. Sadie Hawkins dance? Nope. Grounded. Stuck right beside my parents, both of whom are coaches. My brother would traipes in and out. Meanwhile, I couldn’t receive phone calls and could only go outside to exercise.

Heavy-handed? It certainly sounds like it when you’re hearing my side. (Fortunately, my parents won’t tell you my sins.) Yet, it forced me to focus and to shuffle my priorities around in the right order. It taught me how to relate to others, especially my elders. It taught me to have higher regard for others rather than thinking of my own selfish desires.

When disciplined, we tend to only whine, turning a blind eye to the protection it will provide. Protection is one of the greatest gifts we are given through discipline, yet we take it for granted. After all, through God’s protection, we seldom see the countless collisions we have instigated.

Yet, as a loving father, God cannot allow us to go on living recklessly. That wouldn’t be loving to us or to those around us. He must stop us in our tracks to get our attention. He is not trying to break us. He is training us, preparing us.

“God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live?”(Hebrews 12:7-9 ). He is teaching us how to live.

“While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best.” In grounding me, my parents looked beyond my immediate demands to prepare me for my future. I needed to learn those lessons to understand how to operate and interact to be successful in life. [It also prepared me for the quarantine life.]

It is not loving to let your child run out into the street. It is not loving to allow your child to hurt themself or others. It is not loving to let them hang out with reckless people, no matter how loud they kick and scream. And, God LOVES us! So, when God stops us, He is loving us. God knows when we are living recklessly, and He wants to keep a watchful eye on us until we have learned to operate in safety for our sake and for the sake of others.

Contrary to what some might think, God does not get joy from “grounding” us. He would rather lavish us with abundance. How many of us parents can say, “Grounding is actually more work for me!”? No one gets joy from rebuking and punishing. As parents, we would rather go on fun adventures with our children. (The discipline feels like a punishment to the parent too!) It takes perseverance to parent. Yet, the long-lasting, far-reaching outcomes make the discipline worth it!

God has put me in time-out a couple of times since high school. When He does this, like my parents, He is not pushing me out of His way or placating me to stop my whining. He is drawing me nearer to Him. He knows we need those pauses in life, these time-outs, to slow down, and to calm down to hear from Him. He wants to create a soft space where we reflect on the danger we were veering into so we will operate with greater safety and wisdom moving forward. He does all of this because He deeply, eternally cares.

As I went to bed last night, I found myself reflecting on situations that never happened, catastrophes God spared us of, close calls we didn’t know were present, and pain He spared us of that we never realized lurked around the corner.

Likewise, I thought about the moments when something painful does arise in our lives, at our own hand. Too often, we turn to God to blame Him, not stopping to realize that He paid our mortgage, cooked our meals, set our table, made our bed, bought the clothes on our back, did our homework, wrote our resume and got us our job.

We ask God for protection and provision, so He brings it. He shows us where we are going the wrong way, a dangerous direction, for our protection. Then we doubt Him. Like adolescents, we blame Him.

“It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects” (Hebrews 12:6). As our Heavenly Father, the one who planned us and created us, He loves us. He is doing everything out of His overwhelming love for us, even disciplining us… especially disciplining us. It is all out of love for our own safety and prosperity in life.

(A prayer) Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to save me from myself. Thank you for protecting my family by disciplining me, by discipling us, that we might live the full, abundant lives you have set out for us. Help me to be a loving mother to my children, as you are a father. Help me to persevere in protecting them by taking the time to lovingly discipline them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

We all desire to be known and understood. God knows you. He knows you fully. He created you. He loves you. He desires to be known by you too. He longs for a personal relationship with each of us.

The Lord is always speaking to us. He speaks to us in so many ways: Through His Word, through creation, to our hearts through His comfort, and through others. He has something to share with us to encourage us, to guide us, through all of life’s scenarios, even this one.

God’s Word, the Bible, covers it all! (I often go to the back of the Bible, or search my app, for a specific topic I am wrestling with or emotion I am experiencing, to find verses that help me in that particular area.) It shows us who He is and the many things He has done.

