Uncertainty. It’s the word slipping into our nervous systems, rattling around in our brains and falling from our lips these days. Just as you recognize an entire area of your life you must totally reprocess and replan, you learn another of life’s large buckets has been assigned a press conference by evening. The news doesn’t stop, neither do the texts, the death tolls are rising, and every person, family and community is regrouping at every turn.

For those who really need time to process, you don’t have it. For those who choose flight instead of fight, there’s no place you can run. For those who want to fight, you haven’t yet met your opponent – the issues are still too nebulous to grasp. Uncertainty. Unknowns. Total lack of control. Anxiety. Fear. Panic. Wonder.

Though many of our basic needs are vulnerable, yet floating, most of us are asking, Why?

The logical are attempting to use logic, looking for all of the controlled factors that could equate to this situation; so we can, perhaps, back our way out of this methodically.

The innovators are out front, searching for solutions, as quickly as they come to them, to help navigate possible ways out.

The businesspeople are attempting to climb past emotion to mitigate loss and find a baseline of economic ground to stand on.

The marketers observe, watching consumers, looking for behaviors, reading statistics, awaiting new case studies and attempting to regroup.

The pioneers look for new ways of doing things, with little additional loss at risk because everything is risk, and this is the time to pilot.

Those in the frontlines serve, showing us sacrificial beauty, to their own detriment, yet building their legacy along the way.

The parents ache. They wonder. They protect. They feed. They teach. They stress. They pray. They Zoom. [Let’s face it: We all Zoom.]

And, the kids… oh, how I wonder what is going on in their hearts and minds. Ultimately, I believe they miss their friends, their opportunities, their communities – their grandparents, cousins, classrooms, gymnastics teams and playmates. [I pray the Lord tends to these little hearts and softens the nerves of the caretakers.]

And, the spiritual are asking what God is doing here… Though I am included in a number of the above, this is my stop. So, what is God doing here?

I have often had people come to me for advice, solutions or answers. As a result, too often, I actually thought I had them. Yet, life has humbled me, and I know I have nothing without God. Still, this brain ever moves, my utterances continually go up to God, and I attempt to override fear with faith.

But Tuesday got to me.

I have so much – beyond words – to be grateful for. And I want to pause with extreme gratitude… Yet, for some reason Tuesday, I surpassed logic and fight, and I felt. Perhaps oddly, the straw that broke the camel’s back was realizing that my kids can’t play on playgrounds for countless weeks – even months – of their lives.

Of everything going on in our economy, I don’t know why this broke me. It might be because our son has A.D.H.D., and his “medication” is activity. Perhaps it dawned on me that our basic, daily rights have been worn down by an invisible predator. Maybe I just took a breath and realized the state of the world; and, clearly, like everyone else, I didn’t like it. Or, maybe I, myself, with A.D.H.D.-tendencies felt claustrophobic. All I know is, I felt mad. Panic set in, and I had the first panic attack I’ve had in a long time.

That night, when I tucked our kids into bed, we opened my son’s cartoon Bible. Our “hero profile,” as this Bible introduces its characters, was on Job. I won’t get into all of the history of Job, but I will just summarize it this way:

Job was a good guy. He was a rich guy, but his wealth didn’t impede his love and devotion to God.

The devil, the menacing piece of junk he is, told God that Job would not love Him or serve Him, if he didn’t have all the things and all the goodness. God said, he will.

The enemy tested Job in disgusting ways, not only tearing away wealth but taking his sons and then his health. Job stayed true in his devotion to God. But, when his friends said they wouldn’t blame him if he just died, he began losing hope and cursed the day he was born.

In Job’s wallowing and self-pity, God steps in to wake him up and give him perspective. God says, “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand” (Job 38:2-4).

What is happening here is, Job – mortal man – has questioned the God of the universe; and now God, creator of the universe, has some questions for Job: Does Job know the meaning of life and how the universe operates? [Read Job 38. Whoa.] It becomes clear, quickly, that Job does not; because Job is not God, he is mortal man. Only God knows the answers because God is God and Job is not. [Spoiler alert: Job humbles himself before the mighty hand of God, and God lifts Job up, giving him more than he had before.]

This was the perfect Bible passage for me Tuesday night. The words, “brace yourself” reminded me to snap out of it – out of the self-pity, out of the fear and the anger. After all, who am I?

