“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects” (Hebrews 12:5-6).
When I was 15, my parents grounded me for a full semester. I was confident they hated me. Time to get your driver’s permit? Nope. Sweet sixteen? Nope. Driver’s license? Nope. Sadie Hawkins dance? Nope. Grounded. Stuck right beside my parents, both of whom are coaches. My brother would traipes in and out. Meanwhile, I couldn’t receive phone calls and could only go outside to exercise.
Heavy-handed? It certainly sounds like it when you’re hearing my side. (Fortunately, my parents won’t tell you my sins.) Yet, it forced me to focus and to shuffle my priorities around in the right order. It taught me how to relate to others, especially my elders. It taught me to have higher regard for others rather than thinking of my own selfish desires.
When disciplined, we tend to only whine, turning a blind eye to the protection it will provide. Protection is one of the greatest gifts we are given through discipline, yet we take it for granted. After all, through God’s protection, we seldom see the countless collisions we have instigated.
Yet, as a loving father, God cannot allow us to go on living recklessly. That wouldn’t be loving to us or to those around us. He must stop us in our tracks to get our attention. He is not trying to break us. He is training us, preparing us.
“God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live?”(Hebrews 12:7-9 ). He is teaching us how to live.
“While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best.” In grounding me, my parents looked beyond my immediate demands to prepare me for my future. I needed to learn those lessons to understand how to operate and interact to be successful in life. [It also prepared me for the quarantine life.]
It is not loving to let your child run out into the street. It is not loving to allow your child to hurt themself or others. It is not loving to let them hang out with reckless people, no matter how loud they kick and scream. And, God LOVES us! So, when God stops us, He is loving us. God knows when we are living recklessly, and He wants to keep a watchful eye on us until we have learned to operate in safety for our sake and for the sake of others.
Contrary to what some might think, God does not get joy from “grounding” us. He would rather lavish us with abundance. How many of us parents can say, “Grounding is actually more work for me!”? No one gets joy from rebuking and punishing. As parents, we would rather go on fun adventures with our children. (The discipline feels like a punishment to the parent too!) It takes perseverance to parent. Yet, the long-lasting, far-reaching outcomes make the discipline worth it!
God has put me in time-out a couple of times since high school. When He does this, like my parents, He is not pushing me out of His way or placating me to stop my whining. He is drawing me nearer to Him. He knows we need those pauses in life, these time-outs, to slow down, and to calm down to hear from Him. He wants to create a soft space where we reflect on the danger we were veering into so we will operate with greater safety and wisdom moving forward. He does all of this because He deeply, eternally cares.
As I went to bed last night, I found myself reflecting on situations that never happened, catastrophes God spared us of, close calls we didn’t know were present, and pain He spared us of that we never realized lurked around the corner.
Likewise, I thought about the moments when something painful does arise in our lives, at our own hand. Too often, we turn to God to blame Him, not stopping to realize that He paid our mortgage, cooked our meals, set our table, made our bed, bought the clothes on our back, did our homework, wrote our resume and got us our job.
We ask God for protection and provision, so He brings it. He shows us where we are going the wrong way, a dangerous direction, for our protection. Then we doubt Him. Like adolescents, we blame Him.
“It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects” (Hebrews 12:6). As our Heavenly Father, the one who planned us and created us, He loves us. He is doing everything out of His overwhelming love for us, even disciplining us… especially disciplining us. It is all out of love for our own safety and prosperity in life.
(A prayer) Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to save me from myself. Thank you for protecting my family by disciplining me, by discipling us, that we might live the full, abundant lives you have set out for us. Help me to be a loving mother to my children, as you are a father. Help me to persevere in protecting them by taking the time to lovingly discipline them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Sarah Guldalian 