Of all of the wonderful attributes that describe God’s character, time and again, the Bible reminds us He is strong, and that His strength is put to work for our protection: “God is our refuge and strength (mighty and impenetrable), a very present and well-proved help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear though the earth should change” (Psalm 46:1-2).

God is showing us, over and over in His Word and throughout our lives, that when we put our trust in Him – in His strength, not our own, we no longer need to worry. We can leave the God-sized work to God and employ peace in our everyday lives.

Yes, it can be a process to hand our burdens over, but it is one that is so far beyond worth it, in order to access the peace God has for us. The question is, “How do you hand over burden and trade it for peace?”

I don’t know everything, but I can share what I have personally experienced in my life:

• Recognize you don’t “have this.” (I used to self-talk myself with, “I’ve got this,” when I clearly didn’t.) Face the reality that you are not strong enough to handle this on your own.
• Acknowledge you are drowning, your way out hasn’t cut it, and you need help!
• Begin a conversation with God. It can be this simple, “Hi God, I need your help!”
• Ask Him for forgiveness. This is an acknowledgement you were wrong – you are not in control. (You will feel better, really! He is so forgiving! You will be relieved.)
• Ask the Lord to show you what is creating worry in your life. Ask Him to show you what needs to go:
  An unhealthy relationship?
  A habit that is perpetuating fear?
  Negative influences, like dramatic shows or downer music?
  I don’t know, and I’m not judging. Ask Him! He will help clarify what is at the root of your worry.
• Replace the yuck with life-giving relationships, life-giving habits and positive input and influences.

For me, I recognized music that made me melancholy; shows that overstimulate my mind and adrenaline, robbing me of sleep; relationships that drain me; and needless tasks that oversaturate my day, stealing my energy.

When we talk to God, ask Him to take the worry, and to give us His strength, He does. He gives us peace supernaturally through His Holy Spirit. He also points us to practical steps that lead us to peace. Being the mess I am, and seeing the Lord bring about healing and help in my life, I know He can change things around for the positive in anyone’s situation – even yours, no matter what you are facing.

The Lord reminds us all today, “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will exalted in the earth” (Psalms 46:10).

To my friends in business and leadership, whose hearts cry out, “Take my side, God — I’m getting kicked around, stomped on every day. Not a day goes by but somebody beats me up; they make it their duty to beat me up” (King David, Psalm 56:1).

To my friends in business and leadership, whose thoughts, forever running, tears and sweat pouring out, crying out, “There are kids… These are parents… There are families depending on me, on my decisions, on our success, our profit… for income, to thrive, to eat, to receive an education for their futures…”

Crying out, “There are workers, people – real people, who have invested in this business, this organization, trusting for a fruitful outcome one day, to get their kids through college, to one day retire from their labor… And, oh, how we have worked – how they have worked… I have worked and worked and worked, hour after hour, investing time, finances, years – maybe even forfeited years of my life – to see a fruitful outcome one day.”

Crying out, “…But, here and now, the statements pile up, the expense bleeds without profit to account for it, without profit to shore it up, to even it out, let alone advance. Oh, God, what do we do?!”

As King David did, so can we: “When I get really afraid, I come to you in trust. I’m proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do? …You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book” (King David, Psalm 56:1-8).

When we get really afraid, we trust in God.

Go to the Lord. Lay your burdens at His feet. You cannot bear this burden on your own. It is true: You do not have the answers to make the best decisions on your own, or the means to provide for your team or your family on your own. But, God has the answers in full supply! He is working behind the scenes on your behalf, on your team’s behalf, for you.

You have been crying out, “Oh, God, what do we do?!” Lean on Him. Lean into Him. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

You feel fear because you cannot trust yourself to make the right decisions. Release this fear. Set it free. Don’t talk yourself into why you can be trusted. Instead, acknowledge it is true: You cannot trust yourself. But, you can trust the Lord!