God is God, and I am not. He reigns over the earth and has dominion above all things. Who am I to question or to make suggestions? I am so glad He is on the throne – that He is God, and I am not. Consider myself humbled.

Though we naturally grapple for control, all we need to do at this time is put our trust in God, as He does the work that God does, which far surpasses our understanding. All the other things are far “above my pay grade,” and I can breathe a deep sigh of relief. I can just focus on loving and serving, knowing He has – as I sang as a child – the whole world in His hands.

Time to find things to do to serve.

Why do we think we’re being punished? The things that are being revoked are man-made. If man can make it, man can revoke it; and, I don’t want to be a slave to man. But, that which God made, man cannot revoke. That which God made is tended to, fruitful and full of life.

“He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for people to cultivate— bringing forth food from the earth: wine that gladdens human hearts, oil to make their faces shine, and bread that sustains their hearts. The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the junipers” (Psalm 104:14-18).

Exit your cocoons. Step outside. Look around. Smell the air. See the skies. The green approaches. If it’s raining, it’s God watering the mountains from His upper chambers. If the sun is shining, the Lord is looking down with favor.

Oh, don’t be confused, oh my soul. What man made, man can revoke. But what God made, not man nor the devil can shake!

All things are inferior and subject to the hand of God.

“Whoever shuts their ears to the cry of the poor will also cry out and not be answered” (Proverbs 21:13).

Less separates us than we think. And, at some point, we all need each other. This is that point.

I remember interviewing my grandpa for a paper in high school: His dad died when he was 10. There were four boys, and it was the Great Depression. They lived in the back of a post office and only had coffee grounds to eat sometimes. He would stand in the “relief line” for bread and eggs, while the boys from school taunted him.

I remember feeling heartbroken for him. Yet, it was sympathy, not empathy; because it felt like a distant land — nothing that would ever happen in my lifetime. But, here we are, folks: Bread, eggs, a roll of toilet paper… it will help “regular” people. Nothing separates us from each other right now.

If you have extra of anything, as basic or as limited as it is, don’t feel insecure about that gift. Don’t underestimate it. That is a lot right now. Look to your left and your right. Find that person who needs it. And, if you need something — bread, eggs, a roll of toilet paper… as small as the gift might be, don’t feel insecure about receiving it right now.

After all, we are all really the same. This becomes blaringly obvious to me in these times. We need each other. Let’s learn to be sensitive to each other. We are being given the opportunity to see one another in a different light. We are being given the opportunity to learn how to love in a new way, to shore up our differences. And, love is worth the lesson.

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” (Psalm 94:19).

def. Consolation. the comfort received by a person after a loss or a disappointment.

I remember being a little girl, full of worry, hoping the best for my parents, the best for our family. Though I felt small and powerless to create change, I often assume a feeling of blame for the problems that existed. (Why? Because the enemy is a liar and tries to deceive us.)

But, greater than that, and far more powerful was the presence of of God — the presence of His Holy Spirit that comforted me from a very young age. I knew He was always with me. I would talk to Him, and I knew He was ministering to me, speaking to my heart. He was – and remains to this day – my best friend.

When alone and scared, I have often felt as though a big, safe dad was holding me. The Lord is intentional in His friendship, in His presence, and in comforting us.

All throughout His Word, He reminds us of His intentionality in comforting and consoling us in our pain and disappointment:

“The lowly He sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety” (Job 5:11).

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

“¹May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

As hard as we try to shield our children from discouragement and pain in life, we may not always be successful. Yet, the best thing we can do for our children is introduce them to Jesus and nurture them in their personal relationship with Him.

Of all the gifts and opportunities my parents gave me, I’m most thankful for their gift of feeding and nurturing my faith — for every Sunday school service, church service, prayer service, and youth group meeting they took me to.

After all, parents, try as we might, we are not strong enough, wise enough, or present enough to be all that they need. Circumstances come and go; and, one day, we will go too; but the presence of the Lord never leaves us…. never leaves them. He always comforts and keeps watch on our children all of their lives. He is like a strong tower that they can run to and be safe.

I pray that the Holy Spirit comforts you, comforts us, and comforts our children, through this difficult time. And I pray that they learn so much more about the Lord’s presence, and a friendship with Jesus, through this. May our heritage be faith in and friendship with the Lord for generations to come, in Jesus’ Name.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

A friend likes to remind me that God is not sitting in heaven wondering, or fretting over, how He will supply for us. I don’t imagine He is carrying the two, sharpening His pencil or furrowing His brow. Everything we need, He has. And He doesn’t have to ask permission or wait for a signature. He is our full supply of everything.

My husband, Justin, and I have been together for nearly 18 years. We have had our ups, with excess, and we have had our downs – even to the point of limiting our flushing to conserve water. (Yes. It’s true!)

Over time, we have had moments of wondering how we would pay our mortgage, keep the lights on, pay the water bill or medical bill, put food on the table, or pay our team. Moments like these are part of the ups and downs of life, for nearly everyone at different points along their journey. But, God has truly always supplied. Always!

God sees all of our needs. He knows what we need, even before we do. He sees the concerns that creep up, that even live at the surface for seasons at times, and He tells us to shift the weight of those burdens over to Him. The Bible reminds us, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

King David, who had seen it all, said, “Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the Godly abandoned or their children begging for bread” (Psalm 37:25).

The Lord speaks to our hearts. He shows up through action. He even appeals to our logic, to remind us that He is our provider! He is reminding us that He sees us, He sees our need, He supplies for us, and that He wants to supply for us; because, He loves us.

[Here comes a tough assertion.] Unfortunately, our culture has turned this into, “If you don’t make me rich, you don’t love me.” I really wonder what this does to the heart of God, what kind of intimacy this removes, and what we are missing out on when we do that.

Let me ask, would you rather have a dad who sent a large check to you every month to satisfy His responsibility, or a dad who wants to do life with you all throughout the journey every, single day? God, our heavenly dad, wants to supply for our needs. If you take a look back, I thing we would all agree that He has more than proven Himself good on His word. Yet, He wants to supply so much more than that.

He wants to be here in the daily with us, to provide a sturdy foundation, to extend friendship and comfort, to protect us, to give us wisdom to help us make tough decisions. He wants to be a real dad to us in the daily. That is so much more than financial supply.

God wants to teach us through the journey. He wants to build spiritual muscle in us so we get stronger and calmer through the difficulties of life. He wants to help us grow to be solid, to begin to think beyond ourselves, to be able to mature and to partner with Him in the work He is doing.

I remember hitting milestones of maturity as a child, a teen and a young adult. As I did, my parents opened up more opportunities to me, because I was maturing, getting emotionally stronger, and proving to be trustworthy in those areas.

God is, and He wants to be, our supplier. Yet, there is even so much more beyond that baseline of financial provision. He is teaching us who He is, and who we are, through this. And, He is preparing us for greater Kingdom accomplishment through it all… Like the real dad that He is.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Everyone handles catastrophe differently. Some fight. Some run. Some retreat inwardly. Others erupt outwardly.

No one wants a catastrophe. Most people want to just act like themselves. But our emotions, our adrenaline, our hormones and chemicals are altered in times of disaster. You almost surely will experience odd interactions — maybe a few shorter texts than usual, a blunt email or two, all caps or exclamation points.

I used to take these personally, thinking they were happening to me. But, after experiencing numerous good people under stress or in crisis, I learned I just happened to be the one there, hearing or reading what was coming out, what had finally erupted in the moment, or even the pain of radio-silence as they withdrew.

In these times of crisis, in calamity, we work to have patience with each other, to treat each other with love and friendship. But, we – the ones on the receiving side of strange interactions with good people – we too have the option to extend grace and compassion. We can refuse to take it personally, seeing they are struggling, recognizing we just happen to be there when their “moment” happened, or that we are safe enough to be trusted with their pain.

We have the opportunity to be peacemakers.

Over time, I have had to learn where others end and I begin, to not own their feeling or accept the blame – resulting in defense, or take it to heart. I have learned that I must relinquish some of my own insecurity and sensitivity to be a peacemaker, but it is so worth it!

I have also learned that, when I fail to relinquish my own insecurity, I can respond in such a way that extends the drama past the moment of crisis into real life, and that is so sad and not worth it.

I am not suggesting we get close to, or tolerate bad behavior, from “iffy” people. The Bible tells us, “do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered” (Proverbs 22: 24). Instead, remembering, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a hard word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Everyone is super stressed. Let’s be the soft answer, the peacemaker. Jesus calls us blessed when we do, and I would rather be blessed than be “right.”

The disciples were waiting to see what would come next. All they knew was that Jesus was leaving them, that He was crucified, and that they would need courage. They didn’t know where they were going or what would happen next in their lives. All they knew, in this moment, was loss.