When we submit to the Lord, He makes our paths straight. Our submission has a holy, positive impact on those around us, as well. They see God through us, instead of seeing us.

In this time, especially, I urge you to remember: You are not your employee’s provider. You are not your family’s sole provider. God is their provider. He will work to perform His Word. And, when He does, it will become clear that it was Him. It will be clear that He performed the work, that He provided the provision, the miracle. It will be clear that He caused the impossible to become possible; and, He will receive all of the glory. (He does not need to share His glory with us! It’s so embarrassing to think of the times I wanted some glory. Yuck!)

Take this time to surrender to the Lord. Lay this all at His feet. Rest in Him as He accomplishes the God-sized work that only God can work! And be ready to give Him the glory and the praise for His wondrous works!

We praise you, Lord! Your ear is not deaf to our cries, nor is your arm too short to save. We put our total trust in you, Creator, Provider, Sovereign God.

I am praying for you, leaders – for rest in your minds and in your bodies, peace on your nervous systems, and for calming on your adrenaline. Rest. Here is a wonderful Psalm to meditate on, to cast our burdens on the Lord, as we refocus our gaze onto Him:

Psalm 40: 1-5

“I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.
Blessed is the one
    who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
    to those who turn aside to false gods.
 Many, Lord my God,
    are the wonders you have done,
    the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
    were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
    they would be too many to declare.”

It doesn’t matter your job title, the brand of car you drive, your pedigree, education, tax bracket or the level of your beauty. This is an equal inopportunity virus and situation. No one person is better than the other or immune to hardship. The regular rules of American society matter not in this pandemic, this national crisis. Everyone hurts in some way. In one way or another, it’s injury in the first-degree for everyone.

Please, I beg us, as a society to please put off pretense or pride. Let’s shed the strange social games that dictate to whom we say, “hello,” in the grocery store, who we choose to share our smile with or who we thank for a kind gesture. We have a commonality called “the human condition.” Unfortunately, we have found it hard to just be human for some time. I sincerely hope we have learned through this. Let us never again position our noses at a certain angle based on the size of our house.

Hopefully, we are all learning that it is by the grace of God that we have anything. Like with Jonah, God can even take away our shade if He likes. The sooner we learn that we are all beggars, the better our country will be for all. 

Lord, Give us eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to feel the love you have for us and for others. Help us lavish others with love and kindness, as you do, never again shrewdly withholding it out of pride… in Jesus’ Name.

Have you ever been in the back seat of a car on a winding road? If you’re like me, you came out green, rattled, undone, and gasping for breath. My husband loves, what I call, “athletic” cars. They aren’t the most expensive sports cars on the market, but they certainly aren’t the weakest. His car flaunts its horsepower and blows from 30 to 50 on the curves, rather than powering down.

As a result, I have taken to driving, or serving as front seat passenger, in my respectable, family vehicle on these trips. Closer to the helm, the center of the car, I move with the sturdiness of the car rather than jostling to my detriment. As a result, I feel fine — not rattled, green and gasping for breath.

In this time of turbulence, respected pastors have described it as a time of “shaking.” From Haggai 2:6-8, “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and what is desired by all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,’ says the Lord Almighty.”

God is shaking the earth. And many of us, who have been found on our own agendas, going at our own speeds, trying to blow past and breaking the rules, find ourselves feeling rattled, undone and gasping for breath. And, let’s face it: One way or another, we have all been found on our agendas, fixed on idols, speeding ahead on our own.

When our respect for and our focus has wavered away from the Lord God Almighty, creator of the universe, we find ourselves in risky situations that come with consequences. It simply has not worked for us. Yet, how blessed we are that we are still here. We can change our ways. We can stop our reckless behavior now. We must. And, by refocusing our gaze to be on Him, instead of on our own advancement, we can find solid ground.

Psalm 16:4 -8 says, “Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods or take up their names on my lips. Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

As we see, the jig is up. Living recklessly, speeding ahead, and blowing past all of the rules doesn’t work anymore. There are consequences for our behaviors: The earth is being shook.

But, by setting the Lord ahead of us and beside us, forsaking idols – including ourselves – we will not jostle with the shaking. When we remain beside the Lord, we will move along the sturdy hand of God; and, we will not be shaken.

Lord God, Please forgive us. We, as individuals and as a country, have been on our own agendas, going at our own speeds and blowing past your rules. I repent for the recklessness I have created through my actions. I repent for the idols, the things I have put before you, including myself. I thank you for your love… that we are still here, and that you are still here. Your Word tells us to draw near to you and you will draw near to us. So, I draw near to you. I trust you, Lord. I know that, when we are beside you, neither my family nor I will be shaken. Rather, the boundary lines fall in pleasant places for us.

Lord, I hand over my control. I hand over any survival mentality I have that makes me clutch to opportunities. Instead, I look to you, knowing you will provide everything we need. You are more than enough for me. I love you, Lord! Amen.

There were a handful of years I would get up at 3:30 in the morning, start my work, get ready, head to the office and run seven-to-10 very focused, back-to-back meetings every, single day. To take a deep breath, I would have to step into the bathroom. Even then, someone might knock on the door with a question or for a signature.

I smiled and did my work, happy to have work, but my nervous system and adrenal glands were completely taxed. I wondered how many years I was shaving off of my life, not out of dramatic thinking but from actually alarming symptoms.

Some of you have been running the same type of back-to-back, intense, highly-pressured schedules for years too. Though smiling, you cannot fool your body. It knows you are taking advantage of it, and it needs rest to heal.

There came a time when my body, my nervous system, and my soul, demanded that rest from me, and it was imperative I took it. I didn’t want to become dependent on medications, simply to feed my schedule. So I didn’t. I had to take a step back for myself and my family, and to hear the voice of God speaking.

I know everyone wants to get back to work and get back to the grind. That is motivated by a desire to connect but also to provide and to have a platform to exercise your giftings.

For some of you, you are freaking out until you do – either because you are beginning to feel desperate or because your identity is so deeply connected to what you do, and you feel your time – something you greatly value – is being rendered useless. You may be feeling worthless, pulled from the game.

For those of you, especially, I would like to assert that this time is not a waste, nor is it futile for you. This is time that your body needs to regenerate and to heal. Healing is a highly valuable use of your time and something you need, if you don’t want to be pulled from the game of life prematurely.

I had to learn, though I often enjoyed what I was doing – perhaps just telling myself that, at times, to push through – you cannot fool your body. Adrenal glands are real. Hormones and chemicals are real. Cortisol is real. And, they can get out of whack, disorienting your entire system, when you run for years without a break. This takes a literal toll on your body and your actual life.

The point of this message is to communicate with the achievers, the business owners, those of you with double-A personalities, who are anxious because you feel trapped or that time is being wasted: This time does not have to be wasted. This time can be a gift used for one of the most valuable investments you could ever make: an investment in your physical healing, through rest, to rejuvenate and restore your body, which impacts your quality of life and your life span.

This time is not a waste. Turn your brain off for awhile. Though it feels oxymoronic, turning your brain off and letting your body turn down, is actually one of the most valuable uses of your time. When that brain of yours does just want to think, consider what tools or exercises you can carry into your daily life and routine after this – once the work starts up at it’s usual pace – to respect your body and to maintain your healing.

I’ve said it before: “Success” nearly took me out. The good news is, when God helped press pause for me, making Himself abundantly known, the healing and rejuvenation I needed took place. Yet, you have to start by acknowledging the physical exhaustion you are experiencing and ask God to show you a new way to take care of your temple.

For some of you, you could not press pause on your own. It took an act of God for you to step back to rest and to heal. The good thing is, you have that opportunity now. And, your body will thank you for it. I think of two particular Bible verses, at this time, that serve as a reminder and an encouragement:

1. How we treat our bodies matters to God:
   “Do you know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…” (1 Corinthians 6:19).
   