What could possibly be next? What could compare to what they had seen, what they had done, what they had been a part of with Jesus at work – bringing the Kingdom of God to earth, and including them? Now, all they knew was that He had died; and, here they were. Would what He said come to pass?

What would they do with this time. How much time would they now have, and how would they spend it? Fishing again? Really? How could that compare to the work of Jesus to the people? And, reality – in the natural, that is – had set in that Jesus was now buried.

They waited, but they didn’t know they were waiting. They were mourning. They were in shock. They didn’t know what to do or where to go next… and, all of this pain and devastation by their “friend” who betrayed them. How could this happen with such devastating severity?

Then, suddenly, the Marys came. They were leaping with boundless energy and joy – the very same Marys whose battle – they thought – had been lost, whose hearts utterly shattered! What was this news? Go to Galilee? …Okay. Where else would they go? What else would they do?

So they went, and JESUS CAME. JESUS CAME. He came! He had RISEN from the dead! He would ascend to be with the Father, but He came here to them, with orders first. He came with vision, direction, a calling, a commission, a purpose for them – for us:

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, ’All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age’” (Matthew 28: 16-20).

And, now they knew where they would go, and they knew what they would do! They wouldn’t be left behind but included in this Kingdom journey! We had not lost. They were not left behind. It was a new season, one that would change the entire world for eternity, and they would be included!

*If you are waiting on Jesus, it can be difficult to wait. At times you even wonder if you are waiting or if it is just all “over.” But when you meditate on Him – shocked, heart broken, confused and in pain – remember that JESUS CAME.*

In the waiting, know He is real, and that He has words to give you, to show you where you go next. Your direction is coming. Keep waiting for the news, for the direction. Seek Him.

He comes with vision, direction, a calling, a commission, and purpose, to those with courage and to those who are lacking. And, He stamps His authority on it, and places His Spirit on us to see it through.

Don’t give up.

There is so much pain in the world. It is hard to reconcile. It is hard to know – to digest, to live with, to stop thinking about, once you’ve begun.

We numb the pain with fake happy, shove it down, turn a blind eye. Or, maybe we do care and throw some money at it. What can we do? We don’t know what else we can do. I don’t have the answers.
I just feel the pain.

I want to hug sweet babies in pain… let them know they are loved, found, and healed in Him.

I want to hug sweet mommies, who have lost their child… at least for now until heaven.

I want to encourage husbands whose wife is sick, dying… or in a coma.

I want to comfort the laborer who has lost a limb… or the sweet, elderly man whose mobility, already so constricted, has fallen down stairs. It’s so much.

God, what would you have us do? What would you have us do? The times and the situations… they are so heavy and so hard. Our hearts break, and we yearn to help beyond what we are able or what feels appropriate in these times. We don’t know what to do to process, to help, to speak, to be… This is where the Holy Spirit comes in.

Lord God, We thank you for the Holy Spirit. Please show us, with each little step, every single word, with our gifts, our time, our resources, our emotions and our heart. Please show us how we can positively contribute to others, sharing your love and bringing aid to the hurting. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I was lamenting something lost today. But God immediately brought to my mind that I have free will. Because of His love, He has given me – given us – free will. I can come and I can go as I will, and we have freedom in that.

However, quickly, my awareness was drawn to what becomes of my will when I allow it to truly run free. I am capable of so many fruitless efforts and catastrophic crusades. And so, I thank the Lord for the free will He has granted us – granted me – that I don’t have to feel like a victim, nor do I ever need to feel like Rapunzel… But, having run wild and free before, I see the possibilities — and not all are great. So, while I know I am free, I know where that can lead.

And so, I ask God to align my will with His so that I might joyfully live out my life with creativity and effectiveness — the kind that benefits others and the kingdom, and not vain, fruitless pursuits. 

How is it that struggle and wisdom can go hand-in-hand, and that something that may seem like a punishment can actually be a reward? 

Much like coal can become a diamond and sand a pearl, God has his ways of turning ashes into beauty. His ways are above my understanding. I realize that the fallenness in impatience is an attempt to control timing, which is one of God’s most powerful tools in cultivating beauty.

Lord, Forgive me for the times I twisted your arm. Thank you for being patient with me, for forgiving me, and for graciously taking the reins to fix the messes that I have made on my own. I love you.