2. If you find yourself weak, as I did, this is a wonderful verse to say out loud and to meditate on:
   “Praise the Lord, o my soul, all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles” (Psalm 103:5).

I truly felt 35 years older than I was; but, through rest, and becoming more aware of my limitations and aware of my value past producing, I de-aged. And, you can too! Now is your opportunity to do so.

Though your natural fall back in “down” times might be worry, please consider this when you go there: Thinking you can solve all of the issues at hand is your ego. I encourage you to find peace in knowing that you can’t solve every problem at hand, but God does not slumber or sleep. He is still God. He is still on His throne. He knows what you need, and He is working on your behalf right now.

Just rest.

During this forced pause, wounds are being noticed. Without our usual distractions, pain is bubbling to the surface. With nowhere to run, we have to face our wounds. And, I believe God wants us to.

I believe God wants to reveal our deep-seated, internal wounds so He can heal us. He is beckoning us to go on a journey with Him, a journey of healing, one we can no longer avoid.

I am on a journey. Prompted by unexpected emotion, I have been thinking about time lately… how time and space do not confine God like they confine us. Here on earth, there are limits on what can be – on who and what fits into our sequential timeline, into periods and generations, based on time’s limitations.

Yet, in heaven, time does not control anything. God controls everything. All we have lost… the saints we have lost, continue living on, regardless of their duration or particular years on earth. Everything is as He created it, destined it, to be.

Deep within, I have felt a bubbling lately – a sense of maternal clinginess, even anger and loss… deep loss, deeper than the situation at hand. I feel a righteous anger, swelling up within me, to pray and to fight for children whose health has been messed with. I feel deep compassion for parents, who struggle, seeking wisdom and praying continually for answers. The intensity of this feeling is something I cannot shake. I sense God prompting me to pray and to intercede for others; yet, I sense He is also pointing to a deep wound within me.

The other day, experiencing such deep emotion, I asked God to show me what wound I conceal. He did. It is a very deep wound I conceal, and keep close to my heart, going back to Fall of 2011. The Lord showed me that, deep below the surface, I grieve a baby who would have just turned eight.

When this loss happened, I didn’t know how to grieve. I denied it was happening. I was desperately doing all I could think of to save this pregnancy, to fight for our child, after receiving a bad report: I called on every doctor who might help, every prayer warrior or evangelist who would pray, sought alternate opinions, took medication, did the tests, mustered every ounce of faith I could, asked others to intercede… I gave it all.

I remember seeing concern in others’ eyes. They wondered if I was okay. They wondered if I was grasping the finality of the situation… Perhaps I wasn’t; or, perhaps I was desperate. I kept fighting. I did every possible thing I could until all weapons failed, and… we just lost. When it was unmistakably over, I remember my mom saying, “Sarah, you don’t have a decision to make here. God has removed it from you. Rest in Him.”

During this time of personal mourning, other joyous family events were taking place. I did not want to upstage joy with grief. I wanted to support and celebrate our family. I was also learning that it is difficult for friends, family members, even the mom herself, to know how to respond to this loss… No one knows what to say. So, I tried to conceal the pain… Yet, I thank the Lord for the support of my mom, the love of my husband, and the laughter, brought on by our hilarious, little boy.

Time began to move. I sought medical and spiritual answers to understand why this had happened. I felt I had failed. I wanted to know why we had lost. We were not getting practical answers. But, more than this, I wanted spiritual answers: How could this happen? How did we lose? We were in faith. How could the enemy win? I remember sitting with a pastor friend of mine. He said to me, “God always wins.” He explained that, what the Lord created and intended, He is accomplishing in heaven, where sin does not taint or destruct.

Soon, grief gave way to a holy desperation within me. I knew the Holy Spirit was yet birthing something in me… continued vision for our family. He was showing me the puzzle was not yet complete. I needed to fight again! I needed to fight with the weapon of courage to put our hearts out there again. Though frightened beyond belief, the Lord poured out His grace, wisdom from our doctor, and holy desperation to move forward.

In February of 2012, we were flooded by God’s goodness. We conceived who would become my best, little, girl friend – our sweet, precious, rainbow baby, Madison Laine. God knew I needed her – exactly her. Our loving doctor was so giving of ultrasounds and opportunities to hear her heartbeat over and over, to give us peace and joy. And, on November 6th, 2012, during the presidential elections, that joy was fulfilled with the birth of our precious Madison Laine.

The love we have for our children is, again, best described as desperate. I have hugged and protected Maddie and Zane, also a miracle baby (!), desperately, beyond grateful for the two treasures God has used to build out a truly fulfilling, meaningful life for us. Understanding the earth’s confinement of time – that I could not have her preciousness and the baby who was lost – I have always felt a sense of deep gratitude for God’s infinite wisdom that He gave me her… our sweet, darling Madison Laine.

We have had a number of rough years along the way since; and, I have always said to God, “Oh, how you knew I needed the light and the joy, the kindness and the compassion, of this girl to get me through this!” And, I just so enjoy these two characters, called Zane and Maddie. (Thank you, Lord!)

It’s when we speak of heaven, at church, that I feel my wound being exposed. In these moments, I allow myself to get distracted to ignore the pain. Yet, in this time-out of life, more than eight years later, I know God is bringing me face-to-face with my wound. In this sensitive and vulnerable place, He is teaching me that He is there. He tends to it, He corrects it, He wins.

God is showing me that two, deeply complex emotions, two deeply complex situations, can happen simultaneously – one blessing on earth and another in heaven. It’s what my friend and pastor, Wes, calls “the tension.” Time does not confine heaven as it confines us.

In this time, as God gives me a deeper glimpse into my heart, where the wound resides, He reminds me it is okay. It is okay to open my heart to Him and to ask a few questions. After all, He seeks truth, desires to give us revelation and to impart healing.

In these times where the sacred things are being exposed, where the Lord is shaking the earth… the Lord wants us to seek Him. He wants to be found by us. He wants you to open your heart. Give yourself permission to seek Him in the deepest places.

Today, I ask, Lord, who is this baby? Will she look like my children? Was it a girl? Is she a girl? Is there a way to know? What was her name? What is her name? Perhaps I won’t know any of these answers here on earth; but, by going to the Lord, I can receive comfort, deep within, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, who brings healing about in our hearts and souls. And, deep in my heart, I know I have treasure waiting for me in heaven, that nothing can corrode, nor anyone steal.

I encourage you to be brave with your heart, with your hurt… with your pain and your wounds, especially at this time. I know it hurts… I cannot imagine the wounds you have. Maybe your rainbow has yet to come. But, God knows. He sees your heart. He sees the wound.

You are precious to God. The Bible says He even bottles your tears. That is how precious your heart is to Him. “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book… God is on my side” (Psalm 56:8-9).

If you have experienced loss, I encourage you to seek healing. And, you are not alone. Reach out to our team of pastors. They… we… want to pray with you: Prayer@GraceSTL.org.

A relationship with Jesus is not simply about emotion or feeling good. A relationship with Jesus involves you. And, just like any other committed relationship, you must make a choice, every day. To protect your intimacy, you must have the tough conversations, put your cards on the table, expose your insecurities and your truth.

If you are tired and your emotions aren’t cutting it, maybe doubt is creeping in, go ahead, move from emotion to logic. Look at His actions, and ask yourself these questions:

• Has He always been true?
• When I was a mess, did it ever scare Him away?
• Has He ever left me when I needed Him?
• When I have been in pain, has He comforted me?
• Does He put me before Himself?
• Can I trust Him… with my things, with my dreams, with my future …with my heart, with my kids?

See, we must bring our doubts and insecurities, and in honesty, leave them at the table like any relationship we commit to. Yet, unlike any other relationship, we will never come up empty-handed.

• He always brings.
• He always shows up.
• He always provides.
• He’s always there.

So, if your emotions are taxed, and you need logic, know that Jesus is still Jesus, and He is always Jesus, no matter how you look at Him, regardless of how you shift or how you feel.

Looking at His “track record” in your life, you will find Him more than good, more than loving, always loyal, forever committed, ever safe and caring. He’s also very, very patient.

What’s going on in the economy has just impacted my husband, so our family, too. We’ve been in very stressful situations before… perhaps more times than I can even count. One such experience taxed me beyond my ability to feel. In that situation, I learned this: When the odds feel stacked against me, and my emotions betray me, I have a choice to make.

Go ahead, ask yourself this question, too: Will I choose to put my faith into practice, into action, even when I’m not feeling it? Will I truly take God at His Word? When my emotions have failed me, unable to be trusted, will I make the daily choice to believe everything I said I believe when I felt good?

You must make that choice. For me, yes, always; because, I know God is always with me, His Holy Spirit helps me in my weakness, and I simply can do nothing alone. (I’ve learned that the hard way!)

When the odds seem stacked against you, you need God more. You need reinforcements. That’s what the Christian walk is all about: We are sinful, so we try going it alone. We trust our emotions and we trust our abilities, when we should not. We let ourselves, and the world lets us down, and we say, Now what…? Help! And Jesus comes to the rescue… Every time, no matter how many times that is.

So, if your feelings are taxed, and you don’t even want to hear yourself talk, simply utter that four-letter-word that will actually get you somewhere, Help! And He will come bail you out, scoop you up, comfort you, and bandage you time and time again. He has already done it so many times, proven Himself so many times.

Keep choosing Him, every day, and you will get through this. He makes His Word good, and that is what makes Him supernatural in a very natural world. We love you, Jesus!

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrew 10:23).

Under pressure, everything within us on high alert, we come face-to-face with our issues. As the pot begins to boil, our insecurities manifest themselves in various areas of our lives. And, very often, our reaction is to hide.

We do all we can to keep the pot from boiling over: We dissipate the smoke, cover the smell, clean it up, pretend it’s not there. We piece together fragments and patch together stories to guard our pride, to maintain a sense of control. As we do, we forfeit a piece of our souls.

Yet, the Bible teaches us there is another way – a way out of the pain, a way out of the hiding. It says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). Healing comes from confession, from facing our issues head-on, exposing our pain, relinquishing our pride and trading it for wholeness.

Why do we settle for fragments when we could be whole?

What are you hiding? Is it the weakness you feel, the wrong you have done…? Is it the pain that has been inflicted upon you? What threat or lie has been cast so deeply into your soul, that it has taken root and feeds on darkness? What pain occurred, what wound left untreated?

Who is it? Who has you captive, sweet friend? Who is your perpetrator? Is it shame or guilt? Is it addiction or condemnation? Is pride choking you, trapping truth inside a rock-hard shell? Who is it that threatens to take you out, to remove you from the game?

You hide, sweet soul… Where have you gone? Are you trapped in your most painful moment, stuck within addiction, riddled by the guilt that leaves you hanging by a thread, threatening to take you out? Where are you?

The Bible tells us, “nothing is hidden, except to be revealed; nor has anything been secret, but that it would come to light” (Mark 4:22). The truth always comes to light. Is it time? Is it time to expose the dead within you that it might come to life?

The Lord wants to save you. He wants to remove the barrier that separates you, break you free from prison and the chains that bind you. He beckons you to come out from hiding so He might restore you. He calls to you, His beloved:

“I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land” (Jeremiah 29:14).

Release the prisoner. Unhinge the latch that keeps you hiding, that keeps you in shame, that locks you in fear, anxiety and isolation. Come out of hiding. Take a step. Step out of the darkness and into His glorious light.

Step into the light, where maggots die, and light gives way to breath, and breath gives way to life. The Lord is drawing you, calling you, out of darkness… come home. Jesus came to set captives free, to restore them from torment and return them to the arms of their Father.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” (Isaiah 61:1).

Step out of your death, and step into your life. Freedom has come.